Operation Imperial ch-12

by rishabh

Published August 17, 2013

E - Everyone

In operation imperial

12.

Operation Imperial I

Day 1:

Prof. was good at filling motivation in young lads and lasses. In addition, he prepared a small motivational speech for the students because without being motivated, the task was impossible.

In the CS-IT LAB, prof. threw his motivational speech:

“My brave students,

I am prof. gupta, univs’ event management head. You will work under my supervision and Mr. Ratan will help you in high-risk zones. As we have already discussed the strategy, so now it’s time to implement it with positive outlook. This operation is ‘no fun’ game, those who want to quit, quit this operation right now. Otherwise, it will become mandatory for you to play this fixture, until your last breath. Be forewarned, I don’t want ‘courageous’ cowards in my team. I want serious and hardworking members. You all are the future of this univ and our country. First, by any means we have to make our remaining students free from this unwanted luxury. We want neither ‘high class’ business Engg colleges nor govt. ‘easy going’ colleges. Our objective is to reduce the no. of engg. colleges from India.

Thank you.”

Prof. ended his heart touching speech with genteel finishing. After the speech ceremony, everyone got ready for the roadies task.

“Separate in two groups.” I ordered.

Quickly a giant group separated into two parts. A sweet smile came on my face after watching the unity among the students. When grouping was over, prof. gupta appointed Imtiaz Ali as third in command. Until now, everything was going as per the strategy, but still the anonymous fear was in my heart as if something was going wrong. However, I bypassed my fear and marched outside with handful of students.

“Ratan, where are you going with these idiots?” prof. kalmadi interrogated.

I remained silent, as if rattlesnake smelled me.

“Why are you so silent? And how is bhabhiji doing?”

He again enquired.

“She is good. I have arranged a seminar for the students.” I said in an unconfident manner.

“okay, okay. Go now” He ignored my half-truth.

As we reached cafet, each student assigned some amount of work. Moreover, when the operation started, I noticed that Devika was not feeling comfortable.

“Hey pretty lady, why are you so upset?” I enquired.

She looked at me for a while and said:

“sorry sir...”

Her incomplete sentence amplified my fear. I asked in shaky voice:

“sorry for what?”

“sorry sir, I misjudged you.” She cried.

I hugged her tightly. Moreover, after wiping the drops of senti-water from her face, I took her along with me. Everyone was doing his or her task in a professional way. I felt good after watching their technocracy. My hardworking technocrats placed the latent cameras everywhere inside the univ. Now, it was my turn to show some ‘master-giri’. My job was quite hard; I placed the cameras inside the HODs office, dream house, and docs’ clinic.

When every task was successfully completed, I arranged a surprise party for my crew, because I wanted to revive their lost happiness. In addition, on that eve everyone enjoyed a lot.

DAY-2:

“Ratan, come fast. We have to start the recording process today.” Prof. chided me for my late appearance in the lab.

I bypassed his anger and at a sudden changed the topic.

“Good morning sir. What a pleasant morning…Huh”

As usual, after hearing my stupid answer he stared me for a very long time. My mind was not responding well, that was an “ass-biting” situation for me. Prof.’s chidings were really giving me a heart attack. I took my chair and turned on the console. I was shaking like an old branch of a tree. After sometime the computer in which the recording process was going on, signalled us. I called prof. and Imtiaz to see that crap.

“What happened? Why are you shouting?” prof. asked in a very aggressive manner.

“Sir, watch this bullcrap…..”

“Holy shit!” prof exclaimed.

We were not ready to accept the stuff that a bloody teacher was snatching mobile phones from the naïve and innocent students. That moment was very cruel; prof’s anger was also at highest altitude after watching that stuff.

“Why is he taking mobile phones from the students?” prof. asked.

“Don’t know.” Imtiaz said. “My phone is still with me, thank god ….I am here.”

I had not said anything. I was standing still.

“Maybe they know about our operation.” Imtiaz said.

“Nope…..say positive …believe in god.” I said few lines after gaining some courage. I was sounding like “BBD BABA.”

“Ratan is right imtiaz….be positive and work hard.” Prof. said.

“Bingo” I said as if I had bowled out ten outta ten batsmen from the ground. After hearing some good points from prof. gupta, I gained some more confidence.

“Now what’s next?” Imtiaz said.

“Whatever it is….mark it as ‘don’t care’. Keep working and record some more stuff like this, tomorrow.” Prof. motivated us.

“Yep… It’s on my console. Soon, it will be on the internet.” I threw some more encouraging stuff.

“So time for pack up, it is enough for today.” Prof. said after disconnecting his lappy from the plug in source.

After closing the recording process, we marched outside with confident smile on our faces.

Comments & reviews · 3
barefootrunner wrote a review Review · Aug 25, 2013

Hi there! Another review for you, before I retire for the night :)

In this chapter, I liked the way the relationship between prof Gupta and Ratan was shown in the way they worked together. I like the suspense you created by not showing the reader the footage they were watching. I also liked the whole sense of unity and working together among the students in Operation Imperial.

I found, once more, that your language was distracting. Watch those curse words! They aren't friendly! Also, beware of all those abbreviations and be aware of the fact that I, for one, don't have a clue what they all mean! Also, check out your colloquialisms mixed in with formal language. I find you have a few rare or advanced words in your vocabulary, but you overuse them and sometimes use them incorrectly, for example "chide", "genteel", "latent" and "revive". There are plenty of these, and you really need to check up on how you use them. Some of them are rarely used at all in writing and seem stilted or strange. Be careful how you use them!

On the flip side, I can't wait to see what happens next as Operation Imperial unfolds!

Keep writing, rishabh!

barefootrunner

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OliveDreams
Review
OliveDreams wrote a review Review · Aug 25, 2013

Hi there! Here to review your work for review day! I will review as I read so that it makes a little more sense to both me and you.

By the way – I loved the forum topic you made for Green Lanterns. Good job!

“In the CS-IT LAB, prof. threw his motivational speech:” - I'm not crazy about the word 'threw' here. It doesn't go with speaking. Maybe you could think about changing it to, 'presented' or 'bestowed'.

You're very talented with dialogue. Something that I find really difficult to keep interesting. The fact that your speech from this professor seems to be flowing nicely is a great thing! Sometimes writers can make speech sound too much like 'writing'. If that makes any sense at all. I think I need to take a few tips from you!

“This operation is ‘no fun’ game,” - It should be 'this operation is a 'no fun' game.'

The words such as, engg or univ are really quite distracting. Maybe this is because I haven't read the other chapters yet. Or maybe it's because they need to be capitalised. Such as E.N.GG or U.N.I.V. Once again, this may only be because I haven't looked at the other chapters yet.

“However, I bypassed my fear and marched outside with handful of students.” - It should be 'marched outside with a handful of students.'

Overall – I really like the relationships you've created between your characters. They're sweet and endearing and you clearly do this very well.
I also like your dialogue.

I think you could improve on your descriptions and just checking over your grammar a little more carefully before you post. To do this, I would read the piece outloud to yourself so you can hear the mistakes that you wouldn't initially see.

Good luck! I look forward to reading some more chapters soon

Olive <3

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Deanie
Review
Deanie wrote a review Review · Aug 18, 2013

Hey Rishabh,

These chapters just keep getting better and better :) Which is definitely something to be proud of. After all the sadness and unfortunate happenings at the univ all the students are finally forming together and getting something about it done. As we can see in this chapter, sometimes they do get disheartened, but they have each other to keep their confidence and spirits high. After all, what they are doing is the right thing, so what can stop them?

I liked how you added in the students phones getting taken. I wonder if some of the other teachers or profs are suspicious that something is happening? Maybe they are taking their own act as well? That would make an interesting twist to the story.

The beginning of this was written well, and it was nice to see prof. gupta's character shining through as well. I would like a bit more description in here. Run us through Ratan's feelings as he watched the video more. You've told us what he's seen and how he is feeling. But what is his body doing? Is his hands twitching or curling into a fist. Is his upper lip raising to snarl? Is his heart pounding? Instead of just telling us what he's feeling, show us in actions as well. All these actions are portraying his emotions to us, whether they are anger or sadness. When Ratan is feeling unconfident, don't just tell us. Write how he hangs his head slightly and his eyes are planted to the ground as he mumbles a half-truth. That's what readers really like to read. And it helps us emphasise with the characters more.

That's my advice for you in this review, show not tell. I think with English it was very well done in the beginning, but I found it a little wanting in the bottom half of the chapter. Maybe you should check over those sentences and read them aloud, and see where they sound a little rough. Or see if they're missing those all important little words I've already told you about :)

Keep letting me know ^^

Deanie x



I’ll paraphrase Thoreau here... Rather than love, than money, than faith, than fame, than fairness, give me truth.
— Christopher Johnson McCandless