z

Young Writers Society


E - Everyone Language

operation imperial[ch-1]

by rishabh


1.
Starting Point
Before starting this book, first, I want to salute those eight bright engineers who had sacrificed their lives in myoperation and somewhere I am indirectly responsible in taking their lives from them. We may call it an indirect-homicide! Today I am writing not for only uprooting corruption from our education system but also for my promise that I had made with their stitched bodies. I do not want to blame god for this. Just what I want is to change my gormless decision. Let me tell you one thing that while reading do not confuse this IIT with ‘Indian Institute of Technology’ because the IIT which I joined was Imperial Institute of Technology (UNIVERSITY). This college was bullshit and comparing it with Indian institute of technology is a big shame, god knows when people will understand the real meaning of education.
However, one-day people will understand that where their nation is heading in this bloody rule of corruption.
Now time to begin our journey and it is better to start with the day when I finally joined fake IIT.
As I entered into the campus of Imperial Institute of technology, I broke off. I was glad that at last I had job in the best university of Dehradun as a young faculty in ECE department. Everything was new to me, the studious students, labs, faculty cabin, and teacher’s mess, the best thing about the college was that it had its own Teacher’s colony where I booked my room. For faculties, all the arrangements were good.
Next day, in my journey towards the staffroom, I noticed one odd thing. Students were coming in a proper dress and all faculty members were in a very funky manner. Quickly, I had flushed out this thought from my mind...Ahem, ahem. I followed the Indian tactics of ignoring absurd things. Nevertheless, the reason was very peculiar and above expectation. Right now, I do not want to go too deep into this stuff. In the staffroom, I left my bag on the desk next to my nameplate and I marched ahead with my chin up for my first lecture.
“Good morning, everyone I am Ratan Ahuja and I will teach you digital electronics.” I took a pause after giving a short intro. The whole class was staring at me as if I was doing some odd or jerk thing in front of them. I was nervous, I came out for a while, and then I again entered into the class with fresh mood. I call it ‘strategy’ but for others it’s a superstition.
In a class of seventy students, I was getting a bit uncomfortable. Because whatever I had taught was gone response less like instead of humans, seventy dummies were sitting in the lecture theatre. In whole period besides teaching, I had sensed as if some sort of protest was going on. Now that’s it I got miffed with this kind of behaviour of class. I had stopped my lecture in between and started little conversation with the students because I wanted to create a friendly atmosphere in the class. I had ignited the conversation by asking their names. One by one everyone was giving his or her intro. My fifteen minutes planning gave me rapid result. After the intro, I had thrown a terrific speech.
“My good students I don’t know the reason of your anger. However, I am here to teach you so that you all get a good placement; after all, you are in the best university of Dehradun. I had never heard some worthy points about my state, but I heard a lot of good stuff about this university, that’s why all of us are here.”
“Sir, you know why you are here?” a squeaky voice rose from the first row.
“Yeah I know very well why I am here. But may I know who is planting a debate over here?” I humbly replied.
“Imtiaz Ali, sir” a young lad stood up and gave an instant reply.
“Rock-star one?” I cracked a joke but no one had given even a single mirth. I hate this type of shit where every teacher looses his or her prime confidence. I stood static in the class for my poor joke. It was so embarrassing.
“OK. So give me your view point on this.”
“My view point....” he swallowed the whole line and rolled down his eyes as if he wanted to say something else but at the last moment, his tongue slipped. However, I had observed his latent feeling.
“Yeah carry on explain me why I am here.” I said gently.
“I don’t know sir, but my explanation is very odd. One day you will understand on your own that why you are here.” He replied in a very aggressive manner.
Imtiaz’s aggression was questionable but I was still solving the puzzle in my mind and each student was seems to be a new puzzle to me. I was standing in the class but in actuality, I was in a labyrinth. My mind became numb; only one question was back and forth coming in my mind that why everyone was behaving in this manner. I was expecting a good answer from the innocent looking mob but repeatedly I was getting the same. At the same time, I had decided that I would not teach these scumbags anymore. The first lecture of my career went so precipitate. I ran towards the HOD’s office after my class got over. As I reached there, I saw a babu type old moron in jeans and floral shirt sitting in his egg shaped cabin. I got a severe shock after watching his dress code it was so horrid from a university point of view. His cool uniform reminded me my last vacation in Goa. After giving me the gayish looks, that old fatso signalled me to come inside from his fatty fingers. I stepped inside the cabin and explained him the entire scene.
“Sir, I am Ratan Ahuja faculty of digital electronics. I want to tell you something.” I said in a very genteel manner.
“Speak fast…I don’t have time. I have more work to do,” he said, as if he was the busiest man in this world.
“Sir, the students of section k are real jerks. They are not responding well in my class. They tried to show me their hot blood attitude”
“Hmm….Mr. Ratan you are new here and the students of this college are little argumentative you have to make them realise their mistake.” Fatso replied with a fluctuating smile on his face.
“But sir how will I make them realise that they are doing a huge mistake? They are not studying in kindergarten so that via beatings or chidings they will understand. They are mature boys and girls.” I was confused and I wanted a quick solution for this problem.
“Yes buddy boy beat them make them cry they are not this much mature that they chid their faculty.” He said those words with such alacrity that in his life he had never missed such kind of insane opportunity.
I got Goosebumps after confabulating on this topic with that fatso HOD. His suggestion of beating students up to the optimum level was not right from all corners. Yeah I could chide them but beating them so that they would cry was a wrong thought. I came to my room and spent my whole evening thinking about those students. I had no other option besides beating them like a drunken gloomy professor. Nevertheless, what was the other option? Should I continue with the first one or I browse another good one? I was confused what to do or what not to do. I started making plans for my next interaction with the students. That night I had wasted lot of A4 size white thin pages. Anyhow, I had to impress them so that they would give a good response in my class. I strongly believe in the ideology of MR. Rajiv Gandhi and I am his true follower. MR. Gandhi’s ideology was very free style. He had his own vision of making India like western countries. In addition, he had done a lot of hard work to make this happen. However, with one blast during his campaign all his dreams became a bedtime story for the people of incredible India. That night with his vision, I closed my eyes so that next morning I would come forward to establish his beautiful dream via teaching some naïve students of my class.


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304 Reviews


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Sun Aug 25, 2013 5:26 am
barefootrunner wrote a review...



Hi there! Second review from me :)

Okay, so my first problem here is most certainly the grammar. In some cases, entire sentences don't make sense. You have a myriad of comma splices and similar punctuation mistakes. Your dialogue punctuation could also do with a little work. Check out correct tenses, too. I suggest you read some articles in the Knowledge Base to sharpen up that grammar :) It's really illuminating!

Secondly, you have very little paragraphing. Remember, when you skip time or move to a different scene, make a new paragraph.

Also, your word choice is slightly unbalanced. You use old words like "genteel" and "alacrity". In the same paragraph, you have colloquialisms such as "buddy" and "jerks". In the same breath, keep down the swearing and rude words! They don't give readers a good impression!

Beware of telling the readers a story. Show them the story instead. We want to see the state of the classroom itself. We want to see the boy's face when he argues with the teacher. We want to see what the weather is like outside. Are the flowers in bloom? Is it raining? Don't keep only to the characters—show everything.

Here is a quick tip for character development: Make a profile of your character. Give his name, age, gender, likes, dislikes, important relationships, his favorite food, some personality traits, his history, interests, appearance, incapabilities, everything! And when you can see him standing before you, smell his aftershave and sense his emotions, you know you're ready to write about him. Your character must be real, and grow as a person in the novel!

See you :)
barefoot




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Sat Jul 13, 2013 7:41 pm
Mardehoward wrote a review...



This story is amazingly interesting! I'm sorry for what you told the reader at the beguinning... Hope everything's better now.

The story takes a great turn in the right direction. Of Course I don't know what you are going for in the next chapter, but I can assume that it will intrigue me and the reader more! I think the problem of this chapter is very good, and of course it is connected to the end and beguinning of this and the next chapter, which gives the story a more dramatical touch.

I may tell you there are some grammatical errors in this piece. Those little mistakes makes it hard for the reader to understand what you're trying to say. If you review again your work I'm sure you could fix those in no time! ;)

Otherwise, this story is really entertaining and interesting. I would definitely keep reading more from it!

Keep up the good work! ;)

~Marde!




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Sat Jun 15, 2013 6:46 pm
SushiSashimi333 wrote a review...



Hallo! Sushi here.

Imperial Institute of technology
Not really sure how important this is to you, just thought you might like to know that you forgot to capitalize "technology".
I was nervous, I came out for a while, and then I again entered into the class with fresh mood. I call it ‘strategy’ but for others it’s a superstition.
This is more of a personal thing but when you say "I" this many times my mind is really taken off the flow of the story.
Because whatever I had taught was gone response less like instead of humans, seventy dummies were sitting in the lecture theatre.
I read this line over again trying to make sense of what you were trying to say here. What I got was all the kids weren't actually listening to the person teach and that they were more like dummies, the way this is worded just kind of twisted with my brain.
I had thrown a terrific speech.
How does one "throw" a speech?
“Sir, you know why you are here?” a squeaky voice rose from the first row.
The "a' after the quote should be capitalized.
Overall this seems farily interesting, I like that you made the prologue a glance into the future and the overall story a before and after type thing. Some sections of your writing seemed a little awkward at times, it was hard to read and confusing. I'm sure you'll be able to find and fix those if you read them over. The ending was good at making the reader wonder but not giving them anxiety waiting for the next part. Good job!
Sushi




rishabh says...


i will take care about the minor grammatical mistakes, tnx for ur valuable review.



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Sat Jun 08, 2013 3:16 am
hannahbear21 wrote a review...



I love this so much. Your vocabulary is superb and I adore the storyline. I do believe there is some room for improvement but not much, for it was so fantastic. I would recommend watching your grammatical errors. Just re-read and make sure, double check and all that jazz. It's very good but watch your sentence structure and form it all flow together. I want to read more! Also I would say adding even more description to the characters and how they act with each other and around each other! Thanks for the inspiring story! Much love!
-Hannah :)




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Fri Jun 07, 2013 10:49 pm
Andrea2676Marie wrote a review...



You've got interesting word choice in this piece. I assume you are continuing the story? I think it is pretty good! I encourage you to continue this. However, I suggest re-reading it to find some minor grammatical errors, and listen to your sentence flow. It's a good piece, and keep up the good work.
I look forward to reading more of your work.
As always, good luck to you and your writing!





Every really new idea looks crazy at first.
— Alfred North Whitehead