Just a bit of a mess really. I'm not really expecting any responses for it, but maybe a bit of critique would be nice.
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140,859 Literary Works • 673,694 Reviews
I love your theme. It's very interesting. Lilymoore got both of my nitpicks. Like I saaid I love your theme.
Hey there Crimsona! I’m Lily! Nice to meet you!
So, all in all, I really like this poem. It feels very wild and disheveled but with the theme, it works very well. Two things, though, did kind of bother me.
This stanza is really reinforcing the point you’re trying to make, I understand that, but I think it might be too long of a line to repeat. It just feels bulky and it’s probably a bit unneeded.
The bulky feel factors into this stanza too. It went poetic all though the poem but then you get to the stanza and it’s heavy and feels a bit like prose. That, though, could be fixed with breaking up the lines a bit.
The imagery, too, I really liked, especially the idea of a girl running around with tights on her head. Very odd but it makes the reader curious. Much cool!
If you have any questions, you can leave me a message on my wall or through PM.
~lilymoore
I like this poem because it is true. There are some things in life we will just never understand. Is that what the poem was about because that's what I got. Great job! I actually really liked this!