Staring up at Hawkscreech let a horrible feeling sink into the omen-granted pair. Bluejay was speechless - but Stormcloud was bursting with words.
"How dare you follow us into the air ducts!" yowled Stormcloud angrily. "You know you're unwanted and uninvited here. How come you decided to show up behind us? I thought I made it clear at 7:15 this evening that you were to find your own way out of this place after we left! Now you're going to make things so much harder than they are already!" The angry she-cat was a volcano erupting. But Hawkscreech was acting so amused.
"Look, the little dreamy kitten's having a hissy-fit," taunted Hawkscreech. "You both knew very well it was a bad idea to exit this way. It's harder than escaping through the front door, you know. He has a cat door. Strays wander in and he experiments. That's how the other cats got into those cages on the lower shelves. You can open cages, read human signs and numbers, but you can't see there's a cat door?" Hawkscreech addressed Bluejay with the last sentence.
Bluejay's ears drooped and his eyes dropped to his paws. He was a statue of ashamed embarrassment, and Stormcloud couldn't bear to ever see her companion this way. The gray she-cat lashed out her extended claws and scraped Hawkscreech's right eye. Stormcloud gave a quick comforting lick to Bluejay's forehead before being scratched in the haunches by her enemy.
And so the battle began.
Stormcloud called out in anger and tackled her opponent, haunches bleeding but bravery exploding. Hawkscreech fought back fiercely, but the size of the tom's attacker exceeded his own size, making it a tough struggle for him.
Bluejay had abandoned his shame. Instead fear and amazement mingled together in the void space left by his embarrassment. Stormcloud was being injured, and he couldn't let that happen. But then again, Stormcloud's temper was short. She loved to be independent, and if Bluejay stepped in to help her, Stormcloud might get angry at him. Also, if Stormcloud needed Bluejay's help and set aside her pride, him avoiding the fight would make her angry as well. Bluejay had no idea what to do. Help, or not help?
The answer to Bluejay's dilemma was instantly revealed. "I need backup!" hissed Stormcloud as she got clawed in the eye by Hawkscreech. As much as Bluejay hated violence, he knew what he had to do. The blue tom leaped into the small fray. He slashed Hawkscreech with his claws, then delivered a deep bite to Hawkscreech's flank.
Stormcloud was glad to have the assistance of her best friend. As much as it stung to put her needs in front of her pride, she was very happy that she shared a dream with Bluejay and didn't have to go through this alone.
Bluejay had been brutally attacked by the vicious former leader of the Stray Corporation. Red dripped from Bluejay's pelt, but he continued to fight. Suddenly Bluejay heard a voice.
"Goodbye!"
Bluejay was instantly confused. Why was this unfamiliar voice bidding him adieu?
Suddenly everything went black. Just before his mind stopped working, Bluejay understood why the voice had said goodbye. Was this his end?
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137,476 Literary Works • 672,034 Reviews
Hello
Great job! It looks like all I wanted to say was mentioned by other "reviewers" though. I do understand now why the word goodbye was said, but I think you should try to make it a little more clearer in your story. 
Just a suggestion though. 
Great job, and keep writing! 
This is a fabulous chapter!!
~Snazzy
I will definitely try to make things a bit clearer. Thanks for the suggestion!
And for the reviews and likes! 
Oh my goodness, you've spammed my notifications with positiveness! (That isn't a word, but... I like making up words. 
) By the way, I fear I don't say this enough -- you're an amazing writer and reviewer! Congratulations again on the third star, too! 
Thank you!
heeeeeeey :3 puppys back for another (late) review! im in desprete need of points right now, since the 2nd movie came out for HTTYD and I need to get the 1st book DONE. I don't even have chapter 4 ready, so its review time
everything sounds right and that cats' names are very creative. he shouldn't judge you on what names you choose! my gosh... ANYWHO! I didn't notice any spelling mistakes (and I almost spelled 'spelling' as 'speeling' right there XD) and grammar was right on the money! *puts your grammar on a 5 dollar bill* SEE!?
First of all, ignore r4p17
Second, I'm a little confused with this:
1) I don't know what 'adieu' means, so don't worry about that
2) why was someone random saying 'goodbye'?
Anything else, you either spotted out, or others corrected it for you.
Great job once again, Em101cats!
Keep writing!
~puppys3117~
Adieu means goodbye, and the voice was Hawkscreech's - as the blackness was a faint caused by one of Hawkscreech's attacks
and thanks for the review!
np and thx for explaining
No problem.
Knight r4 here to review. I hope this helps
"I thought I made it clear at 7:15 this evening..." you don't have to be this particular.
"Hawkscreech addressed Bluejay with the last sentence." This could have been written better. When I read it with the rest of the paragraph it doesn't really flow well.
Stormcloud gave a quick comforting lick to Bluejay's forehead before being scratched in the haunches by her enemy. I though this was out of place. Why, all of a sudden would she lick Bluejay? (My AE [Alter Ego] doesn't think you have good names for your cats by the way). That would be like a husband holding his wife's hand in the middle of a brawl.
"And so the battle began." First off, you should never start a paragraph (or sentence if you are a rigid grammarian) with a conjunction. This is also a bit "telly". You should either move it to th previous paragraph or just get rid of it altogether.
"Stormcloud called out in anger..." I would change "called" to cried if I were you.
"Stormcloud was being injured, and he couldn't let that happen." This is another tell sentence. I would revise most of the rest of that paragraph as well.
"Bluejay was instantly confused." I think you need to work on your use of the word "instantly". Here it is completely out of place.
Overall I thought that this was alright. It is interestesting that you used cats. I personally think that genre of fantasy tends to be a repeat of every other book fitting into that category.
I think you could do a better job of keeping the audiences attention. This didn't really seem dramatic. Also I think you could of done a better job of showing what the characters were thinking though all of this instead of stating it.
I am sorry for all the nitpicks. You do a pretty good job of showing what was happening though I thought you could have added some more intensity and.
There is some potential to this story if you just add a bit more detail about what is happening. Also I didn't feel like a lot happened for this being chapter twelve because it was so short.
Thanks for the suggestions. And remember to tell your Alter Ego that the cats have strange names because of their culture. They're cats, not humans. If you read the Warriors series that this series is somewhat inspired by, you'll see what the cats have quite different names.
That* (not what) Sorry, my keyboard is messed up a bit.
I was frazzled at the last chapter! Now I can't wait for the next chapter! I yearn to read more! I guess when you have all the chapters of a book, you take it for granted. And when you don't, you are left hanging. And what voice said goodbye? I really want to read the next chapter! Keep going! Keep going!
Thanks
Hey!
All right, so, I'm pretty speechless about this chapter. For one, no nitpicks (that usually happens anyways), and for two, such a dramatic chapter!
It seems as though I'm saying this all the time today - but - I think this is your best chapter yet! I just love the metaphors snuck in there (yesh, yesh there was metaphors) and the imagery was beautiful!
Also, I love the ending! You left me hanging... Just wow. I love love love the suspense, and I can't wait to see what will happen to Bluejay?
I seriously don't have much input for this chapter, I really am speechless. You did a great job, and I can see you put a lot of effort into this piece.
Great job, sorry I might've not helped.
WillowPaw1~
Thanks so much
And you help a lot even without critiquing anything - your encouragement seems to help me build self-confidence 
Thank you for that! I have had a lot of responses to writings that are not so nice. *Coughcough"I'mGoingToBeHonestToTheNerdsOutThere"coughcoughFWORDcoughcough*
xD
Sometimes I have coughing fits - and accusations come along with them
Although this isn't an accusation, it's a statement that someone cussed in the comment section there. Uncensored, actually, but then it was censored by YWS staff.
Wow. Man, that's not very nice...
I know, but I guess I understood why they were offended. But ranting and throwing around cuss words on someone's writing without needing to isn't the way to solve problems, now is it?
No, it isn't. -.-
Exactly. You can even visit that comment section and find the comment. I think you'll know it when you see it, it's hard to miss *'s with an f in front of them.
I read it already....
Good, then you saw what happened under it?
I think so. :3 You commented? Idk
There was a bit of a conversation
Oh, my xD