Thoughts about love and life

Hey, annie! clogs here to review!

I almost feel like this would be better posted in the Serious Discussion and Debate forum instead of as a literary work. Then, you could actually have a discussion without people correcting your every mistake. But, since this is a review, that's what I'm here to do! XD Let's begin, shall we?

I'll start with grammar:

You have a couple of careless mistakes and a couple of repeated mistakes. The careless mistakes are things like missing punctuation and typos, which I feel like you can correct without me spending forever quoting them at you and fixing them. Self editing is a valuable skill. However, I'll spend some time on the repeated mistakes, since that makes it clear to me what you don't understand.

You have a problem with comma splices. Example:

Love should be a special once in a lifetime kind of thing, I feel like it should be earned not chased after or abused.

This sentence has two independent clauses, therefore it cannot be joined by a comma. There are a number of ways to fix comma splices, but for this sentence, I think that either a period or a semicolon would be appropriate. Also, you need a comma after "earned".

There were definitely more comma splices in this, so hopefully now you can start to recognize them a bit more and learn how to fix them. Here's a Knowledge Base article that will also help with this:

Comma splices

Overall, this work has a lot of grammar mistakes, so I urge you to go through this and proofread. If something sounds unnatural, then change something! Proofreading and editing are some of the most valuable skills that you can have as a writer. As someone once said, "Writing is rewriting."

Moving on from grammar:

I'm not even sure of the point you're trying to get across here. It's very unorganized, and not very well-explained. What I maaybe got from it was that teenagers shouldn't focus so much on finding love, and should try to enjoy other aspects of life and worry about love later? It was generally really confusing. If you want to convince readers of your point, here are a few tips:

1. Start out with a point, so readers know what you're trying to tell them

2. Support your point with evidence, so readers know you're not just making stuff up

3. Explain how the evidence relates to your point, in case the readers are idiots

It may sound like I'm joking with the "readers are idiots", but that's really what you have to do. Explain everything, even if it feels like you're over-explaining sometimes. That way, readers will actually understand what you're trying to say, and if you're lucky, they might agree with you! Right now, you're doing nothing to convince me.

I think that most of the time, this is too judge-y. It invalidates people's feelings. For instance:

They put no thoughts, no feelings into their relationships and if they do, most of them are fake or forced.

How do you know? Who are you to say that no thoughts or feelings go into their relationships? You might say that their thoughts are misguided, but they're still thoughts, so it seems really presumptuous to just go, "oh, no thought is going into their relationship."

I guess you could say that these thoughts are pointless, that is if you have fallen into the trap of fake feelings.

Again, how do you know that these feelings are fake? Teenagers have real feelings just like everyone else. Will their feelings last forever? Probably not, but that doesn't mean that they're not real while they're feeling them.

Not to mention, I think teenage dating is incredibly important so that they can find out how they relate to people and get used to having mature relationships. It's kind of like practice for the adult world. Nobody's expecting two 13 year olds to be soulmates and still be together when they're 70, but that doesn't mean it's bad for them to date.

I am sure thqt all of my thoughts, or most of them at least are right. What do you think?

I think that you're coming off as arrogant by saying this. This is such an opinion-based topic, so how can you be so sure you're "right"? What defines "right", anyway? If someone feels that their life needs love, then so be it. They're not "wrong" for thinking that.

In the end, this piece is simply an opinion, which is why I think you might be better off posting it in SD&D. If you want to further this as a literary work, I recommend fixing your grammar mistakes and turning it into a persuasive essay. However, you should be aware that this topic is incredibly based in opinion, so what works for you might not work for everyone else.

Hope this helped, and keep on writing!