remember those blossoming flowers last year?
the same ones that died, but grow again here?
remember those sundrops that lit up the sky?
the ones that replace those tears in your eye?
remember those helicopter leaves that fell?
the same ones that browned, but fly just as well?
remember those daisies that gave you a smile?
the same ones that bloom in your heart all the while?
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
140,171 Literary Works • 673,032 Reviews
Chilow for a review, here we go
Simple and sweet are the two best things for anything to be right? Well, maybe not everything, but poetry certainly. I believe that the same goes for rhyme; Year, here, sky, eye, fell, well. Simple, and beautiful just because of it
I'm glad that there are still people who can appreciate and can create such simple and beautiful poems amidst all of the overly complex and wordy cacophonies that so unfortunately populate many poetry books and sites nowadays. Keep up the good work and I'm looking forwards to reading your other pieces! (In fact, I'm headed over to review those right now!)
Cheers!
This was a very beautiful poem. I really liked the movement of the poem.
Hey...! Dogs here to review!
Again, loved the poem. I like the movement and what I mean by that is how it changed tones from happy to sad in every line.
I liked the rhyme scheme. Your poem is simple, but sometimes simple poems can be the best of things.
I don't really have any nitpicks so suggestions to tell you about. To me, the poem was already amazing. If you want to change it feel free because I'm not the one to tell you to do that or not, but I personally like it just the way it is.
I love your poem. There are a few reasons why.
1) The moods of the poem and how it changes from happy to sad (movement).
2) The flow. The flow is just perfect. No words... I'm speechless.
3) The rhyme scheme. I loved the rhyme scheme and how when every the mood changed the last words would rhyme. (If that makes no sense, I think you no what I mean... If not... Just... You know... Ask!)
4) It's simple. I just love simple poems like this.
Your poem is a fantastic piece of art, and I love how simple it is.
Keep up the great writing,
Love,
Dogs
Hi
I am here to leave you a review.
I really liked what you did here; the movement from the nice to the sad and back to the positive. That really went well with the title. I do like the concept about how things do go on even though we all have the ups and downs, yet you see the bright side to everything.
I love the effortless way in which you made them rhyme, however I think the idea of continuity could have been brought out better if you didn't use the rhetorical questions. Their effect seemed to ebb away as the whole poem was made up by them. I think it would have been a more powerful poem if you used enjambments to show the flow of time and also separating the remember with a caesuras would have added more emphasis to the fact that everyone goes through such times.
For example I would have started it in this way:
remember, (use of caesura) those blossoming flowers last year
the same ones that died, but grow again here? (use of enjambment to minimize the use of rhetorical questions.)
-overall I really enjoyed it and obviously these suggestions are just my own opinion no need to actually change anything.