Circus Goodbye
I can’t remember last time things were fine
You actin’ like lovin’ hard was a crime
Lily, I don’t think you miss me, but
I know that I never told you to walk out
Straight out that door and cut me off
You moved on mighty quick with someone new
I just hoped you aren’t fakin’ it,
like you were when I was with you
~
Rose, nah, she don’t want me that way
I think it’s cause I tell her to leave then tell her to stay
No, I, don’t know what’s the problem with me
Dragon Fruit’s always been too good, too sweet
I’m still wondering if losing my bouquet was a reality
~
I can’t remember last time things were fine
You actin’ like lovin’ hard was a crime
Lily, I don’t think you miss me, but
I know that I never told you to walk out
Straight out that door and cut me off
You moved on mighty quick with someone new
I just hoped you aren’t fakin’ it,
like you were when I was with you
~
Flowers, they, always go one by one
I’m left cleaning up after shriveled petals,
Tell me, when can I be done?
Last night, we never got the chance to talk things out
Hey look I’ll love you I’m right here, what’s this about?
~
I can’t remember last time things were fine
You actin’ like lovin’ hard was a crime
Lily, I don’t think you miss me, but
I know that I never told you to walk out
Straight out that door and cut me off
You moved on mighty quick with someone new
I just hoped you aren’t fakin’ it,
like you were when I was with you
~
It ain’t good enough no more
I want it all but don’t want things to change
I don’t even know what’s going on in my life
I only know you need to put down that knife
Your pain ain’t worth it, I’m right here
Who needs a Lily when all flowers are ugly when the wither?
Be the only home that I know
Dragon Fruit nowadays is all that I need now
~
I can’t remember last time things were fine
You actin’ like lovin’ hard was a crime
Lily, I don’t think you miss me, but
I know that I never told you to walk out
Straight out that door and cut me off
You moved on mighty quick with someone new
I just hoped you aren’t fakin’ it,
like you were when I was with you
~
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
Hello there, Akira! I'm reviewing using the YWS S'more Method today!
Shalt we commence with the ghostly S’more?
Top Graham Cracker - The narrator parts with the Circus Lily, wishing that their love could have lasted longer than it did, that it could have gone on and on. But alas, it is not to be.
Slightly Burnt Marshmallow - I think that you meant to write “they” in front of wither, but that’s just one little thing.
Chocolate Bar - I love the lines where all the narrator wants is for Lily to really love who she is with, so that there is no sorrow and anger left behind. This shows that the narrator cares for having more peace and that the love never truly dies. Love shines like the blade of a knife, yet it cuts so deep. I found this to be very elegantly written.
Closing Graham Cracker - It finishes off with a circus goodbye (Or does it? If you want to write more then I’ll read it but if not then this is fine), with everyone going on their separate ways. Words are left unsaid, lingering in the air. Perhaps it’s better that way, but still, it hurts…
I wish you a sparkling day/night! ^v^
nope! no where near the end yet! you'll be surprised with the ending.
I really enjoyed
reading your poem
It is very well written
Please continue to write
More poems
Nice poem written by the author.
"I can’t remember last time things were fine
You actin’ like lovin’ hard was a crime"
Once that strong bond of love they had is now gone, there was a time no one could separate them but now, to make them come back together seems like an impossible task (to me). Author is unable to remember the last time they had spent happy days together. I believe 'loving is a crime', if you don't love the person with all your heart and with full devotion, in that case, love is for sure one of the greatest crime.
" Dragon Fruit nowadays is all that I need now"
I am happy the author has someone by their side, but I still think the author hasn't recovered from his/her past memories.
Your poems are always amazing (specially this Circus series)
Keep it up.
Waiting for more.
Thank you.
thanks! I'm surprised that you reviewed this. I thought you stopped reading the series. it's been a hot minute since I got a review from you.