Bluejay and Stormcloud waited on the outskirts of the city in the harshly bright daylight. They were anticipating the right moment: for Hawkscreech to leave the alley. They watched the alley for hours. Finally, Hawkscreech padded out alone. It was their moment, their move.
The two cats leaped into the alley, vaulting onto boxes full of empty air, then into the alley.
The strays glanced up, surprised to see the two omen-granted cats back in alleyways that were under rule of Hawkscreech.
"Please, you need to come with us. And you need to come fast. It's happening tomorrow. If we come empty handed, what will Angel Feather, Dark As Night and Fire say? Will they think we are too lazy to convince the Corporation to escape to safety? Please. We must not leave without our strays," Stormcloud meowed. Bluejay finished with a nod.
The cats looked at one another. They had all secretly left from fear of what Hawkscreech would do, even after being warned not to influence their choices. Secretly, mostly all of them believed these cats, but they were deeply afraid of what lay outside the comforting city walls. But slowly, each and every cat... nodded.
They began their journey.
~~~
Later, Hawkscreech was heading back to the food alley with a prized possession: a full fish from the fish market. He dropped his fish in amazement and lay perfectly still. Even when some rats came along and stole his fish, he did not move, even though he saw their robbery.
His cats were all gone!
He realized, maybe they were in a different alley. But he checked every single alley and ended up fruitless. The strays had disappeared. Even the little kittens, young and old, were gone. And he knew they were not dead, for he found no bodies. He only found nothing, no trace of them had been left behind. Suddenly he realized what had happened.
"I WILL RIP APART THOSE EVIL, STRAY-STEALING LEADERSHIP-HUNGRY JEALOUS FELINES WHEN I GET TO THEM!" And with that, he dashed out of the alley, streaking out of the city to find the tracks of his valuable lost Stray Corporation. He wanted revenge more than anything in the world right now.
End of chapter
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Hello....again....again...
Hawkscreech is a good name for him. It just sounds evil!
I wasn't expecting all of the cats to actually believe Bluejay and Stormcloud! It was a great turn in events! I couldn't find anything to correct in this! It was all fabulous! I love the way you ended-
Will he recruit other strays along the way so he can kill them? But don't tell me yet!
I can't wait to read the next chapters. Keep writing this book!


I love this!!!
"He wanted revenge more than anything in the world right now."
So I am wondering, will Hawkscreech kill any of them? How can he? He is one cat, and they are....well....more than one cat!
~Snazzy
Thanks so much! You're the best!!!

The action grows more and more intense! First no strays go, then they all go, and their leader is turned against them! I can't predict what is going to happen next, SO much action! I love a book where the action keeps going and increasing! I MUST read chapter five now, so much to read in so little time. And I have found a new novel that captivates my interest, And those are hard to come by! I will not stop reading if you don't stop writing!
What I love about your story is the characters. They each have their very own personalities; Hawkscreech sounds like a big jerk who'll get mad easily (obviously, from the last pears graph), Stormcloud seems pretty brave, and Bluejay is kind of... there, but he (it's a he, right?) has his very own spunk.
Yay, you changed between the different cats perspectives! First you showed Stormcloud and Bluejay's, then you went onto Hawkscreech's.
Your grammar and spelling is pretty good (as usual), so I won't say anything more about that.
I was thinking of some cat names, if you want to use one of these you can:
Moonpelt, or something with 'moon'
Silverlight - I don't know, I thought it sounded cool
Earthpaw - you know, for like the kits
Dreadclaw - maybe a cat who is like in a bad mood?
Okay, that's it for names.
You did a good job with this chapter, can't wait for more!!
~ WillowPaw1
Glad you liked it, and thanks for the name ideas! I already have chapter five if you want to review it. It's the most suspenseful one yet, I think.
! And in honor of you, I named a cat Willowfur 
WHOOPIE!! Thank so much! I think I reviewed it already but I'll make sure
Hello, I'm gonna give you a short review!
You're pretty good at keeping the reader interested in your work, but that may be because of the length of the chapters. You really need to add more details to your story, describe the sourroundings a bit more. I'm bad at describing things, so I'll give you some examples.
How was the alley? The weather and time? Also, I think you're repeating yourself too much here with using the word 'wait'' three sentences in a row, try to edit it a little bit. For examples use two of your sentences combined to get rid of 'waited'.
Also the part where you write in caps, I suggest you to decaps it and rather write something like:
Also, I didn't really get this sentence. Maybe it's because I'm bad at English?
First you are telling the reader that they leaped into the alley, then you are telling they vaulted onto boxes full of empty air, then into the alley again?
Just get some more details mainly, and you'll do great.
I haven't read all of your previous chapters, but after what I have read, your plot seems pretty good, and has a lot potential.
Good luck with your next chapters, and I hope this review helped you!
- Zontafer
Thanks for your concern, I will consider that. I know a lot of people have pounded me about descriptions. But you see, the plot (hint hint nudge nudge) is to change soon, so I was brief with the alley. As for describing and naming the extra cats, their names are to be slowly revealed at time. As for not describing the time, so sorry! Maybe I should change that :/ but thanks!
Ok, I changed the too many waits problem. In fact thank you for pointing that out, I SOOOO didn't think that through.
Okay I get most of it now.
Your welcome!
Oh and I explained what time it is too. Thanks for pointing out my mistakes, people like you are what make me improve!
Hehe no problem. Thats what a review is for, right?
Good luck further on!
Thanks you too!
omg, Omg, AND OMG!!!!!!! still not a big warrior cat fan but im loving this! heres the review!
Spelling: PERFECT! (how much more clear can i get on that?)
Grammer: amazing!
Suspence: im sitting on pins and needles THERES SO MUCH!!!!!
Rating: STARS: 5, 1 TO 10: 10!!!
and i giggled a little at the last paragraph cuz of what he says even tho its not supposed to be funny lol
Hope u keep doing what ur doing!
~puppys3117~
Thanks so much you're so nice! Lol I kinda laughed at what Hawkscreech says too. I love your new avatar too!! Thanks and I will be keeping up on this series till it's done
awesome! and ur welcome! and thx for liking my avatar (im obsessed with wolves O_o XD)
Lol me too I read this series called Wolves Of The Beyond its from the author of the Guardians of GaHoole movie! It's epic.
I LOVE THAT MOVIE BUT MY BRO THINKS ITS SCARY AND SINCE WE MOVED ITS NOT ON THE RECORDED LIST D:
Aww that stinks. If there's a library near you, check out the novel section for Wolves of the Beyond. If you want to. You would like it, although a few times it gets a little graphic (Hunting, fighting with outclanners, you know cuz they're wolves) but other than that it's EPIC.
cool and theres one really close to me!
Cool!