Aye! I don't even know where to start
My head hurts I'm tired and nothing feels good
Good bad, the tears still push through
Always, they are always behind my eyes
It sucks, is this just my regular depression, or is it more than that
I really just want a hug, is that too much to ask?
Just one little hug, a kind word, or a smile
Just don't go away
Don't leave me alone
Cast a glance my way, catch my eye, and smile
Maybe tell me how your day was
I just need someone to be there right now
Even now
Surrounded by my friends
I just want to curl up and cry
To act like an anama character, to have bubbles of water burble out of my eyes
Just don't go away, be my senpai
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139,316 Literary Works • 672,529 Reviews
Hey! I'm gonna be reviewing your piece
First, I really like this piece, simple, flows very nicely, and isn't lacking in anything.
There is one mistake: "My head hurts I'm tired and nothing feels good.." Should be: "My head hurts, I'm tired, and nothing feels good" Other than that, all punctuation and spelling is good.
I feel the ending doesn't flow as good as the rest? Maybe it's just me. I'm not sure for a title? Maybe something like "Just Don't Go Away" (Inspired from some of the lines) or maybe "Stay My Senpai" I'm not sure, you'll get a name soon, I'm sure. Overall, this seems like a good piece of work.
Keep writing, good job!
Ronan
Thanks for the review and title idea
I feel like the first run-on sentance is supposed to be there, but at the same time; you are right. Thanks again!
Hey there.
I haven't reviewed anything in quite a while so I apologise in advance if it ain't that good... Anyway, Let us start, shall we.
First I'd like to say that if this isn't from personal experience you do very well at placing yourself into a foreign situation. I really liked this piece, it's simple enough but it surely isn't lacking. And even though the last two lines seem a little out of place it still flows pretty well.
As for a title I'm not sure. Maybe something like, 'You keep me sane"? I don't know.
Anyway, thank you for posting. Good luck in your writing endeavour
~Neverland
Thanks for the review, and the title idea
For a title, how about Just Don't Go Away?
That might work, thanks!
Anytime