Young Writers Society

Home » Literary works » Other » Realistic

You-(this is NOT a poem)

by luckystar3000

I know you can't really see me but I'm still there

I've got an eye on you

don't know if you ever even set an eye on me once

you've been there for forever

but I only just realized it I must admit

now when will you notice me?

sorry, I am too embarrassed to talk to you

too embarrased towrite this

I'll cross this out now...

Note: You are not logged in, but you can still leave a comment or review. Before it shows up, a moderator will need to approve your comment (this is only a safeguard against spambots). Leave your email if you would like to be notified when your message is approved.

Is this a review?



User avatar
78 Reviews

Points: 2659
Reviews: 78

Wed May 30, 2012 8:13 pm
roxyask wrote a review...

Hello Roxy here!
Some puntuation might help! A few commas here and there wouldnt do any harm!
I think you meant "write" instead of "right"
"sorry" should start with a capital letter
and one last thing- I think it would make more sense if you started the 3rd sentence with an "I"
Let me know if you've any Q's

User avatar
20 Reviews

Points: 1180
Reviews: 20

Tue May 22, 2012 10:05 pm
monsterwriter wrote a review...

Loved it! You score an A+ :D

Thankeee! :)

Actually hi

In short, Mrs. Pontellier was beginning to realize her position in the universe as a human being, and to recognize her relations as an individual to the world within and about her.
— Kate Chopin, The Awakening