roxyask

Hello Roxy here! Ok first off I think it would be great if there were more punctuation for example, you could seperate "Making it impossible to breathe, They are always ...

Hello,Roxy here! Haha this is brilliant!! :D You shouldtry seperarte the actual start of it from the explanation of the I-pad though! ^^ I love your description of the "blue ...

Hello! Roxy here! A very interesting piece indeed! "It controls me, it consumes me Leaves me only wanting more" i love the lines, but for a bigger punch I would ...

Hello! Roxy here! This could be a personal thing, but I think it would be better if you changed "we're"" into "we are" it just drags me into the poem ...

Hello Roxy here! Some puntuation might help! A few commas here and there wouldnt do any harm! I think you meant "write" instead of "right" "sorry" should start with a ...

Hello! Roxy here :) first off, you needn't retype the title,its already above! :) I wont say any thing about spelling because mithrim already covered that! :) But there is ...

Hello! Roxy here :) A really nice piece, Id love if there was more though because I want to know more!! Saying that, theres one or two small things that ...

A beautiful piece! Are you missing a line in the second last paragraph though? Just a personal thing, you could change "dependable" to "reliable", it just sits better with me ...

Hello! First off, this shouldnt be in the poetry section, try the article section maybe? Second of all-Punctuation! Its very distracting when you're missing commas and fulll stops. You also ...

I really liked the piece,but I want more! Give more descriptions! Your at a carnival! millions of descriptions there! How she reacted on a scary rollarcoaster, what she wore, did ...

hello! :) Ok one or two small things :) First off Im sure you can think of a better way to say "I close my eyes" I realise that you ...

Hello Roxy here :) I wouldnt use the words "hot guy" Im not doubting that he is but thsts more something you would say in conversation rather than a poem ...

Hello! :) Roxy here with a few suggestions! :) If you are talking about a specific girl, then i would start off with "there is this girl" as "a" makes ...

An interesting piece-I like it! :) One or two suggestions though :) First off I wouldnt rewite the title, its already above :) I would change the "then" to "I ...

heya, so Im gonna try blend an answer and a review in here! :) Review; I wouldnt put all the ?! in, only put them on the bigger more exasperating ...