My Teacher

Er ... this was very ... interesting.
Yes, I agree with other reviewers on the point that it was more a rant than a poem, but I have to say, you got me laughing. I think we can all relate to you there - us students, that is.
What I liked about it was the humour and the fact that I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL. Everyone hates a teacher. (:
What I didn't like so much were the spelling and grammar mistakes. Yes, I know. *Sigh*. I think other reviewers have thoroughly 'grammared' your eyes out by now, so I won't list the mistakes, but as I am a perfectionist, I just wanted to let you know that for most people, mistakes from the spelling and grammar angle are obvious and do ruin the writing for them a bit. It might be helpful to use a spell-check - or even to read a few more books. I didn't learn English in a classroom - I learnt it by reading. I hope this helps.
Still laughing,
Ignis

CaptianRandom wrote:This poem is about my crappy Humanities teacher who i hate so much

As I sit in my class, I think I might blast
My teacher is boring and he doesn’t know how to teach, what’s with him, get a life please
OMG, I’m going to crack, hopefully so does his back
My friends agree, but my family don’t, try and teach yourself, you dolt
I think I should sew because I failed my exam, I should get the work and cram, cram, cram
Up his butt and out his mouth, oh how I wish he had self dough
He would them resin and we’d be free, from his boring wrath of bullshishcavee
There should be a limit from when they retire, yeah that’s right I don’t like this guy.
I need to get out of his hypnotic humor, honestly he’s not funny, i’ll run like a puma
Away from him and out the door, maybe I could drag him through the floor
No that’s silly my imagination is taking over, I think I should just put up with him. GAME OVER

(bullshishcavee is an inside joke he thinks is funny, its not)

Hey Cap!

This is absolutely hilarious! I was laughing throughout the poem! It's so funny! It wasn't much of a poem, but it did rhyme, and had a...nice...flow??

For a poem, this wasn't the best. Here are some issues: "OMG" I agree with ROC, this isn't a text message, try not to put things like OMG or lol into your poems. There are also a few spelling errors: sew should be sue, and dough should be doubt. And some of the language is weird: bullshishcavee?? wow, expressive!

The last two lines didn't make much sense:

[quote=CaptianRandom]Away from him and out the door, maybe I could drag him through the floor
No that’s silly my imagination is taking over, I think I should just put up with him. GAME OVER[/quote]

If you want to run away from him, why would you drag him through the floor? That means you'll have to run back to him and grab him then drag him. If you wanted to run away, why would you go back to drag him through the floor?

Ummm...good luck? Best wishes!

RedLeaf

"but my family don’t" should be doesn't, because you did not say family members reffering to many people, so keep it singular.
Other than that I laughed myself out, you reminded me of school, I'm not old though, only going to college hehe. It was funny and trust me, many people can relate to your misery .
Write on, it's your thing.

Hey CaptianRandom!

I'm sorry. I'm still laughing. I know you don't like this teacher but throughout the entire "poem", I was constantly laughing! It is hilarious! I do have to agree with everyone that this is not a poem but a rant. If you don't know what a rant it according to Wikipedia a rant is an enthusiastic speech or talk or lecture on an idea, a person or an institution. Surely there must be some good aspects of your Humanities teacher that you could talk about here? Every single person on Earth and in history has at least one good thing about them? I think I remember you mentioning in you rant that he's funny? Well, than he's not all that bad. The next time you want to post one of your pieces that doesn't fit into anything, submit in into the Literary Misc. section Other. This is the place you submit things that don't fit anywhere, where I believe this belongs or on your blog.

Now to the poem itself. I wont comment on much as everyone has already said what I have wanted to. Basically, heaps of spelling errors, too bulky but love the SAW reference: GAME OVER! Awesome!

As I sit in my class, I think I might blast
My teacher is boring and he doesn’t know how to teach, what’s with him, get a life please
OMG this isn't a text message or msn, I’m going to crack, hopefully so does his back
My friends agree, but my family don’t, try and teach you’re self I think you meant to say yourself you dolt what's a dolt?
I think I should sew sue not sewbecause I failed my exam, I should get the work and cram, cram, cram
Up his butt and out his mouth, oh how I wish he had self dough do you mean doubt?
He would them resin resign and we’d be free, from his boring wrath of bullshishcavee
There should be a limit from when they retire There is - Australia: 63, yeah that’s right I don’t like this guy.
I need to get out of his hypnotic humor, honestly he’s not funny, i’ll run like a puma
Away from him and out the door, maybe I could drag him through the floor
No that’s silly my imagination is taking over, I think I should just put up with him. GAME OVER

Hello CaptainRandom, I really enjoyed your poem. I think it speaks a lot of truth and I can tell you feel strongly about hating this teacher of yours. I myself have a bad humanities teacher so I know what it is like. Your poem speaks truth and while it needs some work and corrections I think it is great! From what is in your poem this teacher sounds old, crazy and tries to be funny which is strangely like my humanities teacher! Who would have thought we would have teachers with the same personality. Maybe they are brothers.
Thanx,
watchmeburn

I have to agree with Anger.. this seemed more a rant. I would look over his suggestions.. I'm not that detailed, haha, but I agree with what he said. I would also consider breaking this up a bit more... each line seems to just go on and on at points. I also didn't really understand some parts... such as the "GAME OVER" thing.. it didn't really seem to fit with the piece. The tone was inconsistent, and kind of seemed everywhere.

Overall, this was a nicely written rant, though I think it could be improved.



-Coral

Hey Captian Random

OMG, I’m going to crack, hopeful hopefully so does his back
My friends agree, but my family don’t, try and teach you’re self yourself you dolt
I think I should sew because I failed my exam, I should get the work and cram, cram, cram I don't see the need for the repetition of cram.
Up his butt and out his mouth, oh how I wish he had self dough
He would them then resin and we’d be free, from his boring wrath of bullshishcavee
There should be a limit from when they retire, ye yeah or yes that’s right I don’t like this guy.
I need to get out of his hypnotic humor, honestly he’s not funny, i’ll run like a puma If he's not funny there is no way that his humor can be hypnotic. For something to be hypnotic it has to be mesmerizing and something you can't take your eyes off, and you have spent a great deal of the poem telling us that he isn't funny. So you seem to be contradicting yourself there.
Away from him and out the door, maybe I could drag him through the floor Through the floor? That seems a bit weird, perhaps you should rephrase.
No that’s silly my imagination is taking over, I think I should just put up with him. GAME OVER This ends on a low note.