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Leadership - a short essay for a HOBY scholarship

by Anniepoo103


                Leadership- how is it challenging and what makes it rewarding

Leadership isn’t about a title or a plaque. It is sacrificing for those who look to you for guidance and direction. To most, sacrificing seems complicated and unnecessary; but to a leader, it’s daily life. Along with sacrifice, leaders must also limit their pride. Leadership is not easy, patience will be tested, there will be regrets and mistakes. A good leader gets rewarded with the smiles of children, the respect from those around them, and the feeling that they have done something worthwhile with their life.

--- I would appreciate any reviews or advice. This is supposed to be a short 100 word essay telling why leadership is challenging, and what makes it rewarding. Apparently I am supposed to be outspoken, have the courage to resist authority, the ability to speak out for my beliefs, sensitivity to others, etc. Thanks ahead of time guys (: ----

     


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613 Reviews


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Mon Nov 05, 2018 8:28 pm
Messenger wrote a review...



Hey, I thought I would give you as good of a review as I can on this piece. It's short, and leadership is also an interesting topic, so let's see what we've got!

Leadership isn’t about a title or a plaque. It is sacrificing for those who look to you for guidance and direction.I would suggest cutting the title or plaque bit. You have 110 words to convince us that it is challenging but rewarding, and normally using a what it is and isn't contrast would work well, but in this case, I would say push for only what it IS. To most, sacrificing seems complicated and unnecessary; but to a leader, it’s daily life. I think an example, short and to the point would fit here perfectly instead of saying it is complicated and unnecessary. Instead, tell us a way that it would take sacrifice Along with sacrifice, leaders must also limit their pride. Leadership is not easy, put a period or a colon here patience will be tested, the same thing here there will be regrets and mistakes. A good leader gets rewarded with the smiles of children, the respect from those around them, and the feeling that they have done something worthwhile with their life. [b]solid ending, showing us why it is worth it in the end.


Overall, I did like this essay. I can imagine keeping it 100 words must have been extremely hard. (I struggle to be concise at times) I do think you did it well. Your style sounds essayish in all the right ways, without sounding clunky or confusing, yet still professional. I think you have a good piece here, but I would take into consideration the below review and this one for what it's worth. I think this essay is straightforward, but in no way should it offend anybody. (if it does they probably wouldn't make a good leader ;) )

~Messy




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Mon Oct 22, 2018 4:39 pm
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Carlito wrote a review...



Hello!!

Oh boy, an essay about leadership in 100 words! Sounds tough! You'll obviously need to be super concise and to do that I think you should try to be pretty explicit. Two - three ways leadership is challenging, two - three ways it's rewarding. Done.

Leadership is challenging because...[two ways]. Examples. Despite these challenges, leadership is rewarding because... Examples.

You don't have enough space for flowery language or tons of description. Come in, make your point, get out :) Contractions will be your friend. Strong words and verbs will be your friend to make your point as concisely as possible. This is one of my favorite resources about strong verbs/words in writing. She wrote it about novels but I think you could apply it to other types of writing as well.

I think the points you've made already are fine, but if you can show an example of each of your points. If you have leadership experience, try use your own experiences as the examples. You'll only get a line or two, but I think that would be a good illustration and also show off your leadership (double win!)

Let m know if you have any questions or if you'd like feedback about something I didn't mention! And feel free to PM me if you revise and want another opinion :D





You can cut all the flowers, but you cannot stop Spring from coming.
— Pablo Neruda