From mirrors to outer space

Hey, Weather here to review.

In a way I found this piece sad yet hopeful, like despite this character feeling insecure they would move on from it, I guess in space in somewhere where they can escape from reality just for a while.

Anyways I generally liked your poem, a lot of people can relate to it. I just have a few things to suggest.

I think it was simple, it was okay but it was lacking real raw emotion that affects the reader to be empathetic and go on a journey with this character. There have been many poems on reflections and hating your self-image what sets your apart?

"When you hate your own reflection

So much that you can't stand your reaction

Whenever you look in the mirror."

I think here you could have created more vivid and powerful images and show more instead of tell. Give more imagery of the reaction and rather than just "look" i'm sure if someone hated their reflection thy couldn't even bare to look at it, rather they would squint or squirm or only look with one eye open something along those line.

"You cover it but you can still hear

Every word that is spoken behind your back.

Then, your self esteem reaches a new lack

Of strength than ever before."

Here I was slightly confused, covering the reflection in the mirror? If so how can you hear a reflection? It's not very clear to me.

"And all you want is something more

To say or do to hide your face.

Sometimes all you really want is to completely disappear into space."

Here, more variety of vocabulary is needed than basics because with such a topic as this it should be very powerful. Instead of "disappear" consider: fade, dissolve, float, fly, escape etc.... words that feel permanent along those lines. Instead of "hide" you face you could try: bury cover, disfigure, change, renovate, adorn etc...

Overall this has plenty of potential so keep writing! Hope i was of help to you.

--Weather

Ouch. I can definitely tell what period of life you're in. Something I'd imagine we can all relate to. This actually has quite some potential. I've seen worse on the front page. The big problem I think is just getting enough people to look at your stuff. Anyway, on to the actual critique. It's good, although I'd suggest spicing it up with a bit of expanded vocabulary (there's no shame in using a thesaurus in conjunction with a rhyming dictionary so long as no one knows about it). Other than that you could use a bit more structure. You can get by without it, but all the famous works are structured for a reason. It's kinda impressive if ya can. Other than that, my last critique is your use of space. Humanity has had an interest in the sky for at least twelve thousand years, and we have a dictionary to reflect it. Call it the astral sea, the cosmos, the great infinity, anything you want, just don't use space. That's all I have, keep up the good work, and fare thee well!

~Scoeri

And space agrees lol xD sorry my peeps call me space anyways lovely poem! I know that it's true on all counts for me. And I can admit it. ^.^ Wonderful job!

mongoose here to review!

First of all this poem really speaks to me, each line is a perfect representation of how i feel sometimes and I think this was the perfect poem to suit the subject. Your rhyming i good as well I like how it only starts to develop as the poem deepens, its like the emotions that you feel are coming through onto the screen y hoe the scheme changes.

My only niggle is probably that I personally would put a comma between the lines :
"So much that you can't stand your reaction
,
Whenever you look in the mirror.
"
But because this is poetry I think punctuation is personal to how the authors reads it rather than any grammar issues. Therefore keep it how it is unless you agree, just because poems could be written without punctuation at all so, I suppose it personal preference.

Anyway, I really enjoyed this poem and thankyou for posting it:P