I gave up that life,
I walked away,
hung my curtain of shame.
Yet it keeps coming up,
and you don't understand
that I am giving up.
Nothing I do or say changes shit.
Honesty doesn't work,
no one believes me anyways.
What do you want me to do?
I am not going to chase after you.
It was your decision to end us.
Don't make this my fault,
that you over think everything.
That you can't ignore my past.
I gave up everything for you.
Maybe if I hadn't been so open,
we would still be together.
Happy as if everything is sunshine.
But it is raining,
and as the thunder crashes,
I start slashing into my skin,
with a cold ended razor blade.
It isn't only you that caused this,
so don't flatter yourself too much.
Everyone knows what he is,
nothing but a pathetic excuse for a human.
He doesn't deserve the life he was given.
You want to beat her down?
Make her life nothing but pain?
Fuck you "daddy", you don't deserve us.
I wish for your death, did you know that?
Every single day I wish for it.
And my mother isn't much better,
since she came to live with my father again,
my life has been a living hell.
She isn't the same woman that I loved.
What happened to my strong and brave mommy?
I miss her, she showed me she cared.
You don't, not until I come downstairs,
covered in blood and fresh cuts.
The blade sinks deeper and deeper now,
now that my sister is in my mind.
She used to be my best friend,
the one I always turned to, no matter what.
But then she called the cops on me.
Instead of confronting me on the issue.
She took away my little peice of happiness.
And acts like she doesn't understand.
This is all of my life consists of anymore.
A boyfriend that is off and on more than a light switch.
And has fucked everything but off.
A father that beats women to make him feel in powered.
And all I can do is pray for his death.
A mother that isn't the same woman that I loved.
And doesn't care about barely anything anymore.
A sister that I used to love so much
And then betrayed me by calling the cops.
Everything feels better now,
the blood drips from my wrists,
and I can't help but to watch it fall.
No one will ever understand,
as I take my final breath.
Oh my. That poem really touched me heart. You have such an imaginative and emotional way of writing it made me relate to myself and the feelings I can get and experiences I have had. I know myself, I find writing poetry really hard but you make it to so easy and just let the words fall off the page mirroring your thoughts and feelings. Keep up the work. It is really good and I hope for more!
It was really expressive and was good, but there are a few things I have to point out. It's not something to be bothered about, just something I noticed.
First of all, it was too long though you probably already know that.
Then there's the stanzas, they are not uniform like the first stanza having nine lines, the second having seven, fourth having ten and so on.
If you pay attention to the count, it would help in shortening the poem.
And that's it.
Keep going.
The way I see it, the whole thing is an outburst of emotions. That's the whole purpose of poetry: to let it out . It's one of those poems reading which I don't even care about the format, length and all. And if this is a personal story, I hope things get better in your life.
Regards
S
Hi
BrokenSkye,
your poem is pretty long one and honestly I don't even read it till the last stanza.But anyway I love the lines here;
'This is all of my life consists of anymore.
A boyfriend that is off and on more than a light switch.
And has fucked everything but off.
A father that beats women to make him feel in powered.
And all I can do is pray for his death.
A mother that isn't the same woman that I loved.
And doesn't care about barely anything anymore.
A sister that I used to love so much
And then betrayed me by calling the cops.
Everything feels better now,
the blood drips from my wrists,
and I can't help but to watch it fall.
No one will ever understand,
as I take my final breath.'
No doubt,your poem will be more interesting to read if you make it shorter.
I am working hard on making it shorter, I took out two stanzas and some lines so far, but I am still working on it.
Thanks for your comment though, and I figured that would be one of my best stanzas when I was writing it. Glad you agree.
That is the most I can do with still telling my story and getting to the point. I hope you like it better this way!