every window in alcatraz has a view of san francisco

index :
a.
b.
c.
d.
e.

untitled

here i am incarnate &
here i am in carnations & here i am
walking my dog in the evening

we trudge to the field
near my house,
sit around in the flowers & grass &
pretend to be a piece of nature

theres a dead deer carcass
on side of the road,
lines of its back like a wishbone
under its skin splitting it in half

i need to learn to
exist outside of my own fear

i see deer at the field too,
so alive you can feel it radiating off of them
& glowing in halos

two sides, wishbone
i swallow awareness like arsenic
yet they are off somewhere in the flowers,
unseen & unbothered

i sleep in the field
dew on my neck, i forgot my pillow

queenofherownparade

there is a part of me that is still clean snow,
flushed face with cold hands

she lays on her stomach
& watches tv, scrapes dirt from
under her fingernails

with a thumb in her mouth,
she prays over the felt necklace
she beaded on a sunday morning
last spring

she is a girl with outstretched arms
& love like a fountain pouring over

whether i collect my wounds or heal them,
there will always be space for
one of us to forgive

itwascoldwegotcold

i am saying 'she' sweeter because 'you'
is out of my vocabulary now

she, she, she

the way she leans against me
at the park
the way her tongue searches for mine
like my mouth is the only thing left
in this dimension

a rose quartz heart in between
our two hands &
her perfume on my neck

i utter three word mantras under my breath
& she grips my hand tighter

untitled

my sweet archive requires
death, wilted beauty

a home adorned with the weight
of dozens of corpses
& perfume on the tip of my tongue,
sticky mouthfuls of pollen

i am not afraid to die,
but i am afraid to leave

octoberallover

she touches my arm
& i feel like i can carry more than
i would ever allow myself

i am used shoes &
she is beautiful
divine like the nape of her neck,
the bend of her ankle or
the curl of her hair

i am two steps too broken up
about a life i have never broken into

there is something
cowardly about becoming
brand new