The Ark as we knew it

Hey there, hope in for a quick review!

This view of Ark is refreshing! A humour contrasts between Mr and Mrs Noah are as wide as it can be.

The love of God Mr Noah has and the wife complaining about the animals invading their personal space. Monkey hanging and need to wait for the turtle!
I hope heaven do save this work as a masterpiece.
I like how it finishes off using us to rhyme.

Thank you. Hope to see you soon!

Wow!!!!!!!!!!!! That's quite unlike anything I have ever read!! I enjoy it didn't really rhyme. And shield me from the lonely tower
of my thoughts...

Oh so true, Oh so hopeful, Oh so comforting
*weeps*

Hey there! It's ZeldaIsShiek here to review another quintessential piece of literature that made my day and win this Review Day by helping the Red Pandas stay in first place and reaching my goal of 80 reviews. I might even get to 100, if I work hard enough. I am really excited to review this amazing piece of art that you have created, and maybe add some witty humor as well. Anyway, that's enough idle chatter from me. Let's get into the review.

This poem is both spiritual and humorous because of the contrast between Noah's holy request of his God and his wife's complaining about the animals getting into trouble. I find this poem funny as I imagine Noah and his wife and their adventures as they are on the ark. I also like how the last line is italicized as it marks the end of the journey. Mrs. Noah's paragraph begins the narrative, and the italicized part is the ending. Noah's speech is him pleading to God to deliver them safely to the end of their journey. Even if I am not Christian, I appreciate your creative humor and writing skills.

That's all for today. Keep writing amazing literature that inspires me to read and review them, and have a great Review Day! Let's beat the Blues once and for all!

~ZeldaIsShiek

Thanks for sharing! I'm sure that God in his heavens even laughing! Best part is the monkey on his head and one hanging over the edge. Then the slow turtles! Quite a menagerie he had on board! Liked the way it rhymed at the end and the way both Noah and his wife are given a chance to express themselves. Wish it would have continued longer with more animals and complaints. LOL! One thing that confused me was the use of the word "head"instead of "hear ". But then risked a cerebral short circuit and put two and two together and figured it out. No big deal. All in all good show!

Hey @Empires ! Stella here, for a review.

So correct me if I'm wrong, but to me, these seemed like two very different poems. Like, the Mrs Noah section is humorous and rhyming and sort of comic. But the Mr Noah verse is lyrical and spiritual and lovely in a very different way. It's like they're two facing pages in a poetry collection, not meant to be part of the same work.

So that big tonal shift, to me, is something that you could work on. Honestly, the Mr Noah section is much, much stronger. It pulls on the story of the ark but also on different themes and motifs that turn up elsewhere in Christian scripture - I really liked the vision of "the lonely tower of my thoughts" (in Ireland, where I'm from, round towers are often seen as a symbol of the faith of early Christians, and of a God who protects, so I think that's why this symbolism speaks to me out of the poem!).

I think that you have three very different stanzas here. As I say, 1 and 2 don't necessarily go together. Then, there's a temporal difference: 1 is while they're loading up, 2 is while they're on board and 3 is when they're brought to safety. I like 2 and 3 but I wonder would you be able to make a stronger poem if you just focused on one part of the voyage?

Also, weren't there just two doves? xD I like the idea of them being surrounded by doves though!

So I think you just have to decide, what poem are you writing? Are you writing the quasi-comedy of trying to get *two of every animal in the entire world* onto one boat? Or are you writing the faith of a man in his God against all odds? I just don't think that the two really fit together, but that either idea could be expanded to be a poem of its own! Maybe you were trying to make them contrasting, but it just didn't quite gel for me.

Good concepts though for sure, and some lovely phrasing

Hope I helped, drop me a note if you need anything!

- Stella x