Young Writers Society

Wow, I loved that, and I am not really a huge fan of poems, I mean they are ok but this was more than just ok, I looked back on the review before me and I would have to agree that stanza stops the flow, but it dosent mean it was a bad stanza it is still really good, you need to be proud of what you wrote because it was great and I really enjoyed reading it

Hello!
The first things I pick up from this are the narrator's (this reads like a personal piece, written out of frustration, so the narrator I must assume is you) strong emotions. And by 'emotions', I mostly mean one - frustration. The frustration comes through loud and clear.
The topic of your frustration is one that I can identify with on a personal level. In fact, I'd guess most people who frequent the internet would resonate with the underlying reasons to some extent!
Alas, though. I do agree with @herbgirl in her review. While the premise is strong, and the universal nature of the complaint within should lead to reader investment, there isn't enough here to latch onto.
I'm not sure this, as it stands, works quite as well as a poem. It is an emotional rant/outburst, but lacks the meter or rhythm to mesh quite right.
If you were looking to fix this (and you may well not; this may have been a burst of emotion and you needn't bother with now that it's out on paper), I would suggest writing a second draft altogether.
Rhyming would help. Making the length of the lines closer together or organize them in a way that feels rhythmic or intentional, such as making the last or first line longer than the
rest would also help.
As a plus, the grammar here is fine. There's no punctuation outside the two question marks, which leads to a stream-of-consciousness feel. Where the question marks appear, they act as a stop or bookmark due to the infrequency with which they appear. With this in mind, perhaps a punctuation mark on the last line would create the sort of solid end that this poem is aiming for.
Overall, this is a poem with a potentially strong message that needs some workshopping towards a more classic poetic structure to reach its true potential.
P.S. I hope you're feeling better. Life does suck, but there's goodness too.

Hello! herbgirl here for a review!
Well, clearly this poem holds a lot of meaning to you, which makes me a little afraid to review it. However, I still want everyone to be the best writer they can be, so here goes.
I don't think this was a very useful poem. All you really did was just complain about society, or the people you know. Yes, others could relate to it, but not in a way that is enlightening or meaningful. It wouldn't make a deep impression many readers.
In the middle, it's kind of hard to understand what you're talking about. First you say everyone is right and everyone one is wrong because everyone matters, but then you say your opinion matters only if it agrees with others. This doesn't make a lot of sense to me, although I think I understand what you were trying to say. You contradict yourself though, the way it is currently written.
I'm guessing that it's been a little bit since you published this poem, and maybe your feelings have cooled. I suggest going back through this poem, and just read it to yourself. Does it seem like you're really making a statement? Is it a compelling piece? If not, go through and change things. I think there is potential in this poem, because you're a good writer, but the way it is now just isn't going to work.
Sorry if I'm being a little harsh! I hope this review has helped you, at least a little bit. Good luck!
herbgirl