Love Like a Couch
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140,236 Literary Works • 673,049 Reviews
Hey Cspr! Happy Review day
I really enjoyed this poem. I've never really thought of love as being like a couch, but I think that it is the unusualness of this relationship that makes the poem so great. It is amazing how many similarities you made between them. When I saw the name of this poem I thought it would be a good laugh, but this is a truly deep, expressive poem.
The one point that I would like to make, and please don't hate me for this, is that you need some work on grammar for this piece. You used no punctuation whatsoever for this poem, and despite how annoying punctuation is, I think the use of it could greatly improve this poem.
Other then that I don't really have any other points to make. I love the way you end it. I completely agree on all of your views on love... and on couches. I have never really given it much thought, but love does do so much for people but they are so ignorant of it.
This is an amazing poem that I enjoyed reading very much! Great job and keep up the amazing work!
Thank you for your review. I'm glad you liked it.
I'll have to think about adding punctuation. You're right, it would be probably better off with it. I was just reading poetry that didn't have it in there when I wrote this. So, yes. When I revise, I'll take that into account. Thanks for the suggestion.
I have similar views on this to krose's, I actually do feel like Ive' been mean to my couch and have never appreciated it's uh comfort?You have done a great job and and when you write it it really makes love and couches seem very similar.There is nothing I can recommend except keep up the good work!sincerely,sockmonkey.
Hi Cspr!
I first want to comment, that I love reading poetry. It makes me-- happy.
This one, makes me feel like I've been mean to my couch!
Anyhow, I think it's information is good, and I love where it says
"Ignorant of what it has done for them" because truly, we never think of our couches as friendly friends.... I mean, you really have imagination to think that up!
You have a part where it says for sadness and anger, but maybe what's missing is to say that there can be reunions, and happiness there too.... just to make it more "happy".
Overall, I love it. Great imagination, and adjectives.
KRose
Wow, there has been a lot of poetry today! Well, I just want to say, it's a cool analogy and at the beginning I totally saw what you were saying...but after a few more sentences it just got a little confusing. I got your intention but I really believe you can have a better description in different words and get your meaning across better than how it is now. With that being said, everyone has a different view in poetry and this just might not be my cup of tea so to speak. Now I really want some tea....
I really did like it.
That aside, I did like it. Keep writing and always leave some time in between you write something and when you have to edit it. It always helps your emotions not to have to immediately tear apart your work. Keep writing
Haha, yeah. I'm in a writing workshop and been writing a lot recently, then I suddenly realized I hadn't posted any of it. At all. So I may have spammed the poetry section. Oops.
Thanks again for checking my work out. This one wasn't my favorite of the poems I've written recently. Admittedly, I was following a format--going from a prompt and another poem--but I guess I could change things now. I might give it a bit of time, though, as you suggested.
Thanks for the concrit, anyway. I'll try and make things clearer if I decide this poem is good enough to revise...
I like this!
I would just try to be more specific where you can be.
For example, after you say it is a place for sadness and anger, maybe mention something about happiness and joy before you say everything under the sun.
Thanks for the suggestions. One of my workshop instructors said I should be more blatant, more visual, fewer emotion words/etc., so I'll take in consideration for changing those lines/other lines to make it more specific.