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Young Writers Society

From Mrs Midas

by Empires

Midas, Midas, Midas,
my sweet fool. 
Didn't you know that you always
had the the golden touch. 

But now, you are nothing
more than a statue made of pyrite,
and your insides filled with the dust of what
you used to have. 

"Penny for your thoughts ma'am?"

My thoughts cost much more than that. 

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277 Reviews

Points: 1335
Reviews: 277

Fri Nov 04, 2016 3:35 am
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Charm says...

the last two lines are spectacular <3 welcome to YWS btw (i'm a bit late to welcoming you lol)

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22 Reviews

Points: 35
Reviews: 22

Thu Nov 03, 2016 2:06 am
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pastelqueen wrote a review...

Hi there! This is PastelQueen here to review your poem. Just a fair warning it's been awhile since I've reviewed something so please bare with me!

I absolutely adore poems that are short, but still have the ability to punch you in the gut with emotion and this is a great example of it!!! The fact that you are taking a myth that was centered around a man and making us consider and care about a woman’s point of view on the situation is always a brilliant idea and you executed it amazingly! Also, and correct me if I’m wrong, but to me that idea always gives of some feminist undertones and I get that from yours. Especially from the title, but I will get to that later.

So, onto Mrs. Midas herself, I think if her character was made more in depth in the myth and subsequent stories, the voice you give her in this poem is exactly what I’d imagine it would be. It breaks the mold of the stereotypically caring wife and shows this woman that is both condescending and somewhat caring to an admittedly stupid husband. The voice you give her is unmistakably that of a queen or, at the very least an aristocrat, because the voice itself carries so much weight and importance that we, as the audience, can’t help but feel that too. Even though there is not much imagery in this poem I am still able to picture it perfectly.

Finally I decided to make the title it’s own paragraph because I just love it so much. Like with so many wives or other female characters in literature Mrs. Midas was never given a name. Just like Curley's wife from “Of Mice And Men” all she is known for his being a wife and the very few character traits she’s been given. But this poem gives her something she has never had, a voice, a look on her perspective of things. Granted we probably might never be able to give poor Mrs. Midas an actual name, but I’d say a distinctive and personal voice is much more important than a name.

I absolutely loved this poem and I can’t wait to read more amazing things from you! Keep up the good work!!

Empires says...

Thank you

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193 Reviews

Points: 575
Reviews: 193

Wed Nov 02, 2016 9:43 pm
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herbgirl wrote a review...

Hello! herbgirl here for a review!
To start, I'd like to say that I really like this idea. I had never thought about Mrs.Midas, although I suppose of course there must have been one, and it's amusing in itself to imagine what she must have thought about her husband's predicament. It's a little sad, too, but we'll get to that later.
Now, done to some suggestions. In the first stanza, you say, "Didn't you know that you always/had the golden touch." This seems a little off to me. Of course Midas knew he had the golden touch, he essentially asked for it from the gods, and was overjoyed to receive it. You may have meant the statement in a less literal way, as a loving comment from a doting wife. Perhaps you meant it to mean that to Mrs. Midas Midas was always truly blessed, although not with gold. I feel if either of these were the case, you need to clarify. In the first case you could say, "Didn't you know/that there is more to life than the shimmer of gold?" or something similar. In the second, you could say, "Didn't you know that you always had/much more worth than comes with gold?" or something similar.
I liked the second stanza very much, because of the figurative language you use. However, I don't believe that this sticks correctly with the myth. In the end, wasn't Midas forgiven by the gods for his greed and the curse was removed? I understand the second stanza from an artistic stand point, I think it suits the message of the story much better, but it might confuse those unfamiliar with the myth. Try to elaborate on this, it might help to clear things up if you explain where your idea is coming from withing the poem.
Finally, the last two lines. I liked this, but it took me a second to understand what you were trying to say. I think that this, and also most of the poem, would make a lot more sense if you could clarify at what point in the myth this poem takes place. It could take on a very different meaning depending on when this occurs.
Sorry if this review seemed harsh! I just really like the idea, and I think it could be very good. Basically, just elaborate on what you have, and it will be great.
Thanks for the read, and good luck!

Empires says...

Thank you for your review!

*Sad football bagpipes*
— DougalOfBiscuits