Hey everyone this is my first haiku I hope you enjoy it.
Look close to find it
It’s everywhere close by
Even in the trees
Don’t know what it is?
Its art in nature silly boy
Its everywhere
Still can’t find it, girl?
Use your imagination
Now let me explain
Branches of the trees
Bend and curve like warped in space
The orange leaves fall down
The roses bloom near sun
The season of summer comes
The grass grows green to
The birds chirp while awake
The butterflies fly with grace
The plants bloom with colour
Nature is art
You just have to look for it
And it will change you.
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Hello! I like your haiku. And I love art.
I love this part.I think there's something missing here.
Anyway, I like it.
Keep writing,
Alicia.
Hi R.O.C
i am very sorry if i almost copied your title i did not realise until i reviewed your poem, i really did not, if it makes you happy i would be happy to change the title if you really want.
-CaptianRandom
Goodmornin' Cap'n! RepublicOfCoter reportin' for duty! Now, what to say about the haiku...
I understand that this is your first haiku? You've done very well! It was written differently to how a haiku is traditionally written, by that I mean you start with a conversation then you begin into the discussion of nature. It flowed well for a poem but not a haiku which leads me into the issues I have with this:
First of all, your syllables are all out of place. I'll show you:
Now, that is basically all the syllable miscalculations you have made.
But I still have one major issue which I'm really not happy about. The title. I believe that you have reviewed one of my poems which just happens to be a haiku. And what is the title of that poem? It just happens to be The Art of Nature. I'm not going to take this up with anyone but I am warning you never to do this again.
MWAHAHAHA!
-R.O.C.
Hey CaptianRandom,
This is great for your first haiku! Really good job! I love the concept of it and the title "The art of nature and the nature of art" and I feel that this poem explains this idea really well. Some things you need to fix up...watch syllables! Count them the good old fashioned way with your fingers!
Otherwise, it was really good! Best wishes for future writing!
RedLeaf
Yeah, some typos, and unfinished thoughts. the idea is fine, but work on the details.
love the idea,
some lines could do with a touchup
but an overall great job
well done.
happy writing
Awesome I'm your first reviewer!!!!!!!!!!!!! okay lets get started. but first the bolded part is the stuff that need corrections. the red is the corrections
Look close to find it
It’s everywhere close by using this word so close together is going to get boring. try to find another word for close in a thesarus
Even in the trees
Don’t know what it is?
Its art in nature silly boy
Its everywhere
Still can’t find it, girl? how do you know its a girl? try to make it unisex
Use your imagination
Now let me explain
Branches of the trees
Bend and curve like warped in space LOVE IT!!
The orange leaves fall down
The roses bloom near sun
The season of summer comes
The grass grows green to is there supposed to be something after this??
The birds chirp while awake
The butterflies fly with grace
The plants bloom with colour
Nature is art
You just have to look for it
And it will change you.
overall very good!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
~pointe