Young Writers Society

Home » Literary works » Poetry » General

E - Everyone

Weeping Willow

by StealTheWorld


Weeping Willow.

Hold your pillow.

Hide and fight.

Embrace the night.

Weeping Willow.

Smoky billow.

Float around.

Fall back down.

Weeping Willow.

Lonely widow.

Broken dreams.

Poisoned streams.

Weeping Willow.

Never will grow.

Shredded wings.

Puppet strings.

Weeping Willow.


Note: You are not logged in, but you can still leave a comment or review. Before it shows up, a moderator will need to approve your comment (this is only a safeguard against spambots). Leave your email if you would like to be notified when your message is approved.







Is this a review?


  

Comments



User avatar
433 Reviews


Points: 13351
Reviews: 433

Donate
Fri Jan 10, 2014 3:03 pm
TakeThatYouFiend wrote a review...



Top Notch!
This, unlike the previous poem's of yours I have reviewed, has a rather restful theme, and the rhythm works really well, and I would go as far as to say it is your writting style, I am talking about the single unrealated clauses that add up to a whole theme. I particularly "Broken dreams. Poisoned streams" and "Puppet strings." because of the fantastic imagery they conjour up.
Keep on writing!
Take That You Fiend!






Wow. Thank you so much for all the reads/reviews on my works as of late :) they really help!





Your welcome! I tend to poetry review bomb people! :-)



User avatar
20 Reviews


Points: 171
Reviews: 20

Donate
Sun Dec 29, 2013 11:57 pm
Pamplemousse wrote a review...



Hello, Lillie here to do a review to hopefully end strong for EUS!

Well, I really liked this poem, although I ended up singing it. I loved how you compared the weeping willow tree to things that are apparently "Bad" in life. It made me think of my dad when I read this poem. My father is an alcoholic that I haven't seen since I was eight, not to get off topic...

Anyways, I couldn't really find anything wrong with the poem, except for this one thing that is really bugging me. It was lines 7-8... THEY DON'T RHYME LIKE THE REST OF THE POEM! D: D: D: That is all.

Overall, this was a really great poem, and I hope you keep writing!!

Keep Writing,

~Lillie <3




Random avatar

Points: 5430
Reviews: 88

Donate
Sun Dec 29, 2013 11:53 pm
Gummy wrote a review...



What do you call a fixed-verse poem that follows a syllable pattern but doesn't follow a single rule? I digress. I love this poem anyway.

Anyway, I like this poem! It's catchy! I really liked the whole "forest" or "woods" theme you have going on here. It gives meaning to this poem, and enhances the feeling. The grammar is pristine, the form is excellently done, and it really caught my attention throughout the whole piece!

I expect to read more from you in the future! As always, take care, and remember: Practice is key!




User avatar
351 Reviews


Points: 11482
Reviews: 351

Donate
Thu Dec 26, 2013 5:00 am
Kanome wrote a review...



Hello, xDarkHeart27x

Honestly, this poem made me dance for real xDD
It just sounded so catchy just now, but I think this poem is about something serious so I was trying not to laugh.

I love this poem honestly, it flows really well.

Another thing, I kinda can hear this poem being sung by someone. I don't know why, but I just do.

I don't see any errors in the poem so you are good to go!

Keep up the hard work! ~ <3

-K




User avatar
16 Reviews


Points: 0
Reviews: 16

Donate
Wed Dec 25, 2013 5:13 pm
yadanialler says...



i loved this poem. keep the hard work




User avatar
83 Reviews


Points: 1115
Reviews: 83

Donate
Tue Dec 24, 2013 8:31 am
skorlir wrote a review...



The imagery is certainly varied. I have the feeling this poem either holds little meaning - and so it just rhymes nicely and is nothing more than I can see here - or hides a meaning I cannot comprehend for lack of information.

Some poetry is meant more for the writer than the reader. I doubt this poem is, of the two varieties I said it could be, the first sort. I simply don't believe that. I think it's of the second sort - there's some hidden meaning, but hidden too well for a reader to be expected to extract meaning without just... well, guessing.

So I won't guess. But since the lines are quite short, and the imagery loosely connected (though pretty vivid), I've honestly not much to critique.

I will say this: were the imagery of this poem to tell some fantastic metaphorical story, I should wish there might be some lines to suggest a little meaning, to tie things together. Apart from the mysterious weeping willow that fades in between lines of what seems nonsense rhymes, I haven't a clue what could bring all these pictures together into a cohesive whole.






It was, in fact, written for the reader. More precisely, for one specific reader. I get that most wouldn't understand it, so I'll just say this:

I wrote this for a boy I know. Every word in this poem is from something he's said to me or what I've noticed about him before he left us. Unfortunately, he never got around to reading it but that's the gist of it.

I'm happy to answer any questions you might have about the poem through PM. Have a great day and Merry Christmas! :)



skorlir says...


Glad to know. It seems often that poems like this are written with specific intent.




Kindness is the language the deaf can hear and the blind can see.
— Mark Twain