Young Writers Society

my shadow is ironed and in with the linens;
an old tattered grey blanky that i
have outgrown. and what is outgrowing
except ligaments slowly being stretched
in opposite directions: down by gravity
and forward by that inescapable fixation
with the horizon. it's funny to remember

there's a horizon in both directions -
and that maybe if i would pause to
rest my chin on my shoulder, consciously
stretching all the stiff tendons in my neck, i
would see the raggedy bits of dark linen clinging
to the skyline behind me; and i would smile
at the naive way they twirl as the air breathes
between the clouds. and i'd look forward at clouds
ahead that are no different - i'm just better acquainted
with them (and the shadow that still collects
like a bracelet at the base of my wrist) now.

Just wanted to pop in here to say that I adore the line "it's funny to remember/there's a horizon in both directions." So gorgeous and almost hopeful, but somehow foreboding at the same time, especially combined with the imagery later in the stanza. Great work!

Hey there Seirre!
Great going at NaPo!! I love your poem ‘the clouds and i both cast shadows’! It makes me think of looking back at the past, then the present, and a sort of monotony found there, along with swooping tiredness? I think your poems feel very light, as in I can read them and resonate deeply. I love the way your poetry travels deeper while also becoming something the reader can handle. It’s like the perfect balance! I struggle with creating that balance so often, but your poems have that natural feeling!
I can’t wait for your other poems! <333

@Plume thank you! That was also one of my favourite lines haha! I like that you got conflicting emotions of hopeful and foreboding, because I was going for a bit of an ambiguous mood.

Aw, thank you so much, @rida. I really try to make my poems both meaningful to me and still accessible to other people, so I really appreciate that compliment and I'm glad my poetry is able to resonate with you <3 And your interpretation of 'the clouds and i both cast shadows' is pretty accurate, to me it's definitely about remembering and appreciating that where you came from is how you got to where you are.

Hatch! <3 I don't know how I haven't commented on your lovely thread yet! D: I've really been enjoying reading along so far.

I like how those first two were really "on the nose" for theme - attached to laundry/folding motifs, and then how the others still touch on horizons and folding and weightiness too.

space moths is certainly one of my favorites, my all time favorite poem ever is "Lesson of the Moth" by Don Marquis and I always think bugs and especially moths are super poetic, and the way you finished the poem with that final image of piercing the moon with antennae AWE perfection. There's an intensity to that poem, that makes it really exciting to read on top of the imagery being really engaging.

the weight of loneliness poem inspired by Blue's prompt was really heart-striking and high-key relatable. And you were able to get some really striking intense body imagery in there without it seeming cliche or dramatic, but just oof; painful. And how the speaker connects loneliness to almost a death is really interesting too.

6,7, & 9 feel like these deep interesting introspective dives, and yet they're not too abstract and are rooted in imagery throughout. Poem 6 seems very "you" with the winding beautifully painful imagery lacing around every line of the prose-poem. And the opening and title of 9 is really bitter-sweet and had me hooked from the beginning.

Seriously, you've got so many excellent pieces here with some really striking images, and I think you're still on track for Poem a Day so kudos for you for that as well because I know how hard that is. Looking forward to reading along with you for the rest of the month. <3