z
  • Home

Young Writers Society



Circus Lily

by AkiraEliza


I met a girl, today

And she made my heart sway

I didn't know it would end so swiftly

And now I'm not okay . . .

~

I put you first, I gave you my all

Once again I had to watch it fall

I knew better, but I let you in my heart

I trusted you, and you tore at my walls

“Trust me, i wont leave, meet me half way,

I truely love you I promise I will stay”

Made me believe everything would end okay

I knew it, just one fight, and the truth told me I’m right-

~

The lily’s time was so brief

Impacted me so bad, gave me grief

I didn’t love her at first, then I fell for her hard

But then she killed my heart and dragged me into the yard

She drew a chalk outline around my skin

Told me that she lied, that it ain’t her fault I’m left again

“I never loved you, I only pretended, so what if I’m another flower on the list?”

I’m so grief stricken I’m not even out for blood, but god, how you made me so-

~

You were only there for a little while

But then you left, and filled my heart with bile

I told you “never again” but you promised you would stay

I only wish it didn’t have to end this way

My Circus Rose, she needed your help

And I promised I wouldn’t cause you trouble

But I get sick just seeing your profile

Sick to my stomach, do I want to cry or do I want to scream?

~

The lily’s time was so brief

Impacted me so bad, gave me grief

I didn’t love her at first, then I fell for her hard

But then she killed my heart and dragged me into the yard

She drew chalk outline around my skin

Told me that she lied, that it ain’t her fault I’m left again

“I never loved you, I only pretended, so what if I’m another flower on the list”

I’m so grief stricken I’m not even out for blood, but god, how you made me so-

~

Told me that I had your heart

I should have know better, save these scars

Loving you was torture so low

You made me sick, but I only want you to know

Couldn’t turn me down? I call bull

You held my hand and told me that it was real

Pretty words, I should have known

That you would leave me all alone

But don’t you dare run to my Circus Rose….

This Circus is truely only for Circus Freaks like me

Circus Lily you’re not welcome, go home silently

I’m not out for blood, I’m in too much pain

Maybe I really love you, I don’t want to hurt you,

What’s there to gain?

~

The lily’s time was so brief

Impacted me so bad, gave me grief

I didn’t love her at first, then I fell for her hard

But then she ****** my heart and dragged me into the yard

She drew chalk outline around my skin

Told me that she lied, that it ain’t her failt I’m left again

“I never loved you, I only pretended, so what if I’m another flower on the list”

I’m so grief stricken I’m not even out for blood, but god, how you made me so-

Hurting you would hurt me too

So Circus Lily, you can’t deny, I really loved you


Is this a review?


  

Comments



User avatar
1404 Reviews

Points: 45
Reviews: 1404

Donate
Sun Oct 06, 2024 3:03 pm
View Likes
vampricone6783 wrote a review...



Hello there, Akira! I'm reviewing using the YWS S'more Method today!

Shalt we commence with the terrifying S’more?

Top Graham Cracker - The Circus Lily has returned. The fury had evaporated and there is only sorrow at what happened and what could have been. Love fades to dust, but is it really gone?

Slightly Burnt Marshmallow - You spelled “fault” wrong but it’s nothing. It’s just one little thing.

Chocolate Bar - This song feels sadder than the rest. Once the anger subsides, there is regret, confusion, and frustration. The ending gave me chills, for you say that even after everything, you still loved her. It’s difficult to let go of someone because they may have meant so much to you, but over time, it will get better.

Closing Graham Cracker - I really loved all of these circus songs, you put so much emotion behind them. The descriptions were detailed and enchanting, and I am very excited to see what else you will write. With that being said, I wish you…

A beautiful day/night! ^v^




AkiraEliza says...


haha, thanks!



vampricone6783 says...


You%u2019re welcome!



User avatar
94 Reviews

Points: 10082
Reviews: 94

Donate
Sat Oct 05, 2024 2:48 pm
Coffeewriter wrote a review...



Hey there Ella! Hruuu^^ DO NOT PULL ANOTHER ALL-NIGHTER BTW, IT IS REALLY BAD FOR YOU GET SOME SLEEP GIRLIE!!!!!!!^^
Now, I’ll keep it pretty short as you’ll probs fall asleep reading my usual “long” reviews haha. So, let’s get into the stuffity stuff!
First impressions, once again, I feel bad cause I can’t do anything else for you but I’m deeply sorry. I have learnt about heartbreak through dramas and I understand kind of-in my own way. I immediately understood the “meaning” of the poem and of course, I recognised the nicknames. Good news:it made for an AMAZING poem!!
*jazz hands, then stops cause it’s awkward and just weirdly smiles*


“ Pretty words, I should have known

That you would leave me all alone

But don’t you dare run to my Circus Rose….

This Circus is truely only for Circus Freaks like me

Circus Lily you’re not welcome, go home silently

I’m not out for blood, I’m in too much pain

Maybe I really love you, I don’t want to hurt you,

What’s there to gain? “



So many relatable quotes I could ramble on about. How honestly COLD people are..like even if a random person died horribly by their hands, they’d find a way to put the blame on someone else whichever way they could.
Some people only know how to sweet talk and say words that tickle your brain and make you kick your feet at night-they don’t know how to act or actually behave to make sure they don’t ruin a person’s kind gestures.
Like, I watched a video where it was a scene of a drama and the woman had a doctor husband I think and she was so happy for some reason so then she proceeded to made him a lovely lunch with a heart on the rice, individually picking garnish and placing it to make a heart. She was basically shown making a cute, love filled lunch and happily going to the bus stop and waiting for ages to personally deliver the lunch. Time skip, she’s shown going outside for some reason and in front of her eyes she sees her presumed husband, throwing her lunch in the bin with no remorse and slight disgust on his face. He sees her there and looks a bit shocked and then another time skip shows she’s washing that box-everything is dark and quiet around her house and she’s crying as she throws the box into the sink.

I don’t know how people can be so cold and disgusting, if someone makes you a lovely lunch and sorry..not even SOMEONE your WIFE makes you lunch so cutely like this who are you to do that?! You have to eat it even if you are so full you could die. You don’t know how these little gestures mean to people!!
When my grandma (who I only see once a year when I go to India) makes me food when she feels strong enough, I love it-her food is delicious and even if I am eating delicious take-out when my mum reminds me I always make sure to quickly eat even just a bite of her food in front of her just to make her happy. My grandparents whole life is me. Sometimes, even I don’t realise how much they depend on me to stay happy. It’s scary to think people don’t care what happens to their “loved ones”.



Sorry about the story there, I got heated lol.
Anyway, my point is-great concept and I really understand this. It’s beautiful!! I love this piece <3

Have a good day/night~^^~




AkiraEliza says...


I don't mind your reviews honestly. they're as long as Ravens and who doesn't like reading a long review for their work?
and dont worry, Lily left months ago. I'm just pushing songs I made out over the summer. I'm okay ^^
that story sounds horrible, but it's not the saddest I've heard. I mostly want to know what the woman did after washing the bowl.
and I don't mind the story. I like stories. I always tried to treat my grandma with love before she died.
you too ^^



Coffeewriter says...


Haha true :D
Oh that is good! Glad ur okay <3
FR I feel for the woman, omg same I hope the woman in the series got a happy ending<33333
Awwww. I%u2019m sorry for your loss.
<333333 hugzzzzz



AkiraEliza says...


so is it a clip from a series? I'll watch it, do you know what it's called? and thanks ^^ hugz.



Coffeewriter says...


IT TOOK ME AGES TO FIND THIS-
Love Heals
is the name of the c-drama. Series probs. xxxx



AkiraEliza says...


alright, thanks!



AkiraEliza says...


apparently I can watch it on prime. that's convenient. no need to hunt down a TV site on my compooter. now if I could pry my brother from the TV for at least five seconds....



Coffeewriter says...


Ahhhh lucky! Tell me how it isss



AkiraEliza says...


aw, you cant? I will!



Coffeewriter says...


I guess I could but my parents might say %u201Cit%u2019s not for me%u201D idk-



AkiraEliza says...


I hate parents who dictate what their kids watch like that-



Coffeewriter says...


Yeahh..I kinda get it but I AM MATURE ENOUGH, THEY DO NOT KNOW WHAT HAPPENS AT MY SCHOOL-



AkiraEliza says...


I heart eight year olds make out once. it was during one of those YouTube videos my little sister put on, where they share stories. it was by JustSharon. shes the type of YouTuber loved by four year olds, fourteen year olds, twenty four year olds, and fifty four year olds. all ages love her. so yeah. fun times :D



Coffeewriter says...


YOU WHAT-
I AM SO DUMBFOUNDED RN



AkiraEliza says...


translation: super gross, super inappropriate, super disappointing.



AkiraEliza says...


OH CRAP. I meant to say "heard" not "heart" YIKES-



Coffeewriter says...


YEAHH. That is just sad.
YEAHH lol I assumed but my daft brain could not put two and two together ofc.



User avatar
42 Reviews

Points: 44
Reviews: 42

Donate
Tue Oct 01, 2024 10:19 pm
theromanticchemist says...



PERFECTION




AkiraEliza says...


actually I aint proud of this one. now circus darts and circus scene... those are perfection.



theromanticchemist says...


I DONT CARE



AkiraEliza says...


WHY DONT YOU CARE



theromanticchemist says...


ITS PERFECTION IN MY EYES



AkiraEliza says...


WELL THANKS I GUESS I THINK HALF MY WORKS SUCK



Coffeewriter says...


AYY ELLA YOU DO NOT GET TO SAY THAT. SAY THAT AND THAT MEANS YOU GET YOUR FLUFFY PRIVILEGES TAKE AWAY. :D



AkiraEliza says...


I had privileges? oh yeah. bitch please I will still ignore you for two days :D starting..... on saturday! dun dun dunnnn!



Coffeewriter says...


You use fluffy to I still fearrr
Hmhmmmmm
Oh nooooo so saddddd



Coffeewriter says...


*instill



AkiraEliza says...


..... you want more tests I swear-



Coffeewriter says...


JOKES ON YOU NO WAY I HAVE MORE



AkiraEliza says...


hex hex, you got a test. vex, vex, study all night and you cant rest

and as for the allnighter thingy )before I read your long ass review) don't worry about me. I stayed up until about twelve thirty and then my computer decided to be bitchy and not work, so I ended up crashing. sorry I couldn't stay up all night to talk to you though :(



Coffeewriter says...


SHUT.UP.
Ahh that is good at least ur computer made u sleep xx
It is okay don%u2019t stress!



AkiraEliza says...


heheeeee by the fluffy invested in me.... you're fucked.
not good I was past the twelve o clock mark and well on my way to talk to you. and then my compooter ruined it X_X
okayyyy QwQ




People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one.
— Leo J. Burke