Friends
Silly Means
Loving Caring Listening
Soul-mates Companions Fellows Allies
Parting Joining Crowding
Promise Remember
Reunited.
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Canary word: Present
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137,699 Literary Works • 672,062 Reviews
What?is all i got to say. I don't know who or what these is. it looks like a Crap
that's just written on paper, just some lines that does't make sense or give me an image or something. I think these is about reunited, but if these is please explain more in these poem. im sorry to say but you can do better than these knowing that i don't know you. these work write here make writers look like crap and they don't know nothing please do better than this. I understand the getting back together part but how, why Your living out detail. Make these better, because you can do better an this. This is my Review, now im done. THank you!
Well,try look at diamante poetry first,to get know about the pattern etc
First of let me say the theme of this poem is swell. But here comes the review part:
The poem is consistent it has not rhythm, at least not one i could pick up. there are no commas or periods until the end, which i feel in some places there should be. Every word is capitalized except for "mates" and if you don't have any commas or periods the format of the poem can look weird and doesn't make send. Basically it just looks like you listed a whole bunch of different words without any meaning, it didn't capture and pull me in as a reader. Don't take what I'm saying as an insult, you have potential to be a great writer just keep working at it.
My dear, diamante poetry indeed, doesn't have rhythm^^
This poem is short. It's simple.
It's wonderful.
There are few words in it, but every word brought back a memory of a reunion. Splendid diction throughout! There's something wonderful about a friend that you can be apart from for years, but when visit it feels like you never left.
I like how you talk about the silliness and the promises and the caring. They are all aspects of a good friendship. And I like how you brought in words like parting that make me think of saying goodbye & words like joining which made me think of saying hello.
Bravo!
Knight Dragon, here to review!
Technical:
Are you going for a specific shape with this poem? Or is it just supposed to be as it is? Also, are you going for a symmetrical beat pattern? If you are, the pattern's off. It should be 2, 4, 6, 8, 6, 4, 2, but it's not. Second line is 3 beats, third is 7, fifth is 8, sixth is 5, and seventh is 3. But then again that may not be what you're going for.
So far as reading flow goes, the middle line (fourth) reads the most akward because of the "forced, leaves". But it fits the beat pattern, so I think if you followed the beat pattern it'd fit better.
Hope this helps!
Thanks for review! I'm learning how to make a diamante poem,but it was so awful XD.I appreciated much^^
I hate having to put my poems in shapes or patterns.. It's just a huge headache..