"I've been trying so hard" things fell apart, and you "couldn't put it back together"
But aren't you the one, who told me I'm not wanted?
You gave your heart, you gave me wings, but never told me how to fly
So much has been changed since your mask was severed
~
I never left, I begged you to stay
You were right, the scars hurt and ache
I'm not sure how much more petals I can take (when will I break?)
~
They wither 'round my heart, and into my eyes
"You insane obsessive bastard, go and die"
You up and left and refused to answer my why
You act . . . Like you . . . Deserve . . . To cry . . .
Well welcome to the circus, 'cause I run this show
I'm coming for blood 'cause my ignorance you stole
I'm in my room scratching at the walls 'cause I can't sleep
You screwed me up in the head once I let you in deep
What you regressed me to, Blossom, will never fully heal
I want back the heart that I begged you to steal
~
"you left me all alone, I should have known" You act like I stopped trying
"Please stay with me, please don't go,
you don't realize how much I need you" and so you said,
"I want you dead, get the hell away from me"
~
I never left, I begged you to stay
You were right, the scars hurt and ache
I'm not sure how much more petals I can take (when will I break?)
~
They wither 'round my heart, and into my eyes
"You insane obsessive bastard, go and die"
You up and left and refused to answer my why
You act . . . Like you . . . Deserve . . . To cry . . .
Well welcome to the circus, 'cause I run this show
I'm coming for blood 'cause my ignorance you stole
I'm in my room scratching at the walls 'cause I can't sleep
You screwed me in the head once I let you in deep
What you regressed me to, Blossom, will never fully heal
I want back the heart that I begged you to steal
~
I'm out for blood and I've had enough of the pain
I'll drag your heart from your chest, every wall will be stained
I promised to hold you close when you came
but you pushed me away so looks like you'll be broke again
Flower, flower, on the wall, nailed in vain, thorns like cat's claws...
~
I never left, I begged you to stay
You were right, the scars hurt and ache
I'm not sure how much more petals I can take (when will I break?)
~
They wither 'round my heart, and into my eyes
"You insane obsessive bastard, go and die"
You up and left and refused to answer my why
You act . . . Like you . . . Deserve . . . To cry . . .
Well welcome to the circus, 'cause I run this show
I'm coming for blood 'cause my ignorance you stole
I'm in my room scratching at the walls 'cause I can't sleep
You screwed me in the head once I let you in deep
What you regressed me to, Blossom, will never fully heal
I want back the heart that I begged you to steal
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Hai :3
This is full of so much emotion and intensity!! It's like I could feel the pain dripping from every word!! Even from the beginning, it’s the perfect setup for something that's about to get real deep and heart-wrenching. You really capture that feeling of being pushed to your limit here, waiting for everything to just collapse!! I feel like that's a common theme, but I'm loving what you have here!! It's a fresher take because of the cool eerie vibes I'm getting, especially with the circus theme.
This line !!!
It feels like betrayal turned to rage, where everything’s flipped, and you’re not going to be the victim anymore. I love that shift in tone!! It feels like it's a huge step for the narrator, like they're reclaiming the bad things that happened to them ~~ It's deeply personal, but it's also universal at the same time!! It's such a great way to convey how chaotic and maddening everything has become, as well as the want for control that they have. It's a good use of juxtaposition and contrast I think!!
I love the whole “Blossom” thing!! It feels so personal and specific, like there's history in that name, something that ties all that pain together. There's this push-pull between love and destruction, like you’re still holding onto pieces of that relationship even though it's broken. It's super cool considering all of the flower imagery you have too!! I think that's a good inclusion and it makes the lyrics come to life!! There's something that connects each theme, you know? That is great to see!!
Though, you mention the petals around your heart withering, which is amazing, but maybe you could expand on that metaphor ~~ Like, are they turning to dust? Are they cutting into you? I can't get a good feel for that image, as well as others, because they're falling flat. If you pushed that visual just a bit further, it could create an even stronger connection to the pain you're describing!! This could have more of a build-up to those big events. They can't come out of nowhere!!
This basically restates the whole theme, I love it!!
This song just goes so hard with the contrast between vulnerability and anger!! The scars, the petals, the thorns are all such good metaphors ~~ Like, it’s all vivid imagery that makes you feel every bit of that emotional turmoil. I can imagine myself right there in your shoes when I read this. Honestly, this is like an anthem for heartbreak mixed with revenge!! Amazing work with this!! ^_^
- Payton
thanks for the review! I'm glad you like it. I'm also sorry I couldn't participate in review day. mom decided to go control freak. when's the next review day? do you know?
Hello there, Akira! I'm reviewing using the YWS S'more Method today!
Shalt we commence with the frightful S’more?
Top Graham Cracker - The narrator has her circus blood all over the wall, and as the jester cries, her anger fuels, for the jester was the one who had reduced her in the very first place.
Slightly Burnt Marshmallow - This is fine, I’m not recommending anything. If you want to edit it, go ahead, but I personally don’t think that it needs editing.
Chocolate Bar - While I was reading this, I got reminded of your older songs. I like how you referenced the flowers of the other songs, and the part of where the narrator wants her heart back from the jester. Maybe I’m remembering this wrong, but I think that she begged them to take her heart, only for it to all unfold horribly.
Closing Graham Cracker - The circus blood stains the walls, and it’s set deep in the narrator’s heart. She’s trying to claw her way out, but still, the walls close in. The jester haunts her, and is mocking her. I enjoyed reading this, it was a delightfully dark read. :>
I wish you a marvelous day/night! ^v^
NUH uh, you got it correct! there are references! with only a limited amount of songs left, I thought I might leave it a bit nostalgic. its probably directed towards me than anyone. now that the beloved circus freaks situation is glossing over, she has more time to replay the memories
because, you should know more than anyone, these songs tell a story. so yeah!
Okay then!