Nothing is nothing
Without that truest friend
She who listens always
He who happily lends a hand
Nothing is nothing
Those that support your shoulders
Who give you their ears
Who follow with the purest of hearts
You are and always will be
A chain of life
Going between friends
Connecting them through the darkest of times
Anything is anything
With you at my side
With your ray of light:
The hope to fight.
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138,266 Literary Works • 672,093 Reviews
What do we have here? A complete masterpiece! Just too perfect.
It is my second time I am gonna review your poetry and believe me, I am in love with your poems.
One thing I don't really see in poems nowadays, on YWS, is the well structure of it. I really wish the newcomers should take some time to read/see your poems and learn how to edit their poem properly.
And just one thing, which I personally felt, you lack in this poem is the use of punctuation! Why is that? Just two of them in the entire poem! You should try using more of them. It would make it easier for you, as well as for the reader, to understand better.
Other than that, it would be my stupidity to talk more on this really well written and amazing poem of yours. I wish I could write like you! It is really awesome.
Keep writing. You are just perfect!
this was an amazing poem, although, i didn't understand some of it. For example, you rhymed, the didn't, then you did again. What was the point of that?
I liked how you said.
"She who listens always.
He who happily lends a hand."
I would've done that more though, i feel like that made the poem stronger.
AWESOME JOB THOUGH!! EMAIL ME ON THIS SITE SOME OF YOUR OTHER POEMS!!
haha ok!
Howdy Cynder!
And they're good at tickle fights.
Another featured work, wow! Look at that impressive set of poems you have there on the left column... Like I've said before, you could publish your own poem book of your "truths;" that would be really neat!
I love this poem especially, and as Whosabell said, it makes you happy to read it. You were able to use light and dark imagery, which was also really good for the whole theme. It's true: friends like you are like rays of sunshine and comfort in the midst of stress and other problems.
I loved the final two lines, where you saved the rhyming for the very end, but for some reason I think that it would flow better if each of those lines consisted of five syllables, not five then four.
Great job! And I love your new avatar too!
Thanks! I will keep that in my mind, as I told @Wolfare1 I will continue to improve it:) That means a lot, my bff. I think you're the ray though, not me. You are my hope, not the other way around.
*blushes* Daaaaaww, my bff you're too kind, really.... I think friends are rays of sunshine to each other.
Well, I can't argue with that.
Hmm, this poem makes me very happy. It reminds me of my friends that I had at my old school. and with that I say thank you.
I love that this could portrays that this person is
"You are and always will be
A chain of life
Going between persons"
That makes me think about that maybe you're in love and this person is the only one who is holding you to life, like your in love and you are using this person as a life source. (Also made me think of twilight weirdly) and I also love the last line that says " With your ray of light:The hope to fight."
I'll keep that in mind
Anywho I love it, but I still don't get it.
Is it about a friend? Or a love?
well, i would say friend.. (references the title) but you never know...
Hmm, this poem makes me very happy. It reminds me of my friends that I had at my old school. and with that I say thank you.
I love that this could portrays that this person is
"You are and always will be
A chain of life
Going between persons"
That makes me think about that maybe you're in love and this person is the only one who is holding you to life, like your in love and you are using this person as a life source. (Also made me think of twilight weirdly) and I also love the last line that says " With your ray of light:The hope to fight."
I'll keep that in mind
Anywho I love it, but I still don't get it.
Is it about a friend? Or a love?
This is very true. I had a true friend, but she moved far away, so I lost in touch with her. Other than tat this a very good detailed poem of friendship. I can't say anything bad about it.
You know, if you look at it closely, the shape of your poem resembles a lamp.
I see that and a snowman
Hey, Cynder!
I'm going to attempt to be helpful again, because I saw this and was curious because of your last poem. Let's get started shall we?
So, I'll probably just end up going through this a couple lines at a time and hopefully interpret this in the intended way. Starting off, the repetition of 'nothing is nothing', but then changing at the end, I don't quite see what it's supposed to be showing.
"Nothing is nothing without a true friend" is your first two lines scrunched up next to one another, and it doesn't make very much sense. It almost seems like you're telling us that unless you have a true friend, nothing in this entire world is nothing, or worthless. The message doesn't really seem to shine through, because I'm more confused than anything.
Moving on from here, I did like the flow the two sentences had and a nice rhythm to go with it and read, but the third line didn't go along with it, jumping out of the short pattern. It really threw me for a loop with the word 'always' being stuck into there, because one, it feels awkwardly phrased (instead of saying always listens) and two, the flow. Perhaps try playing around with it more, the next two lines, so they fly through with one another like the first two.
Going through, the rest sort of loosely hangs together, but the best part of it has to be the part with the chain of life. Something that I've been struggling with personally is enjambment, and those four lines really connected together with that and its probably the best sounding of all the poems. And the end picks up the nice rhythm again.
The last line kind of confuses me some. What is meant by the hope to fight? It comes out of the blue some, without much else to it. Perhaps add something else to cushion that abruptness? Those two may have the rhythm to them, but their ideas don't connect as well.
Anyways, the message here of friendship and standing by each other's side is very nice and it's a pretty good poem, to my standards. I quite enjoyed reading it, just perhaps play with the wording some more and read it our loud word for word, to see how it feels on the tongue versus how you think it should read.
Keep on Writing,
~Wolfare~
Haha, thanks @Wolfare1 . I'm not sure how much of your review I agree with, however the main point stands out to me--that I can always improve. Thanks:)
Haha, take from it what you want xD No one ever said you had to listen to me (sorry, I tried my best
).
I honestly loved this. The wording seemed just right, and I thought it was so touching because this is friendship bound in several stanzas. You seemingly summed up friendship in a poem, and when people have the ability to do that- sum up powerful things in life in a single piece of work- it tells me how good of a writer they are. Even at such a young age you carry this gift, and as you can see, it's not being noticed like it should be. But being on this website is good, because after awhile, people will start to help you understand the gift that you have, and they'll help you make it better.
Anyways, sorry for rambling. Back to the poem:
You've portrayed friendship as something special, something that's of value to somebody who cares for another- and that's what it's supposed to be seen as.
I personally enjoyed this part the most:
"Who follow with the purest of hearts
You are and always will be
A chain of life"
It was nice that you compared a friend to 'a chain of life', because that's what friends are, right? True friends, that is. I might not be making sense right now, but I'm trying, so don't be too hard on me, okay?
I just really enjoyed everything about this, and there isn't anything that I would change about it.
Keep doing what you're doing! <3
You made perfect sense. Thanks for the support:)