Young Writers Society

Here to review!

I am taking a gander at poems. I'm new at poems, and i don't really like reviewing them, but I want to try once more and see how it feels.

I like this poem a lot, even though I don't understand some of the second language stuff. It is really deep, porbably like most of your poems, so I really don't need to say that, but I did anyway!

I am thinking that this poem is about a trial. Forgive me if I'm wrong, but orange jump suits and the judges parts seemed to really stand out about me.

For me, reviewing a poem is about giving your opinion on what the poem is about to give the poet a different view about their work. So that's what I am gonna do.

For me, this poem is all about being different from the status quo. Even with all these things going against them, this person is trying to be different, not be defiant, just for his/her own personal difference.

I hope I have given you a different insight to this poem. I really like it.

Thanks,
Omniyus.

-friendly princess wave-

Kitty!

I love acrostics, like a nostalgic childhood macNcheese staple, yumness. Immediately, I am liking the sounds here, the blues and the mutes and the suits, and the break into spanish kinda work together nice.

My biggest complaint with this is that when you're doing something compact, each word needs to strike as anvils and ring with a reverbation of power and image and meaning. Maybe I expect too much :3 So, when you have "denim" and "blues" I'll give it to ya, but then mute? It's like saying a piano is an instrument, or a rainbow is bright. I feel like I'm missing something here.

The next line I can dig, because I can see how they can be "muted" in the sense that it is washed and faded, but the orange suits just contradict that entire thought process. I really feel like I'm missing a piece of the puzzle here, and when I get to the end I'm wondering if that was the point all along. But then I feel cheated, like reading a story or watching a movie only to realize that the entire novel or the entire 2hour theatrical fare was a dream all along, it's like "oh the meaning of this is that there is no meaning" kind of thing.

I'm wondering if the mannequin is the speaker all along? That would be kind of neat. At first I felt as though the speaker comments upon mannequins, but that "unde the skin / I am different" line kind of implies that the speaker belongs to this group of mannequins, and if so, I like that much better, because then it brings context to the oranges suits/prisoners line that I at first felt came out of nowhere/random. But I still dunno where the spanish comes into it, unless there's some assumed knowledge that mannequins are made in mexico or something.

...

Then again. If there is such knowledge, then this is genius


~ as always, Audy