Absolutely Amazing!!..
Simple but full of meaning!! I Love it!
I used to write the end of stories
before their beginning.
Perhaps that is why I fell
for you before you were ready to catch me.
Perhaps that is why I clasped
your hand so tightly in mine
like I was holding forever in my fingertips.
Perhaps that is why I loved you
before I loved myself.
Perhaps that is why
I haven't picked up the pen since I met you.
Much like my writing,
We were always a work in regress.
Absolutely Amazing!!..
Simple but full of meaning!! I Love it!
Hey there Empires. It's just Lizzy dropping by real quick, so without a further ado, let the reviewing begin.
Oh, you're new. Welcome to YWS and I hope you have fun on the site. Also congrats on posting your first poem.
I've read a lot of poems this week about love and such. And the problem with this is that I can not relate to any of the poems because I've never been in love. So instead I'll just point out a couple things in the poem, that I can relate to the narrator at.
1. Though it was probably mostly a metaphor for your poem, I can really relate to the first line. And not just in writing. For pretty much everything, I will do it backwards, if it seems fit.
2. Yeah I can't relate to the narrator in any other way. I'm sorry to have t say that but personally I can't find a way to connect to the points brought up.
A couple of the line arrangements sound awkward to me when I read them aloud. I put the first example in a quote below.
Perhaps that is why I fell
for you before you were ready to catch me.
Perhaps that is why I fell for you,
before you were ready to catch me.
Perhaps that is why I clasped
your hand so tightly in mine
like I was holding forever in my fingertips.
Hi there, Biluata here for a review. Welcome to YWS, and feel free to PM me if you have any questions or concerns, or if you post anything else and you want me to review it! I hope you find our little community plenty welcoming.
Anyway, onward and upward with the review, eh?
Please note that this is just my opinion and by no means am I a professional, so everything is mostly a suggestion, use it or ignore it, whichever you'd prefer.
The concept of poetry about love is a rather common one and the trick is finding a creative way to show the emotion associated with that particular chemical reaction, and I think I can honestly say that you did it pretty well.
I can empathize with the narrator, something important for readers in any work of writing, and what you are saying makes perfect sense. I enjoyed your stanza breaks and punctuation, it made the poem flow nicely when read aloud (or aloud in my head, since I am in school).
I can find no errors or anything I'd recommend you change, but stay open to what everyone has to say, cha?
I can't wait to see what else you can bring to the table!
~Luata
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