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You are Home to me

by Empires


You were a breath of fresh air

A light

A hope

A smile

I can still hear your bellowing laughter that filled the room

I can still feel your soft touch which put my world at ease

I can still hear your comforting voice that calmed my soul

I have to remember you for longer

than I knew you.

It always hurts, this type of pain never truly

disappears.

Some days it hurts more 

than the day it actually happened.

Until we meet again,

I miss you. 


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Thu Jan 26, 2023 12:50 pm
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hareem013 wrote a review...



"You were a breath of fresh air" this line was just-well done, really explaining how the author relied on comfort from this person (if that is what you meant), now the line "I have to remember you for longer than I knew you" really hits hard, this line is incredible, showing the sadness, the feeling of emptiness in the author cause of the leave of this person. This line really spoke out to the readers, that I can assure you. Now what I'd like to see is a more interesting choice of vocabulary, but this work was great and can be improved, I'd like for you to to experiment with different words and test to see if they work appropriately in that situation. If we see it from a different perspective, this piece of work would be perfect for the beginner readers (for poetry), understanding this was a piece of cake and that quality I admire, most poems are a bit hard to understand, but this- none at all.




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Mon Jan 23, 2023 1:29 am
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chickdoodle wrote a review...



oh gosh, a poem like this is so touching. it hits close to home, "I have to remember you for longer than I knew you." it's a stab in the heart really. it hurts to know that so much time has passed since you died and now the amount of time i've known you is less than the years that you were gone.

"i miss you." is a such a simple phrase but with context of everything it just nails it. i feel even when a poem has a rhyme a simple common phrase that holds a lot of weight changes the composition of the story. really beautiful.

i hope you continue to find peace and happiness. beautiful poem!

- chicken




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Sun Jan 22, 2023 7:50 pm
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HalfheartedAmateur wrote a review...



Title - "You are Home to me"
Whether or not you did this intentionally or on accident, I think it was clever and beautiful of you to only capitalize "You" and "Home" in the title since it emphasizes how meaningful and significant this person is to you. If someone told me that I was their home, that would instantly melt my heart because that is one of the best compliments one could ever receive from a loved one or someone you impacted dearly. I would honestly cry if someone told me this because home is such an important place to people in general and I know that home isn't strictly a place - it can absolutely be a person. I love this title and it tells me this poem will be touching.

Interpretations/Commentaries:
Oh, yeah. This poem hurt. It cut to my core, hit a bit too close to home, struck a nerve, took my breath away and made my mouth drop. People are so precious, especially those who you care about and love. They must be cherished and appreciated; people need to know that they are wanted and needed as well as cared about and loved. We should always and forever treasure the people we truly care about and love as well as respect, admire, and adore. Being home to someone is something to be proud of. When that home of yours dies - that grief is so sorrowful because they represented your home and now your home is gone. Certainly, you can find another home, but nobody will replace or be as beloved as that home. It's true that "this type of pain never truly disappears." Ugh, this poem pulls at my heart and urges me to bawl my soul out because despite the simplicity of it and the fairly obvious message of this poem, it's still deep and holds a strong meaning to those who have experienced a loss so heartbreakingly painful. Because home as a person is more special to others than the actual home/house they live in and to those that, that's like losing a part of yourself - you're hollow/empty, lost/without that safety and love that person gave you. I definitely love this poem.

Review:
Beautifully written, well done. Kudos to you for writing this piece of written work.




Empires says...


Thank you %u2665%uFE0F



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Sun Jan 22, 2023 4:59 am
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thatlesbian says...



I feel like this poem was really good. It definitely has emotion in it. I'm not too good at describing what I like about things but I most definitely enjoyed this poem. Keep up the great work!!




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Sat Jan 21, 2023 11:09 pm
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Dossereana wrote a review...



Hi @Empires I'm here to do a very short review on your poem. I'm going to say I really enjoyed readying it and I'm interested to see what other poems you have.

You were a breath a fresh air

A light

A hope

A smile


I really like how you started the poem, it gave my a good sense of how the person really felt when this loved one was still around. I also feel the realness behind this, because I know that sometimes you just meet some people who have this type of nice vibe that you want to be around, and sometimes when your without it you feel lost.
Only thing I will say though about the first line is I don't really like that it flows very well, the a is in bold because I think that's the word that needs to be changed, instead of the line sounding like to lines I feel like you should combine them into one line so the a is of instead.

Until we meet again,

I miss you.


Again it's the same with this line, except I feel like a word is missing for the last line of the poem, I feel like it's a separate line from the rest of the poem and it needs to be linked to the line before that some how is an extension to the already existing I. the only word that I feel you need to put in is I'll.

Suggestions

You were a breath of fresh air


Until we meet again,

I'll miss you.


Here is my suggestions so you can see what it sounds like instead of having to imagine it.
I hope this helps if not I'm really sorry, I haven't reviewed much in awhile and I may be a bit rusty. So if I was being harsh I'm really sorry that was not my intention, I really did in joy this and I hope to read more of your poems, keep up the great work.

I hope you have a great day/night witch ever side of the world your on.

@Dossereana Flying Over The Green Room And Spreading Shards Of Encouragement




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Sat Jan 21, 2023 4:00 pm
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Thediffident wrote a review...



This was such a heartwarming read. Everyone has a person who makes them feel like home even when they're not in their life anymore. Reading this piece reminded me of them and put a smile on my face. The ending was emotional but truly phenomenal. I'm sure this piece meant a lot to you and the way you expressed your emotions here is amazing. Not many poets are capable of doing that. Kudos to you!
Please feel free to reach out if you have any questions about this review or would like another one. Love, Andy




Empires says...


Thank you, appreciate it




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