Death is a lady, so beautifully fair,
With rosy-red ribbons in her waving long hair.
Her eyes sparkle glory with the souls of all dead,
Her heart is the resting, a charming death bed.
~
Death is a wonder, so elegantly dressed,
With an aura of gold; to meet her, you're blessed.
Her lips utter words that tingle with love,
For Death is a faerie sent down from above.
~
Death is an angel, that looks just like me,
With a knowing of God, that shall set us all free.
I am a spirit, I have known since my birth,
I am Death; you don't know what I'm worth.
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Canary word: Present
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125,021 Literary Works • 672,740 Reviews
Hello.
I love how easy your poem is to read. For some odd reason the first stanza gives me a nursery rhyme feel. I read it quickly like I would in the 'Humpty Dumpty' rhyme.
I also love the way you described Death in a positive, non scary fashion. It makes rethink my own view of Death. Death being seen as a beautiful angel, that's eerily acceptable.
Death knowing God makes total sense to me. I've always imagined death as being God's right hand.
I'm not sure I want to know what set us all free entails though, so i'll just ignore that.
Overall your poem had great rhyme, and was very understandable. That makes it awesome in my book.
Hey Dogs here for a review!
First off I really liked your poem. It had a great rhyme scheme and lots more!
Let's get started!
This poem speaks tons of volume. That's exactly what readers want to see in their poem. They want to see the short poem, with tons of meaning. Such as this poem! This poem is a perfect example of meaningful.
As Evelyn123 said I love as well how you personified death. It just kind of flowed very well in my head as I read it. I really liked this!
You had a great rhythm as well as rhyme. I loved how you rhymed at each line ending rather than every other line ending. I don't see a lot of rhyming poems, and I like that you did this!
The flow, and the rhyme was perfect! I do kind of agree with tzipwrite and theswordsman though.
Anyway that's about it...
Keep up the great writing,
Love,
Dogs
Love how you personified death. And in my head I have this lovely slow paced sound.
Hey, tzipwrite here, LOVED the poem. The rhyming is great. I loved the imagery and characterization are vivid and colorful! I loved the line "With rosy-red ribbons in her waving long hair." It gives me chills to think about this beautiful wandering stranger, roaming the streets to reclaim the souls.
It gives the poem a more quaint, Old-English vibe. I like it.
"Her lips utter words that tingle with love" Intense! I like the word "tingle" here. It's chilling and descriptive.
"For Death is a faerie sent down from above." I've never seen the word fairy spelled like that. I actually looked it up to see if it's an actual word or just a misspell and I can't believe it's a real word! I love learning new words! So thanks for that.
"Death is an angel, that looks just like me,
With a knowing of God, that shall set us all free." I didn't see this part coming, and it makes the poem even deeper, knowing that it's written from the perspective of Death herself. I love "a knowing of God", implying that Death has an intimate relationship with God. Deep.
I sort of agree with The Swordsman, though. The poem ends a bit abruptly. I think it could have another line or two to give it more closure. Other than that, a flawless job. Love it.
Good luck!
Greetings from The Swordsman,
I would first like to say that this poem, though short, speaks volumes. That is how poetry is meant to be written. Using a few choice words to craft and depict an entire story or idea.
This may be finished, but I wonder if there is a little bit missing from this poem. To me, Death is a mystery. No one really knows what is on the other side of it, or what really happens when you meet it. Is it merely a messenger come to tell you when your time is done? or are they like the ferry men that transport the souls of the dead to their proper place? Who knows? This small aspect is something that you might think of addressing.
You flow is perfect and your rhymes are flawless. It is hard to say anything more with such a short piece. Thank you for sharing this with us. It is something alive and having real heart in it.
Happy Writing!
Hi, @Kayley01 here for review. I have only began to use YWS a couple of days ago, and your poem is the best I've seen so far. All i can really say about your poem is WOW! Honestly, I have no criticism what so ever about you piece. The words you used to describe her really gave me a picture in my mind and you brought me to a land in my mind where I could only see her. This is a great piece and you definetily get a like and a follow from me.
Hey. Your poem reminds me of Sonnet 10 by John Donne:
https://www.poets.org/poetsorg/poem/dea ... -sonnet-10