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E - Everyone

Another Truth: Hope

by Cynder


Strong and shining,

Only ever tainted by inner darkness.

Always a reminder

That there will always

Always be hope.

Hope-

That which

Everyone holds dear;

That is needed once in a while

Or every day, with every breath,

Depends on you.

A bright shine

Something to fight for

To allow the heart to breathe.

Even when it seems there is none to be found

Believe in yourself

And there's another breath 

To pump your heart. 

No matter the manner of darkness

No matter the feeling of living dead

The feeling of a lone heart beating without reason;

You will survive.

One thing that can never be taken away

Not unless you give up

You'll be guided by it always.

During the darkest of times

Remember it--

And it will remember you.

___A Light


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53 Reviews


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Reviews: 53

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Sun Sep 07, 2014 11:14 pm
Cynder says...



WOW! Everyone thank you! I appreciate all your comments and I hope I can put your advice to good use. Ha, hope. :) Corny I know, but my point still stands. Thanks again everyone.




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223 Reviews


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Sun Jun 29, 2014 11:24 pm
Kelpies wrote a review...



I love it! And this really spoke to me because I believed that all hope for my team on review day was gone, even though I was still reviewing, I just did it because I couldn't stop. This gave me hope again, the hope that we still might pull through. Hope is one of the greatest gifts you can give someone, even if it's only for a day. I thank you for that. Though your team still has a better chance of winning!

~Kelpies




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16 Reviews


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Reviews: 16

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Fri Jun 27, 2014 3:15 pm
yadanialler wrote a review...



hi there,i'm here for a review.
first of all i wanna say thank you for your hard work.
i liked this poem very much but my favorite lines were:
"Something to fight for

For the heart to swell with"
and:
"During the darkest of times

Remember it

And it will remember you.

~A Light"
keep writting and thank you c:




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130 Reviews


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Fri Jun 27, 2014 12:19 am
Em101cats wrote a review...



Hi there, it's Em101cats here to review!


What a lovely poem you have! It flowed nicely and was poetic.


It is
One thing that can never be taken away


You can feel free to keep it the way it is, because I like it this way although it sounds a bit choppy and didn't flow well to me as two lines.


Everyone needs once in a while
Or a lot more
Depends on you.


Maybe this is just me and my jacked-up brain, but this didn't make much sense and I think you might find it better to change these lines to sound better. You can leave it the way it is though.


The last line was beautiful, and although the ~ was unneeded I loved it there.

Keep up the great writing! :D
~Em101cats~




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225 Reviews


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Reviews: 225

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Thu Jun 26, 2014 10:06 pm
dogsrule5 wrote a review...



Hi! Dogsrule5 here for a review.

I thought this poem was beautiful and poetic. It was really good. I really liked it.

It is true. Everyone needs hope sometimes, and I think everyone needs a lot of hope once in a while, but yeah. So true!!! :D

Anyway. Let's get to the mistakes, and nitpicks.
First mistake/nitpick.

1.

It is
Okay, you should put a period after this sentence, or two words.

2.
One thing that can never be taken away
Not unless you give it up
You'll be guided by it always
During the darkest of times
Remember it
And it will remember you.


Okay after every sentence, if I am correct you need a comma, except for And it will remember you, and During the darkest of times. After when you say during of darkest times, you should put a period, if I am correct, and then say remember it. Or you need a comma, or nothing. I don't know witch it is, so please don't be mad, if I am incorrect. Because trust me, I make a lot of mistakes.

Well that is really the only mistakes/nitpicks.

Next we will see how your grammar, spelling, and punctuation was.

Grammar: Your grammar, was good, and I didn't see any grammar mistakes.
Spelling: I didn't see any spelling mistakes, either.
Punctuation: I did see some mistakes, in punctuation, and I told you them in the mistakes/nitpicks section of my review.

Overall those mistake, and stuff, I really liked your poem, and I can't pick a favorite part, but only because all of the parts are my favorite. Good job!!

Keep up the good writing.
Love,
Dogsrule5




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Thu Jun 26, 2014 8:59 pm
ChipsMcCoy wrote a review...



Hey, Chips here with a review.

This is a lovely poem you have here. It was nice to see the positive connotations and the encouraging message you brought.

"Strong and shining

Never tainted by darkness

Always a reminder

That there's always hope."

Here, I liked how you somewhat described what hope is using vivid imagery rather than just coming out and stating "hope", which was very poetic so good job on that. Though i think you do need some punctuation, like adding some periods e.g. commas. A comma can be put next to the word, "reminder", so the reader can pause.

"Everyone needs once in a while

Or a lot more

Depends on you."

Here, I can see what you meant but it was written although simply, it seemed not to flow well together with the wording, in my opinion.

"For the heart to swell with"

Here, I didn't think the word, "swell", fit too well. It seemed like discomfort rather than ease. So perhaps a different word.

Overall this was a really sweet poem. Hope this review helped. Keep writing!

--Chips




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Thu Jun 26, 2014 8:46 pm
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Kanome wrote a review...



Hello, Cynder.
Kanome here with a review for you.

I really love this poem.
It talks about Hope in a way that I never heard of before.
I also love your wording in this poem.
It's unique to me.

My favorite line:
"You'll be guided by it always
During the darkest of times
Remember it
And it will remember you."

Because this seems like the main thing about the poem. You'll be guided by a light, by hope. That's what I think.
I don't see any grammar or content errors in this poem.
SO my only suggestion to you is...
Keep up the great work. I can't wait to read more of your works c:





The heavens laugh with you in your jubilee; my heart is at your festival.
— William Shakespeare