9.
Welcome freshers!
When I was a student, my college days went so good. Nevertheless, first day of my college was so horrible. According to the Indian philosophy, first day decides your remaining days. I always thought that my first day went so bad, now what about my remaining days. My first semester disfigured because of this moronic psychology. However, from second sem onwards I had improved my further GPA’s. Being a faculty, on fresher’s day I sensed the same feeling inside the freshers. They were worried, tensed, and little excited. They were discussing about the univ campus, teachers, its reputation etc. They were not in first sem; actually, they were in their first hell. I was surprised after hearing from a sixth sem student that special building was given to the freshers (where they complete their both sems) just to minimise their interaction with the seniors. They interact with their seniors after second sem or alternatively after signing a ten-page affidavit. ‘What the hell this affidavit is?’ this question came in my mind at least hundred times. At the end of the second sem, imperial group gives you an affidavit in which first nine pages are related to ragging and cyber crime but the real matter is at 10th page where it is clearly stated that ‘If I leave the imperial institute of technology(in any sem), I will pay the penalty of 10 lac rupees. Also, I agree with all the remaining terms and conditions.’
What the fuck! these three words came out from my mouth after hearing all this shit. Is it possible? Have you heard any such thing in other deemed universities? Maybe or maybe not, you have heard about this stuff but if you are in some private university, which calls it as ‘deemed univ’ then be aware, always read these kinda stuffs carefully. I am not saying that every private univ is fake or corrupt but in India, it does not matter that whether your university is private or government. Both univs have the same ‘corruption’ problem. Private universities are making education a business, and government universities, I don’t know what they are doing.
India has less than zero% educated people, it means our education is at minus level. Only few people are literate and the remaining ones are eating mud in their houses. Our country is setting a big bad example for the future generations. In abroad, every comedian when comment on the topic ‘corruption’ they mark India on the top of their list. India is topping every negative chart, but when will we top the positive charts? In my opinion never, we are the bunch of idiots who vote blindly. I don’t wanna go too deep into the politics but for me politics is not that bad, the people who are in the politics (whether in univs, parliament, business corps etc.) are corrupt.
After hearing that ‘affidavit’ thing from a sixth sem student, I felt bad. I was suffocating. I was repeatedly thinking that ‘soon these smiles got fade.’ How many students spoil their career by choosing imperial like universities every year? In India, every year so many students ruin their career due to wrong college selection. Indian Youth is like petrol, non- renewable resource and corruption in our education system is exploiting our youth’s future. We have to conserve our youth power; otherwise, we lost the word ‘innovation’ from our country.
End of chapter
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139,496 Literary Works • 672,585 Reviews
Hi there! A short review for a short chapter
In this chapter, very little happens at all. In fact, there is no distinguishing action happening! A chapter should always have some form of action or a happening in it, but here there is none. In fact, it is almost entirely a political rant!
Be careful here, because you sometimes lose entirely the voice of your main character and give your own voice and opinions. This is dangerous to say the least! Make sure that you always stay narrating as your character, and not yourself.
In this chapter, I saw no plot development and very little furthering of character. We already know that Ratan thinks little of his university and thinks Indian politics are corrupt. Everything you are saying would be much better expressed infused within the story, using dialogue and description. So watch out for your opinions!
Again, check up on your grammar, plot and character development, and always keep writing!
barefootrunner
Hi Rishabh!
But I'm here now, and this is a relatively short chapter so it won't take long.
Sorry for taking so long to get around to doing this review. I have been busy lately
Unlike the other chapters, here we don't get much of the story. I liked how in the previous chapters there was always an introductory part where Ratan told us his thoughts on something, whether it was secrets or culture. Something that gave us a deeper understanding of his character before we continued with the story. What I didn't like about this chapter was that it seemed like you extended those thoughts. Instead it made this chapter seem like a small rant on his thoughts, because nothing much else happened except for his thinking. Which made this chapter not your best, because there wasn't much to enjoy.
Please forgive me if I am sounding to harsh. I mean my opinions in the best way possible to help you.
"When I was a student, my college days went so good. Nevertheless, first day of my college was so horrible" This opening sentence seemed a bit iffy. Not because of what it meant, but more so because you have two complete contradictions next to each other. Maybe this should be put like this: When I was a student, my college days were mostly good. Nevertheless, my first day of college was horrible. They are still two contradictions next to each other, but not complete ones.
I can't remember where it was but at one point you asked a question and it didn't have the appropriate question mark. Don't forget to add this all the time.
There isn't much more for me to comment on here, but I really would like to see more story line and less thought process. It needs to keep me hooked for me to want to read more.
Deanie x
Hi there Rishabh!
This may seem odd, but I'm going to take the slightly unorthodox route of reviewing this without reading the first 8 chapters!
First of all (and this may seem really stupid), but I noticed that on some of the titles of the other chapters you've put "operation imperial", "Operation imperial", and "Operational Imperial", this really annoyed me! Any chance you could change them all to "Operation Imperial"!
Haha, but this is just me being pedantic.
I have just a couple of points about grammar etc:
For the first two sentences:
"When I was a student, my college days went so good. Nevertheless, first day of my college was so horrible."
They should be:
"When I was a student, my college days went so well. Nevertheless, the first day of college was horrible."
And I think this should be in its own paragraph, to serve the function as both an introduction to the following paragraphs and an effective hook.
Remember to put a question mark on the end of a question, even if it's rhetorical: "now what about my remaining days?"
"My first semester disfigured because of this moronic psychology." - this doesn't make sense. It should be, "My first semester was disfigured because of this moronic psychology." Although this still sounds a bit odd. I would exchange the word "disfigured" with "seriously affected" or "ruined" or "messed up". Something like that
I would start a new paragraph at "Being a faculty..."
"...and little excited." - don't you mean "and a little excited"?
"...that special building" = "that a special building"
"...their both sems" = "both sems" (Should sems be capitalised?)
"‘What the hell this affidavit is?’" = "'What the hell is this affidavit?" (And this should be in a new paragraph)
I'm going to stop with the grammar changes here as their are quite a few. Just make sure you read through what you've written. Say it out loud and ask yourself if it makes sense, that usually helps
Anyway, I really enjoyed reading this, great job! And I really loved your comparison of Indian Youth to petrol. And the last line summed it up nicely (although this would work better in its own paragraph).
Keep writing!
Bethan