This came out when my house was heck-tic and music and yelling rang through the halls...tell my what thou thinkest!
Stitches on a striped skin.
Layers going all which ways.
No color StAnDiNg StIlL.
Dishes drop
Tea shatters,
Darkening the air.
Head on a platter.
Eyes hard as coal.
The smell of old food
Simply makes my fatter.
Hair flat, undone
Set upon a nest.
Twigs and grass, yes.
Nothing better to wear
On an occasion
Such as yesternight.
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138,016 Literary Works • 672,071 Reviews
Interesting... I like it. Really great descriptions. I think that colorful funky text takes away from it a bit, but it put a smile on my face. Although maybe that wasn't what you were going for here...
Anway, nice poem.
Happy writing!
I like this, its unusual.
A little hard to follow but I got the idea of it. Though it is slightly lacking the emotion i'd be expecting you to feel.
Also I think descriptions would be greater used at length.
Though yeah, I like it.
I really like it. It didn't specifically bring up any feelings, but you've described the chaotic scenery and the atmosphere perfectly. I don't know about that coloured text or the uppercase-lowercase writing , but I think you just made that for fun. I really liked it.
- Rob.