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War of Dawn - Chapter 18

Chapter 18: Bond of Friendship

After spending two hours fishing with Ryouma in Satsuma – successfully catching a grand total of one fish – Hilda returned to Valarheim feeling so revitalized that she spent the rest of the afternoon training with gusto. Ryouma’s teachings on relaxing the mind even proved very handy in helping her spellcasting. A nice added bonus to it all.

Owen kept hard at work alongside her but actually left at about three in the afternoon – strangely early, especially considering they hadn’t received any assignment. When she called him on it, he explained that some of their comrades in Outpost #12 told people about his cooking, then those people told others. Eventually, it got to Greta’s ears. She was curious enough to request him for a sampling and, long story short, Owen now has her permission to play Head Chef whenever he’s the time and inclination to do so. So, he figured he’d do something for today’s dinner.

News of it all spread like wildfire across Valarheim and, at night, a very confused atmosphere hangs above the dining hall. This rare shift in command even convinced most of the generals to come see what all the fuss was about.

The usual hubbub is gone, replaced with confused whispers across all the wide tables. As soon as Owen steps out the kitchen alongside Greta, commanding the waiting staff, the whispers fade to muted shock. To see someone other than her running things was unthinkable. On the other side of the spectrum, however, Greta herself seems quite chipper. Her normally dead-serious expression gone in favor of a wide smile as she exchanges booming laughs with Owen.

I guess she really appreciates being hands-off for a night, Hilda thinks, one of the few people around not gaping at this sight.

Even Ryouma, Ragnar and Alexandra stand wide-eyed, as if they are witnessing the very Altr descending upon the land. Only Vanessa – already familiar with Owen’s expertise – seems calm, though she does almost choke on her wine upon seeing Greta laugh. Regardless, whatever confusion the Scions may be feeling melts away as they start taking bites of the prepared food, exhilarated gasps quickly fill the dining hall.

“Oh, my goodness…!” Alexandra exclaims. “This is marvelous!”

Ragnar nods, his mouth already stuffed full of steak. “Hear, hear! Even better than your royal chef, Lexa!”

“And he’s even got his hands on such fine drinks,” Ryouma adds, raising a goblet of wine. “A man after my own heart, that one! Hahaha!”

Vanessa gives his a hearty toast before throwing composure to the wind and grabbing an enormous drumstick. “How long has it been since we patrolled? I’ve half a mind to assign myself to whatever outpost you kids go to next, Hilda. I hear he was king of #12 after only a few dinners!”

“I’d say it felt more like a cult,” Hilda, sitting next to her, laughs as she sips from her own goblet – Owen made sure hers received grape juice, though. “Are you big time generals subscribing to the Church of Owen, too? What happened to that ‘Ascended Scions can be sustained just by the flow of Prana’ business?”

“Oho, I could make it all the way to Scion Avatar and I’d still come on over for this stuff.” Ragnar waves his fork at her. “Eliza ain’t got a clue of what she’s missing out on!”

Indeed, despite all other generals being present, the elusive commandant is nowhere to be seen. Hilda was actually a bit disappointed when she realized that, having somewhat hoped to see how she’s like beyond her office. “The boss lady really never stops, huh?”

Alexandra is quick to answer with a knowing huff and the resigned smile. “We’ve all been here for many decades now and I don’t think we’ve ever seen her do so.”

“Always in that office, on the field or training folks. Being the commandant is very busy work… Well, at her age, she’s already plenty used to it,” Vanessa adds, struggling to eat and talk at the same time .

Hilda’s curiosity flares up as she hears this, her brow frowning as she inches closer to Vanessa. “In that same office? She’s been the boss since before you guys even joined?”

“Since a lot longer, actually,” Ryouma chuckles. “I wasn’t exaggerating when I first said she has the most experience out of us all – she is the oldest member of our Corps, well over a hundred years old.”

Before this started, Hilda would’ve been blown away by hearing about someone who’s lived so long. That number loses impact among the Scions, however. As she’s learned, their constant connection to the flow of Prana extends their life span. Merely being a Novitiate already makes one capable of living up to about a hundred and thirty years – though the Valnr often end those lives much sooner. Ascended Scions can go up to two hundred, though passing two centuries fighting those monsters seems like quite the harsh trade-off to her.

“And is that mask a new thing or did she always have it? Better yet, have any of you seen her face?” Hilda asks, holding her breath as she waits their answer.

“Ah, the traditional question of Novitiates and High Scions,” Alexandra quips.

“Yeah, she’s always worn it and the four of us were just as curious when we were your age,” Ragnar snickers, poking his sister with his elbow.

Hilda’s eyes widen as she pulls herself even closer, begging for details. “And…?!”

“We have seen her face,” Ryouma nods and waves for her to calm down, “but it is not our place to put the scars on it to words. Let’s just say that her long life has come with many hardships.”

“Oh, come on, give me something.” Hilda pouts at them. “I swear I won’t tell anyone.”

Vanessa pokes her right in the forehead and pushes Hilda back onto her seat. “While we swore that we wouldn’t go yacking about her life, girl. Were Paula here, you can bet she’d be giving you lip for gossiping.”

“Probably… Speaking of, where is she?”

Hilda expected Paula to be here for this but she is nowhere to be seen around the dining hall. Odd, as she’s been a fan of Owen’s cooking since Outpost #12 – she probably wouldn’t miss this if she could help it.

“Last I checked, she’d left Lady Eliza’s office and straight out the Keep,” Ragnar says.

“Out? Did she get a mission or something?” Hilda asks, frowning with surprise.

“Hmm, no,” Ryouma shakes his head while already refilling his goblet. “It was time for another session of Julius’ training, you see. That’s only outside, away from prying eyes.”

An impressed, albeit concerned smile breaks across Alexandra’s lips. “That sweet girl has had it very rough recently.”

Hilda knows what she’s talking about. Paula’s training has always taken much of her time but she’s doubled down on it after the battle at Bathurst. Add that on top of her usual job as Eliza’s assistant and the added workload has made it so she and Hilda have seldom seen each other lately. She offered to help her train but Paula turned her down – it had to be with this “Julius” fellow. Why? As always, she wouldn’t say. Still, enough is enough.

“Well, guess I gotta do something about that,” Hilda huffs and picks up a golden tray that was left at their table. “I’m gonna bring her some of this. You know where she’s at?”

And, right then, the generals all get that easily-recognizable look. Just the one Paula gives her every now and then. Ragnar raises his eyebrows in doubt, still munching away at so much food, Vanessa shrugs to Ryouma who turns to Alexandra. He looks as though he wants to make a request and she understands it without a single spoken word.

Alexandra exhales sharply, looking a bit doubtful, but nods in confirmation. “We can’t tell you the location but, perhaps, we may be able to get you there. Hold on, I’ll ask Eliza.”

Rising off her chair, she steps out to a corner of the dining hall and pulls out a dark blue Comm. Crystal over to hear ear. Hilda can’t hear what’s being said over the loud conversations taking place across the room but Alexandra seems to be in a good mood. Pacing back and forth, she gestures calmly as she argues Hilda’s case with the commandant.

Yow… How can anyone be so relaxed when talking to the boss? Hilda wonders, noting how friendly the relationship between the generals and Eliza is. Quite different from the Novitiates and High Scions, all who share an even mix of respect and fear for her. Maybe that’s the sort of thing that mellows out with time but, so far, Hilda’s still waiting to see the “Busshin” part out of Ryouma’s Kimenbusshin description. One thing she does wonder now is, if Ryouma and Vanessa are already so very powerful in their late forties, how strong would Eliza be being over a hundred years old?

That’s a question for another time, though, as Alexandra comes back over and tosses the Comm. Crystal over to Hilda.

“She’s agreed to let you see Paula. Once there, though, you’ll have to convince Julius to stop his training… And with that in mind, why don’t you take that salmon with you?” Alexandra points out a plate with a sautéed fillet. The other generals chuckle at her suggestion but nod in approval.

Hilda doesn’t understand why, though. “How come? I don’t think she likes fish a whole lot.”

“Trust me on this one. It’ll help you,” she answers with a knowing smile.

“Alright, if you say so.” Hilda shrugs in confusion and does as she says, putting the plate onto her tray. “Now I just need to get some other dishes for Paula… Excuse me, generals.”

The generals answer Hilda’s salute with friendly waves and off she goes, making her way about the bustling dining hall in search of whatever unclaimed pieces of food she can find. Easier said than done, as Owen’s cooking is quite the hit. Dozens of Scions are prowling the large wooden tables in search of more, too. Hilda starts picking up what she can, dodging left and right between the moving crowd while balancing Paula’s dishes atop her tray.

Good to see I haven’t lost my touch, she thinks, giving herself a pat on the back. The only thing missing to complete this wave of nostalgia would be to have Edda also working the kitchen. She’d probably enjoy some friendly competition with Owen and people would certainly be very eager to play judge.

Once she’s satisfied with the food she’s found, Hilda carefully inches over to a calm corner of the hall and takes out Alexandra’s crystal.

Clearing up her throat and breathing deep, she speaks into it and tries her best to stay calm. “L-Lady Eliza? Can I ask where I can find Paula, then? I have her food ready… ma’am!”

Hilda stays frozen in place, waiting for an answer but it doesn’t come. Did she change her mind? Or maybe she’s supposed to stop by her office and ask in person? Hilda starts wondering what she should do but only barely has time to start fretting. The ground at her feet swirls like it’s made of liquid and, right then, one of Eliza’s portals of darkness opens up and drags her away in a bright flash.

Once more she’s blinded and a bit disoriented, making Hilda almost drop her tray of food – thankfully, she grabs it in time. A small, cold breeze runs about her face, indicating that she’s been taken outside. As her eyesight comes back, Hilda takes a look around and finds herself in a wide snow-white plain, wholly encircled by chains of mountains whose peaks rise high above the clouds. There isn’t anything for as far as the eye can see – the plain is completely flat and there aren’t even plants laid about it, the only lighting coming from the moon above. There are no smells whatsoever and the only sound comes from the wind that travels unopposed. The whole place has this otherworldly feel to it, like its creator decided to stop working after crafting just the land.

As she turns around to scout the area, one thing catches her eye: a silhouette, not too far away, surrounded by blue lights.

I really hope that’s her… Hilda thinks as she moves towards it. If it isn’t, that means her request might have annoyed Eliza and she moved her here as punishment. Gods help her, in that case, because she has no idea where she is.

Stepping closer, the silhouette grows clearer and clearer until Hilda spots a young girl with two quills holding her hair in a bun. It is Paula, thankfully. The blue lights that surround her, though, aren’t lights at all but dozens of small, floating spikes of ice.

Spinning around her, they maintain an equal distance before starting to attack at random. One by one, they move in from the front, the sides, from behind, as Paula dodges and knocks them away with her halberd. As their number diminishes, the last five move in all at once. Paula jumps high to avoid them and, upon immediate descent, conjures a Burst glyph into the ground. The elemental explosion sends ripples of the dark elemental across the floor and consumes the last spikes.

Hilda whistles, impressed. “Wow, that was really good!”

“Hilda?!” Paula turns around with a gasp, her face bearing an unusually surprised look. “What are you doing here? How did you find this place?”

Hilda answers with a friendly nod, displaying the tray of food she carries. “Didn’t you hear that Owen was cooking tonight? I figured you’d want some, so I asked Lady Eliza if she couldn’t let me see you.”

Paula dries the sweat off her brow, her eyebrows rising in surprise. “Oh, that’s so nice of you… I’ve just had so much to do that I couldn’t even set aside time for it.”

“Yeah, I know how that is,” Hilda says, beckoning her over. “Why don’t you take a few, though? You can choose from any of these!”

Paula looks at the food with hunger in her eyes. Hilda made sure to bring some of her favorites: chicken breast, a bowl of panzanella, an omelette… Still, Paula clears her throat, closes her gaping mouth and looks back at her with a dejected expression.

“I’m so thankful, Hilda, but… I’m in the middle of training now. I can’t well ask Lord Julius to stop and—” she says, though is interrupted by her grumbling stomach.

As Paula blushes furiously, Hilda huffs and places her free hand on her hip. “Your body disagrees, I think. Where’s this Julius, then? I’ll tell him what for.”

Paula bites her lip with worry; sighing, she points behind Hilda. As she turns around, however, no one is around. She scopes the nearby area and the sky but, still, there is nothing here besides the two of them. “What? I don’t see anyone…”

“Look down,” says a robust, albeit relaxed, male voice.

Hilda does as he says and sees… a cat sitting right before her. A Maine Coon about forty centimeters tall, sporting a coat of chocolate brown, silky and long fur, with a white patch in his chest. A small Alterium band wraps around his front left paw. He stares intently at her with his copper-colored eyes, as his bushy tail swerves across the snowy ground.

“…Is your Julius a ventriloquist?” Hilda asks, staring in disbelief.

“No, this is actually me,” the cat huffs. “Julius Mynatt, High Scion of Holfores.”

He doesn’t move his mouth to speak, though his voice echoes from his tiny frame. Hilda ignores him and, mouth agape and eyebrows frowned with shock, turns to Paula as if begging for her to tell that she hasn’t gone insane. Paula quickly nods in confirmation of it all.

“This Scion is… a cat…” Hilda speaks, trying to convince herself.

Julius waves his paw dismissively. “A shape-shifter, actually. But you said you wanted to ‘tell me what for’? Let’s hear it.”

“Um… Y-yeah…” Hilda shakes her head and tries putting her thoughts in order. “Listen… I- I can tell that Paula, Josette and Amit have something different going on but she also has her work with the boss lady. This past month and half, I’ve only seen her stop for a few minutes before getting back at it.”

Julius cocks his head at her. “Get to the point, kid.”

“My point is I want you to let her take a breather for an hour. Let her eat, hang out with her friends and then you pull her back in.” Hilda places the tray with food on the ground. “I was told to bring a salmon along… Guess it’s for you.”

Indeed, Julius does a quick lick of his lips as he sees the fillet. Noticing this, Hilda bears a playful smile and decides to press the advantage. “I’m sure you heard that Owen’s cooking tonight, so you can bet this’ll be very tasty. Why don’t you take it and let us be?”

Julius’ ears and tail perk up as he looks back and forth between the food and Hilda, weighing his options. Following some small grumbling, he answers. “No, sorry; I can live without that fish but Paula needs the training. She’ll keep going.”

“Alright, you listen here, pussycat—” Hilda frowns and squats in front of Julius to get in his face. He interrupts her, however, by raising his paw right at her.

“No, you listen. Paula’s situation – ours, really – isn’t like anything you, regular Novitiates, have to deal with. You don’t get to have a say on this,” Julius speaks, his voice switching to a much harsher tone.

Still, Hilda stands firm and stares right back at him. “Give me some info on what all that is, then. Is it why she had to learn to cast that crazy spell as a Novitiate and it did a number on her? I’m not letting this go until you give me a reason.”

“That’s none of your beeswax,” Julius answers as he pushes her away. “Still… I reckon I could give you a small idea.”

“What do you mean?”

“We’ll do a bit of sparring – first to five clean hits – and we’ll see if I can’t teach you some. If I win, I’ll be taking that salmon and you’ll be taking a hike; you win and I’ll give Paula that hour.” Julius stands up and starts strutting back, confidence in every step.

Hilda cracks her knuckles and nods in agreement. Before she can follow him, however, Paula rushes over and grabs her arm, her face contorted with worry. “What in blazes are you doing?!”

“I’m going to give kitty there more than he bargained for and get him to let you come eat with us. Relax.” Hilda pats her on the shoulder.

“But I need this training, Hilda! I’ve a duty to fulfill that get much stronger than I am right now and, more importantly, that ‘kitty’ will destroy you!” Paula gesticulates frantically, trying to stop her from going after Julius.

“But you also have friends who want to spend time with you again. And I’ve done my share of training since Bathurst – I won’t go down easy. Just watch,” Hilda says, punctuating it all with a smile.

“But Julius is—”

Paula doesn’t get to finish, as Julius moves his paw and conjures a spike of ice to strike by her feet. “Easy, Paula – remember the rules. And I promise I won’t hurt her much.”

“Confident little bugger, aren’t you?” Hilda spits as she gets in position and draws her sword. “Ready when you are.”

Julius isn’t bothered, yawning before answering her. “I like to think that I just see things for what they are. Fair warning, though: for each time where I would’ve killed you, things’ll get harder. All for your education, see!”

Without waiting any longer, the Alterium band in Julius’ wrist opens up and stretches out into a whip that floats above his head, the water elemental coursing around it. He waves his paw and beckons Hilda over with a toothy grin.

She doesn’t like that, casting a couple of LightningBolts and dashing right towards him. Julius swats both projectiles aside with his whip. Hilda closes the distance, hoping to make use of that small opening, and swings down onto him. It doesn’t connect, Julius whip stretching out and parrying the blow. He yawns at her once again.

“You little…!” Hilda grunts at him.

Pulling her sword back, Hilda attempts an upward slash. It is parried. Horizontal cuts? Also parried. Thrusts? Julius rolls out the way. Hilda swings at him in every conceivable manner and none find its mark. As she gets progressively annoyed, she decides to surprise him. As his whip moves aside after another parry, Hilda casts a quick Stream spell and sets it right upon him.

A current of electricity strikes right in front, running across the ground and blowing up a large cloud of snow. Hilda can’t see ahead but figures it was a clean hit for her – she didn’t hear him blocking the spell. She steps closer to take a look… and finds only a puddle of water in the ground. Right then, Julius runs in from behind and scratches her.

“Ow!” Hilda yelps, feeling the four cuts opened at the back of her neck.

“And that’s you, dead.” Julius lands in front and pokes her in the shins. “It’s 1x0 to me and you’re in trouble now.”

Trails of blue energy begin wafting about his body and Hilda can feel the power coming from them. Stepping back, she fires off a Wave spell to zone him out. Julius blocks it with a Shield and follows with what Hilda recognizes as the Pillar spell – a single circle and, within, a vertical rectangle. A torrent of water erupts from underneath and, thinking quickly, Hilda conjures a Shield to take the brunt of the hit. It still blasts her skyward and provides an opening for Julius’ whip to wrap around her foot. He yanks it back and slams her straight into the ground.

“You died again. 2x0 to me,” he says, moving right in front of Hilda and placing his paw on her neck.

The trails of blue energy around Julius intensify, surrounding him in a flowing current of blue glow. Hilda’s very annoyed now, jumping back up and charging up as much of the lightning element as she can in her sword.

CHES—”

She isn’t able to finish her attack, as a powerful Wave strikes without warning and sends her back. Julius spins his whip around, gathering the water element, and swings across the air. A mass of water erupts forth, changing into the shape of an axe and flying toward her. Hilda recovers her bearings and grabs the ground. Pulling herself to the front, she dashes towards the water axe and cleaves it in half. Big mistake. The two halves break apart and cover her body in water.

“Got you,” Julius quips as he waves his paw around.

When he does, the water freezes in the blink of an eye, encasing all but Hilda’s head in ice.

“What the— Ow! Ow!” Hilda’s grumbling is interrupted when Julius hops over and scratches her in the face thrice.

“And that makes five, plus three more deaths for you. If I wanted, I could tear you to bits right now,” he says, as his whip swings around and bursts with the water elemental.

The water currents around it join together, involving the whip and transforming into an enormous snake-like form. The water snake wraps around Hilda’s congealed form, its gaping maw hovering around her head and looking ready to bite it off.

As Hilda stares at its long, sharp teeth with fear, unable to do anything to defend herself, Julius jumps right onto the snake’s head. “See how difficult things got? This is why Paula – and Amit and Josette – need all this training.”

“How? Novitiates only fight stuff like Drones and weak Risen, not stuff as powerful as this,” Hilda asks through clenched teeth, looking into his eyes with indignation.

“You don’t know enough to assume stuff like that, kid. Then again, I guess you’re not supposed to know.”

Saying that, Julius hops off, brings his whip back to normal – reverting to the band around his paw – and frees Hilda from the ice. As he saunters over grab his salmon, Paula rushes by him and towards her friend.

“Are you alright?” she answers, frowning with concern.

Hilda nods at her with a dejected sigh and stands back up. “Yeah, I’m fine… My face just stings like hell.”

Paula can see why, as her brow is looking like a checkerboard after Julius’ scratches. Thankfully, it seems like the most wounded thing here is her pride.

“Still, I’m so sorry you went through that for my benefit.” Paula pouts, casting a simple healing spell in her hand and getting to work on her cuts.

Hilda answers with a dry chuckle, waving her off. “Ha… Don’t worry about it. It was my fault for picking a fight with kitty there, I guess.”

“I’m your superior officer, you know,” Julius speaks, his voice muffled by the salmon he happily carries on his mouth. “Are you two just gonna sit there? Your food’s getting cold.”

Hilda shrugs at him, confused. “Wasn’t the deal that I’d have to leave if I lost?”

“I can’t well eat and train Paula at the same time, can I?” he flicks his paw and casts a healing spell of his own, healing Hilda’s cuts in an instant. “You’ve twenty minutes and then it’s back to work.”

As Julius walks away, Hilda’s eyes narrow in displeasure. “What, you changed your mind? Why didn’t you just do that instead of putting me through that?!”

Julius takes a look at her, arms wide open and looking very cross at him, and answers with his toothy grin once again. “You were the one who wanted answers. If anything, now you’ve perspective.”

And with a wag of his tail, Julius conjures a wave of water underneath his feet and lets it carry him away. Hilda just watches him go, with clear annoyance in her eyes, and the best Paula can give her is a sympathetic pat on the back.

“That could have gone a lot worse, you know,” Paula says. “I think he likes you.”

“Psh… Well, I’m a dog person. Come on.”

With this small opening given, Paula wastes no time in rushing right over the food. The well-educated and proper girl checks out for a while, as she devours through every single dish Hilda brought with total abandon. Hilda can only watch in amazement, gaping at her shift in posture. The Litnir miners themselves would’ve probably told her to take it easy. Still, it goes to show how starving she was and Hilda can at least approve that Eliza and Julius saw that she could have used this.

As Paula ends, she punctuates it all with a small burp and finally notices Hilda’s widened eyes staring at her. Her tawny skin turns beet red once more.

“Eheh… Sorry. I lost my manners for a moment,” she laughs with embarrassment.

Hilda shakes her head, bearing a warm smile at her. “Heh, don’t worry about it. You got the right, what with how hard you’ve been working since Bathurst.”

“Well, I had something of an obstacle to overcome; finally managed to do so today, as a matter of fact, with Lady Alexandra’s help,” Paula says.

“Really? Did that happen while I was away?” Hilda asks and Paula nods in confirmation. “Congrats, then! What happens now?”

Paula takes in a deep breath and while she does smile, her firm gaze makes it clear that she isn’t about to slow things down. “Now I keep going as I had, working towards catching up to Amit and Josette.”

“Urgh, those two creeps?” Hilda winces. “Sure you don’t wanna gun for the level of saner folks?”

“Like I said before, they’re the only ones I can compare myself to. But my actual goal isn’t to be like them; it’s just to be powerful enough to fulfill my mission and prove myself to Lady Eliza.”

Hilda can see that the latter is the most important bit to her – Paula’s eyes get this glow whenever she talks about the commandant and one can tell she’d do nearly anything for her. Hilda may never have seen more than Eliza’s tough side but it seems Paula has far deeper insight as her assistant. What kind of woman is she behind that mask? That being said, there’s another answer she is still more interested in unearthing.

Hilda scoots on closer to Paula and lowers her voice to a whisper. “Speaking of that ‘mission’… Can’t you add a little bit more to Julius ‘explanation’? Anything at all, so I’ve an idea of how I can help?”

Paula’s brow twists in a pained frown – it’s not difficult to tell that she doesn’t want to keep these secrets. She looks at Hilda deep in her eyes and lets out a long sigh. She scans the area and Julius isn’t back yet, so she comes in closer.

“…Fine,” she whispers back in a volume so low, it’s as though she’s worried the air will hear them. “I can add a little to what Lord Julius showed you but you must promise to never repeat this to anyone.”

Hilda nods back firmly and Paula continues. “Valnr Wraiths; those are what I’m training to fight against.”

“I never heard of those before.”

“Nor should you, if things are going well,” Paula explains. “They are dangerous but rare creatures, and my brigade is charged with hunting them down as soon as they crop up.”

Hilda’s frown grows deep as she only finds herself with more questions. “Dangerous how?

“I don’t know yet,” Paula shakes her head as her voice takes on a disappointed note. “Only those who have been allowed to join the hunt are privy to that information… and I haven’t. All I know is that we can sense them and are, thus, the best equipped for this work.”

“And when you say your brigade does this, does that mean only Scions of Holfores have this secret mission?” Hilda asks.

She’s met a few other Holfores folks over these months – they’re the largest brigade, tied with Sarfis – and none of them had been as secretive as Paula and her peers. Her question seems to be going a bit too far, however, as Paula immediately purses her lips.

She shakes her head faintly and answers. “Not exactly… but I cannot tell anymore. I mean it.”

Hilda stands a bit disappointed but backs away with what she’s gotten. “Alright, alright; I don’t wanna risk getting you in trouble. But, hey, thanks for sharing that.”

“It was nothing at all, my friend,” Paula says. “Why don’t we move away from these dark subjects? Tell me about your visit to Ryouma’s town – I’ve never been to Japan.”

“Heh, you’re curious?” Hilda chuckles. “Alright, I’ll tell you in exchange for one little thing.”

Paula puts her hands on her hips and gives her a snarky sideway glance. “Oh? Another request?”

“Yeah, just one: promise me that, when Julius isn’t around, you won’t train by yourself and, instead, you’ll spar with me. Any time at all – wake me up if you have to!” Hilda answers with a quick wink, pumping her fists. “I’ll bring everything I have to the table to help you get ready to kick some Wraith ass.”

“Heh… When was the last time we sparred, our first month as Novitiates? I might call at three in the morning, you know. Are you sure?” Paula ponders aloud.

Hilda isn’t deterred and gives her a thumbs up. “Absolutely. I’ll chug a whole mug of coffee if I have to and be good to go.”

“Alright. In that case, I’ll gladly accept your offer.” Paula breaks a bright smile. “Now, with that settled, how was Japan?”

At that, Hilda begins telling Paula everything she can remember: the sights, the smells, the people, the infuriating fish that refused to be hooked and more. Inwardly, however, she ponders the mission Paula’s been given. If these Valnr Wraiths are worthy of such special treatment, then they really must be very powerful. It stands to reason that Paula would drive herself so hard to be able to deal with that kind of enemy… and, of course, to put on a good show for Eliza.

One thing’s for sure, Hilda’s not going to simply sit by and watch. She’s ready and committed to supporting Paula in whatever way she can, just as she was there to help with Owen, to give advice or to simply lend an ear for her to vent. She deserves as much, as Hilda’s best friend in the Corps.

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Megrim
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Megrim wrote a review · Sat Sep 17, 2016 12:26 am

Onto the next chapter! I'm of two minds here. There's a lot to like about this chapter. But, it's also a bit slow/filler-feeling.

I quite like Julius. Maybe I just like that he's a cat. I loved their fight, especially how much he owns Hilda. I'm not entirely sure what his point was, but I had fun with the scene. I liked that Hilda got to talk to Paula and that we got to learn more about Paula's secret mission. I find myself a bit uninterested in all the secretive-ness surrounding that... there's so much "PAULA'S DOING SECRET TRAINING ABOUT SECRET STUFF!" that I don't care too much to be honest. I will be curious to find out what it is, but I'm not over here trying to piece the puzzle together or dying to turn the page to find out.

Is Paula's training spot snowy? I wasn't sure.

Something that I kept wondering about is why they're SO obsessed with the constant training. I think good instructors understand the need for rest and mental and physical breaks. I thought Paula freaking out about an hour off of training felt almost unrealistic (though we DO know that's in her character, so maybe it's ok). I mean, I think I like the general idea, but it's SO over the top I start scratching my head over it.

Something I hadn't thought of until I read the other reviews is that Mea has a point about all the promises that have been made. You're putting a lot of guns on the mantle, and I'm expecting them to be fired. Filler to get us from A to B or to demonstrate one little bit of characterization or something small like that is always a bit disappointing, and not worth the word count. You mentioned on the forums that you're a little over 100k words, and I've just realized--did you mean the finished draft, or is there still more to add to that? Because I wouldn't be at all surprised to learn that you're on track for a crazy high word count, considering everything we've been talking about. Filler scenes like this can REALLY bloat word count without adding enough to the story to be worth it. When it comes time to edit, you might have to get out the battle axe and hack and slash at a lot of your "darlings," as they say.

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Mea
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Mea wrote a review · Fri Jul 08, 2016 2:15 am

Hey! I'm here to review, since you asked me to.

I have mixed feelings about this chapter. I like what it turned out to be - I like how Hilda stands by Paula and wants to help her. I liked the end of the chapter and how it showed that. I also like it when they're just being able to talk for a bit.

However, it was a bit too slowly paced for me, especially considering the small amount of overall progress that was made. I feel like you started revealing some information, but I feel like you tend to take too long to hint at these things - basically, your foreshadowing could be more concise.

The thing is, the amount of time you spend on different things in your story is very important, because that's what sticks in the reader's mind more. So, for example, Owen's cooking thing kind of felt to me like it was just thrown in, and, while it's nice, it's not too important. However, you spend a lot of 'time' on it - enough that it would feel weird if it just disappeared or was never important. The other thing you spent a noticeable amount of time on was Eliza and her mask. This is a really important example because what I got out of that conversation (especially the beginning before they claimed it was scarring) screamed that Eliza has a secret. So when you wound up making it all just seem like gossip, that felt odd. I can't tell if it was supposed to be foreshadowing or not - that whole conversation just felt off in a way I wish I could articulate better.

(I also hope we see more of Julius, for the same reason. Though I don't know how much I like him. He embodies a lot of what I find annoying about teachers. xD)

I kind of agree with Sins in that I really don't understand why they can't just spread information about these creatures to everybody. You'd think it would be better, because then if someone stumbles across something weird, they're more likely to know what it is and how to react to it. The overall attitude sometimes makes it feel like there's some giant conspiracy going on here, but I'm not sure if that's the case or if you just are trying not to reveal too much information at once. I think at some point, they need to give concrete, real reasons as to why they're compartmentalizing information like this.

I think that's most of what I have to say. I thought the fight scene was kind of a gimmick, but it did do a good job of showing how powerful Julius is. Sorry for this rather ramble-y review. I'm just having a bit of a hard time articulating what's going on here. Hopefully this was still helpful!

The scene with the dinner was meant to be mostly filler, actually, but it was also made to provide an opening for bits of information about Eliza herself. Thus far, we've only seen her from the eyes of a Novitiate and Paula, so I wanted to showcase the other end of the spectrum: how the other generals see and deal with her.

The convo about the mask itself was to point out of how she's more than the "faceless stern commander" to those who have been around long enough to know her. It WAS basic dining room gossip but that could also be used to provide perspective, no? Or do you think I'm reaching with this?

As for the Wraiths, yeah, there's a reason they're kept secret. I won't take long to explain why - I just need to set up things for it first.

And Julius isn't really meant to be a good teacher type (that's not really his actual job). Problem is, it's either him or Eliza to teach Paula and her peers, and the latter is far too busy. Thus, he gets to play bad teacher! :P

Thanks for your input.

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Sins
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Sins wrote a review · Tue Jun 28, 2016 12:54 pm

Hi!

After spending two hours fishing with Ryouma in Satsuma...

Why am I only now realising the name of this place, I love me a good satsuma.

This was a nice chapter, and I enjoyed Julius' character quite a bit. I hope we see a little more of him in the future! The quality and what not of your writing is as great as ever, and I think your overall pace was an improvement here. I've noted in the past how sometimes this can be a little slow, but this chapter was perfect. We started with the meal, moved on to the small 'battle' scene with Paula and Julius, then ended with an interesting conversation between Hilda and Paula that provided us with some info. I liked that all this happened within one chapter because it kept things super interesting all the way through, which occasionally isn't the case with some of your slower paced chapters. So yeah, good stuff!

I don't really have much to say about this chapter in terms of critiques, as it's one I really did enjoy reading. The only thing I'm really left questioning here is the secretiveness of Paula's situation, abilities e.t.c. What harm is there for Scions like Hilda knowing about these advanced Valnr? I know there's a lot of secretiveness in things like this, and I can understand it, but what harm could it cause for other Scions to know? As I said though, there are a lot of secrets in organisations and things like this, so I can understand it. I think some explanation to the reasoning behind such high secrecy could be beneficial, though.

I think the main reason this is an issue is because no one questions it. Hilda (and seemingly everyone else) just accepts this mystery without question, which seems odd. Even if she has the belief of 'it's none of my business', she must wonder. Even if it's just internally, y'know? What about Owen? Isn't he curious? Now obviously, Hilda does ask Paula about it towards the end of this chapter, which helps. This shows that she clearly does want information, but that doesn't explain why all this info is so secretive. Also, if I was Hilda, I'd be somewhat angry/frustrated at the fact that all this information is being hidden from me. I don't know... I guess some aspects of this situation seems a bit off to me, in terms of the human reactions to them.

Apologies for the slight uselessness here! I don't really have any other constructive criticisms to give you, so I feel I've not been much help. You know where to find me, anywho.

Keep writing,

xoxo S(k)ins

I've no problem with you not finding any major issues in a chapter - it's a nice confidence boost! :P

As for the secrets surrounding Paula's group, there's a reason why it's all kept from being common knowledge. We'll be getting there soon. And Hilda and co do want to get some answers - she has been trying for quite a long while now and Owen, himself, joined her in asking Paula while all three of them were healing after Bathurst.

Problem is, what can they do beyond keep prodding people in hopes of someone talking?



Depression is messin with the wrong person over here cuz in the months that I was doing better I was sharpening my weapons for this war.
— Kaia