Young Writers Society

Hey there! clogs here to review!

I have to say I really enjoyed this. The rhymes were very well executed with the imagery, and the rhythm was mostly smooth. A few things:

And so I stand and wait beneath this magic sight,

As the faeries dance and daydream through the clouds in great delight,

These two lines were where the rhythm seemed off to me. The first line doesn't quite have as many syllables as any of the others, and while the extra syllables in the second line compensate for that, it's weird to dive straight into the different syllable count after the other lines, if that makes sense. I almost think you could just clean up the transition by starting a new stanza here, but you could also just take a look at that first line.

A quick note: There were some instances of really subtle alliteration in this that, while not glaringly obvious, were a nice touch. I just wanted to say I thought that was really nicely done.

Next, I want to talk about one of my pet peeves: Italics. It's one of those things that makes me feel like a broken record whenever I say it in reviews, so here goes. Italics are meant for emphasis, so why emphasize the entire poem? To me, it feels like playing an entire song at the loudest possible volume. By doing that, you lose the contrast between the different dynamics, so the effect of the parts that are meant to be emphasized are lost. I assure you that your poem is lovely and can stand on its own without italicizing the entire thing.

I believe you know my opinion on rhyming poetry, and while I can't really complain about the excellently done rhyming in this poem, I'd still like to see what you could do with a free verse poem at some point.

Overall, this was really nicely done, and I hope this short review was useful to you! Keep up the great work!