So, thought I'd get into the Christmassy spirit and write a poem! Do please tell me what you think.
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139,346 Literary Works • 672,539 Reviews
I agree
This was a very good poem! In the last couple of stanzas it got a little depressing though(unless I am deciphering it wrong), I thought it would have a more cheerful message to it. Over all it was very nice, and the imagery was very vivid. Nice job!!
Keep writing
-Rayne
Hey! I'm Grin, and I shall be your reviewer for today.
Okay, I like this. It definitely has a Christmassy feel to it, and there is some lovely imagery to work with, but there are a few things that need a bit of work:
The rhyming and line length feel a little forced. This happens quite often in poetry, I've noticed, and it's a shame, because it really limits a good poem. Blank verse is usually best - don't worry about rhyme or rhythm, just put those images into words. Poetry is about expressing emotion and imagery, and it's so much easier and more effective if there's no feeling of restriction, which seems to cause a problem in most poetic cases. This way, when you have a line that doesn't quite fit, as you do with one or two lines here, it doesn't matter so much.
I'm sorry I can't say more to help! But I hope I've been helpful to some extent.
~Grin