Operation Imperial ch-10

by rishabh

Published August 13, 2013

E - Everyone

In operation imperial

10.

Tough love

Are you a drug addict? If yes, then you immediately need a tough love. In India, drug addiction is very common problem. Especially college students consume this life threatening stuff in very vast amount. For them it is a way to forget the assignments, backs, break ups, etc. Most of the time, we see teenagers lying on the floor, stairs, and even inside the hostel. As a youth, we have to realise our rightful duty towards our nation. We are making our country a worst place- full of smoke and syringes. Indian youth has lot of potential but we are ignoring it. We are going in that direction where we only face death in return.

Inside the college, annual fest ‘Sangam’ was about to begin. It was my first and last fest. The decoration was awesome, whole univ was looking nice. In addition, I was rehearsing my lines repeatedly, Myra and me; we had to host the fest in front of the faculties, chief guest hon’ble chief minister sahib, and students. I was shivering from top to bottom; all the negative thoughts were coming back and forth in my mind.

“If I forget my lines, then what will happen?” I was talking to my mirror image.

At the same time prof. gupta entered into my room. After signalling his finger towards the wall clock, he said:

“Hey, fest is about to begin. What are you doing here? Go on the stage.”

“Yeah… still 45 minutes are there on the safe side. Let me rehearse, don’t you see I am nervous.” I said.

“Are you nuts? We have to collect the bookays from MBA block first. So let it go, give your lines some time to settle down in your empty brain.” He chided me.

I took that paper and started recalling my lines (loudly) on our way to MBA block.

“Ratan, don’t lose your focus. More you see this grotty paper, more you feel unconfident.”

I was busy in recalling my lines; my all focus was on Myra. I had to host the show with her so how could I forget my lines. I wanted to present my each line with the correct timing.

“Listen, first we fetch all bookays from MBA block then we have to go outside to give all this stuff to President Sir.” prof. explained his plan.

“Ok, sir but right now I am feeling panicky, my throat is all dry.” I said. My whole body was shivering as if I caught by some high voltage fever.

“Are you out of your mind? I am explaining you the fucking strategy and you are talking nonsense.” He chided me, second time during the fest.

I remained silent after watching his face. When he got angry, his face automatically converts into shahnaz hussain’s face, means very scary.

However, thousands of students gathered in the field to enjoy the fest, to listen some rock bands, to groove with the DJ etc. During the fest imperial looks like other (normal) colleges. Students dressed smartly, especially you found girls with extraordinary fashion in the fest. It looked as if ‘SunBurn’ was going on in the Fake IIT. I was very nervous and in that state, I was managing the fest with prof. gupta. Albeit, Chief Minister was about to come in our fake college and president sir had already taken all the preventive measures to hide the bitter reality of his deemed univ. In front of me, for the first time, every faculty was handling the student crowd gently.

Now coming back to our journey towards MBA block, prof. started discussing about how the President of this college turned the black money into the white.

“Hey lad do you know how many bucks are spent in decorating this fucking place?” prof. asked as if I was a participant of tech quiz.

“No idea sir” I said. My eyes were constantly on the paper.

“25 crores” prof told the inside story related to fest. “And maximum collection was taken from the students, 2000 rupees per head.”

My mouth remained ajar. I folded the paper and put it back into my suits’ pocket.

“Fuck!” I was in shock. “Someone refuses to give the money, then?”

“As if you don’t know, by hook or crook they will fetch their money from you.” Prof. said.

It was another shocker for me. In which direction we are going. In what way India is developing. Our politicians and businesspersons are developing their numerous bank accounts leaving India drowning in middle of the ocean. Again not boiling much blood, we go further.

“Sir we immediately need to do something for our students’ welfare.” I suggested.

“Yeah, we will figure out something, but for now we have to keep the patience up.”

“But they are in this univ for quality education; most of the students in our college are from outside the Dehradun. Their parents submit their fees on time so that their dear ones get good job and salary. We need a quick solution right now instead of patience.” I was in a hurry to do something for my naïve and innocent students.

“You are going way to fast, son. We will definitely do something but without any mistake. He is a powerful ‘BUSINESS’ personality in Dehradun.” Prof. tried to put me on right track, but I was planning something ridiculous.

After a long walk and discussion, we finally reached MBA block. As we went closer to PDP department, I smelled as someone smoking cigarette in the washroom. The washroom was next to the PDP department. I followed that smell and Prof. followed me. When we went inside the washroom, we both get shocked. The entire washroom filled with smoke, few boys and girls were lying on the floor, and we found some broken syringes next to them. Those students were the drug addicts. We were looking at each other’s face. Now a new turn we had seen in our univ campus. Prof. was also surprised after watching this new shit.

“What the hell is this?” I said.

“Don’t know may be it is a new innovation by our president.” Prof. was examining the broken stuff.

I started watching his face like dumb. I did not know what he was saying.

“Son, these students are used as slaves to sell the harmful drugs in the market.”

It was my third time when I was shocked. How a university can turn its students into drug mafia? They were young MBA students; my blood starts boiling after knowing the cruel reality of the univ. Why ‘people’ open such univs, why? Who gave them the right to demolish our youth’s valuable future?

Lot of engineering colleges are there in our country but still most of us are illiterates, why? Nobody knows the answer of this fucking ‘why’. Nevertheless, I was shattered after watching the pathetic condition of those ‘drugy…drugy’ students.

“What will we do now?” I asked in worried tone.

“Take all of them out, one by one. I will give them tough love.” Prof. had cleverly planned everything in such a short period.

“Tough…what?” I asked, as it was a new terminology for me.

“I mean I have to do their treatment, a tough one. So hurry up!”

I started pulling their fainted bodies out of that smoky washroom. It seemed as if I was playing roadies. I invested half of my energy in dragging their bodies. In that time, prof. brought a two-wheeler so that it took less time to reach to the teacher’s colony for quick treatment or say prof’s tough love.

After loading the students into the two-wheeler, prof said:

“Ratan, you go outside with these bookays maybe CM has arrived. I will take care of these scumbags and you are right, it’s the time for immediate action against that bastard, who is waiting outside for his expensive bookays.”

I nodded my head in excitement and ran outside to welcome our chief guest with lots of bookays. Seriously fellas, it was a horrible evening for Prof. Gupta and me.

Comments & reviews · 4
barefootrunner wrote a review Review · Aug 25, 2013

Hi there! Back for yet another review :)

I find this piece an improvement on the previous one. There is a lot more substance to it.

My first critique, and perhaps this should have come much sooner, is that your use of abbreviations is very distracting and confusing. I can't keep up! Write out every word, not CM and MBA.

Secondly, you have a good piece of political commentary again, with the use of drugs. It's good to see this sort of hands-on approach to moral problems, but I must warn you again. In fact, I think this chapter would have been a lot more striking if, instead of saying lots of things about drug abuse and giving the main character's emotions on the subject, you made a contrast and said nothing of the main character's thoughts. Just pulling body after body out of the washroom. Silence is also an answer! It tells us that the main character is dumbstruck, either by anger, or astonishment, or shock. Just an idea :D

Once more, be careful with your characters' responses to happenings. It is normal to feel nervous to be on stage, but it is unnecessary to go crazy with fear! Keep it anchored firmly in reality.

That's it, here :)
Keep writing!
barefootrunner

User avatar
manisha
Review
manisha wrote a review Review · Aug 25, 2013

Hi rishab!
manisha here to review!

I haven't read the previous chapters so if I say something silly or assume wrong please correct/ignore me.

I'll review as I read.

For them it is a way to forget the assignments, backs, break ups, etc.
What do you mean by backs?

We are making our country a worst place- full of smoke and syringes.
Nothing grammatically wrong but I think it sounds better when you replace worst with worse.

At the same time prof. gupta entered into my room.
Gupta should be capitalized as it is a proper noun.

Listen, first we fetch all bookays from MBA block then we have to go outside to give all this stuff to President Sir.” prof. explained his plan.
Bookays isn't a word. I think you are looking for bouquet.

high voltage fever.
Lol, what kinda fever is that?

most of the students in our college are from outside the Dehradun.
the 'the' before Dehradun in not needed.

“You are going way to fast, son.
to is too.

There are a few more typos, nothing that cannot be corrected after a read.

And most importantly, rate your works as above 18 if it has foul language. Please do keep that in mind next time.

If though I haven't read the previous chapters I get an idea as to what your trying to project. I see a lot of passion in your words. The passion can be made more better by refining the words. There are a few grammatical errors and oddly structured sentences. Make the dictionary your best buddy. Your story will do wonders.

You have a great plot going on here!

If you need any help or have any questions shoot me a PM, I'll be glad to help you out!

Keep writing!
-manisha

User avatar
ArcticMonkey
Review
ArcticMonkey wrote a review Review · Aug 25, 2013

Hi rishabh!

I'm here to review this chapter, sorry I haven't reviewed previous ones but I have actually kind of been reading them whenever I see them in the green room but I just never get the chance to review! Anyways, I'll start off with what I liked and I think this whole idea of the drug culture and how it's ruining people is really cool. Not that I think drugs are cool, but it's just speaking the truth really. So many people are addicted and it kind of just ruins their life, which is something worth talking about!

Something I thought which this piece was lacking in was descriptions. There wasn't really much descriptions of anything. I think something that really needed more descriptions was the festival. I mean it's something that happens every year, so maybe you could talk more about the vents that go on. You begin to talk about the decorations but go into even more detail! Basically, really try and put us as the readers in this place. What does it look like, smell like etc? Using the five senses to do this is really helpful.

The decoration was awesome

I don't like this description, because 'awesome' just seems an odd word to use here and more of an opinion than a description.

Another thing to mention here is that it's quite dialogue heavy at the moment. It's important to balance out dialogue with descriptions and interior monologue otherwise it just gets a bit boring. If you find that some things don't actually need to be put in dialogue, then just don't. I know dialogue sometimes seems the easy option, but too much of it can get a bit boring. So make sure you're varying it as you write!

We are making our country a worst worse place

Worse, not worst.

Overall, I think that this is a really cool story that's coming together here. I don't know why but I find drugs and stuff really fascinating. Sorry if I've made any mistakes in this review because I haven't reviewed the previous parts. To sum up my suggestions I say more description and less dialogue! I hope this review helped, feel free to PM me with any questions you have or if you'd like another review on anything.

Keep writing!
~ArcticMonkey x

User avatar
Deanie
Review
Deanie wrote a review Review · Aug 16, 2013

Hey Rishabh,

This chapter I liked a lot more than the previous one. You had that nice introductory paragraph where you stated his thoughts about drugs, and then you went on with the chapter based on the introduction. I liked it and when I reached the end I felt a little disappointed. I know that handling the drugged students was very important, but what about reciting lines with Myra? He probably missed it. Maybe towards the end you can mention how she feels, being stood up like that at such an important event. Maybe Ratan and her have an argument afterwards or maybe she is understand and sympathetic. I felt like you left the ending to that part wanting in some ways.

It seems like there are a lot of negative stuff going on in this univ. From raping to drugs to filthy living conditions. It can all get a bit depressing. But where is the good stuff, like that moment when Ratan captured Myra with that Dutch courage? I know things can't always be good but humans find uncanny ways to be happy in all situations! So maybe we need a chapter with some more hopeful and brightening stuff in it next.

For grammar and punctuation it's started getting a little worse from last time. You're missing out the little words again like "the" and "a". Don't forget to note when things are plural because then they need an 's' at the end of the word. The paragraphs look find, and the sentences are generally okay. One more thing to note is that you don't switch tenses. You were quite good at not doing it anymore but I've noticed it again here. Stick to past (it's in the majority of your story) and cut out any present tense bits!

Alright, that's it from me :) Let me know when Chapter 11 is up! Sorry for taking so long with this one as well ^^

Deanie x

take your own time in reviewing and thanks. And one thing i want to tell you that in this chapter i have written 'to-the-point' stuff. The stage performance of myra and ratan is self understood. i have left some points for readers to think and enjoy, it's my way to let my readers think and write the remaining story in their beautiful minds. thanks again for giving such valuable review.



We are all broken. That's how the light gets in.
— Ernest Hemingway