I wish I could just take that razor blade,
and slit my wrists letting my blood drip,
until the tile is painted with crimson.
Can you even see me right now?
Please, I need you to look at me.
Can't you see that all I need,
is your undivided attention for a little while?
Because I am standing on the edge of a cliff,
and I am ready to push myself off.
I never thought that I would feel this way,
and definitely not towards my own mother.
I would bend over backwards,
just to make you proud of me.
Except, I know that you aren't.
And nothing I do is good enough.
I get good grades year round?
I'm the only one in my division to get gold at state?
I register for AP and Honors classes?
None are even note worthy to you.
But that is it, I don't care now.
Just keep shoving those pills down my throat,
because I can't understand my life anymore.
Or how my mother, who raised me to be strong,
makes me feel weak and unnoticed.
Like when she was a pill popping drunk,
who tried to commit suicide every other night.
Who let there be people at our house constantly,
smoking weed and doing pills in front of me.
You cleaned up and got out of there,
then my boyfriend dumped me,
and you were out of here.
All this leading up to my summer.
Where I started smoking weed heavily,
and sleeping with a man twice my age.
You found out, yet I still went unpunished.
But that is history now,
I found a guy who I never want to leave,
I'm working towards my future,
between scholarships and grades,
I will be out of here soon enough.
Except, he helped me realize things,
that I should have seen since the start,
but for some reason didn't.
I found some confidence in myself,
figuring out that in the end,
that I don't need your attention or approval.
This is a..poem that no words can even define. I have to ask if this is a true story about yourself, even though I know that teens (and adults) go through this. If it is, I..there's no sorry good enough. If its not, then wow, I am wondering how in the world you could catch this. You did an Excellent job choosing your words and explaining the pain without going overboard with un-needed sentences. You make it so its easy for the reader to feel like they could relate, even if they've never been through it themselves. Please, please keep writing.
Gg
Sadly yes, it is a personal story. To be quite honest, this is probably one of my more truthful stories, everything in it did really happen. BUT I did exaggerate it some, as I always do. I am glad that you liked my piece, but there is no reason to be sorry for what has happened, it is in the past, and like I said, there is a guy who I never want to let go that has showed me all of the things I tried to ignore. He has really helped me through a lot... I believe that if it weren't for him, I wouldn't be writing right now. He inspired me, even though my poems are dark, that doesn't mean that they came from dark emotions.
~Skye~
I have felt like this before like my life was no longer worth living and everything i did wasn't good enough for my mother. My favorite part of you poem was when you said "I would bend over backwards, just to make you proud of me. Except, I know that you aren't. And nothing I do is good enough." It made me remember when i was cutting because nothing i did was goo enough for my mom. I got good grades, behaved and did everything i could to make her happy but i didn't so i fell into cutting and trouble. Your poem was great amazing.