The ducts were cold, breezy, dusty and small. Stormcloud, being big for her kind, had to lay down flat and push herself forward with her back legs just to fit in there and make some progress at the same time. Bluejay had to crouch, but he had more room than poor Stormcloud.
The air ducts had a rectangular shape. The walls, ceiling, and floor were all gray. Little squares of the freezing cold gray metal were cut out and nailed into their places.
As Bluejay was waddling along in his squished-down position, he stopped to listen. Stormcloud bumped into him, but he ignored that. "What are you looking at? We have to get out of here, quickly!" she hissed at Bluejay. But she wasn't mad at him. She was rather annoyed, but the she-cat could hold in her patience for a little longer.
"I'm not looking. I'm listening. Sh, you'll hear it," said the blue tom. So Stormcloud listened quietly. And she heard it.
The same noise that Bluejay made as soon as his paws hit the sheets of metal flooring. Click, clack, click, clack. Claws against the cold, sterile gray squares. Bluejay looked at Stormcloud. Stormcloud looked at Bluejay. They didn't have to say one word. They knew what to do. Run.
Stormcloud couldn't move as fast as Bluejay, and Bluejay was too small to be able to help. So instead of kicking along slowly like she was doing before, Stormcloud rammed her head up. It broke a square off. She bit the squares of thin gray steel and tore them off of their hinges. It gave her enough room to catch up to Bluejay, who was scrambling towards the end of the duct.
It was another square, but bigger than the harshly cold sheets of metal that they had encountered the whole time. It was like the entrance to the duct, but bigger. It was where other duct tunnels branched off to get the fresh air to the other rooms of the building. Air conditioning.
Stormcloud and Bluejay both stopped. They could hear their follower's claws clicking on the steel rectangles, faster and faster. The two strays had to work fast or their pursuer would catch up. The way their chaser kept speeding up rapidly told the omen cats he or she was running after them. And something deep inside the two companions told them that whatever was fueling their pursuer to chase them wasn't a good thing. They had to escape whoever was behind them.
Stormcloud instantly took to trying to pull off the covering that led to the outside. Bluejay knew that would take longer, so he stuck his claw in a small hole on a screw and twisted. After four or five quick twists, the screw came right out. Stormcloud quickly caught on and did the same thing to another screw. Soon all four screws were off. A strong gust of wind forced the cats to hold on with their claws.
With all their might, the two dream sharers held on for dear life. Hopefully their follower had encountered the gale of wind too, and it had pushed the stranger back. Suddenly the metal cover flew off, unable to cling to the opening anymore without its screws. It smacked right into Stormcloud and Bluejay, blowing them back. Everything went black for a few seconds.
Bluejay pushed the steel screen off of himself and Stormcloud. Both snapped to attention. Unfortunately for the omen cats, the metal screen had blown them right to their chaser.
"Hello, old friends," said Hawkscreech, amusement in his eyes. What fun it was to see his enemies blow right into his paws.
End of chapter
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Hello!
*hits Hawkscreech with hand*
Again, another well written chapter!
I couldn't find anything to correct in this!!
Great job, and keep writing!!


NONONONONOOOOOOO!!!!!! No Hawkscreech!!!!
~Snazzy
Thanks! That's generally the reaction this chapter gets. Thanks so much for all the reviews!
AHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I bet that I look quite frazzled.
Haiiii!
Quick Nitpicks
These are both the starting of the first two paragraphs. They both start with "the ducts were" so maybe vary it a little?
Where the period and the and are, I seriously think you should combine the two sentences. It just sounds better when they are both combined, and with it and period then and it just seems a little slower then choppy. (You don't need to change it, but I think it might sound better).
Comma after wind.
Besides that, I really thought this chapter was suspenseful. Based on the previous chapter, I knew that it was Hawkscreech, but I was eager and excited and nervous to see what would happen to Stormcloud and Bluejay.
I can't wait for the next chapter!
WillowPaw1~
Thanks!
RUN, CATS, RUN!!! puppys3117 back for another review! sorry again for another late review x.x just now read it so yea. I can imagine Stormcloud and Bluejay getting hit with that steel screen XD im not sure why, but I laughed when I read that part lol. - Stormcloud wiggles through vent- XDDDDD i can also see Hawkscreech with those bright eyes, staring at the too omen-cats. I noticed no spelling errors so good for you. same with grammar. one thing that bothered me a little:

With all their might, the two dream sharers held on for dear life. Hopefully their follower had encountered the gale of wind too and it had pushed them back.
1) dream sharers sounds strange to me. its just my brain and its sounding of words. no needed to change it if you don't want to.
2) there needs to be commas and after 'too'. and in this sentence, i thought we were talking about the 'follower' getting blown back, not it having "...pushed them back."
those are my only nitpicks :3 you're disgrace to nitpickers around the world!!!
keep it up girly
~puppys3117~
Thanks! I'll add in the comma. I was running out of describing words, so instead of omen cats or omen-granted cats, I did dream sharers because they shared the omen dream. And the "them" is the follower, since at that part they don't know who the follower is, so I didn't want to reveal who it was until the suspenseful cliffhanger at the end. Maybe I'll change it later
thanks!
thx for explaining
No prob! I just edited some of it to make it sound better according to you and Willowpaw's nitpicks.
Yay