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You-(this is NOT a poem)

by luckystar3000


I know you can't really see me but I'm still there

I've got an eye on you

don't know if you ever even set an eye on me once

you've been there for forever

but I only just realized it I must admit

now when will you notice me?

sorry, I am too embarrassed to talk to you

too embarrased towrite this

I'll cross this out now...


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78 Reviews


Points: 2659
Reviews: 78

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Wed May 30, 2012 8:13 pm
roxyask wrote a review...



Hello Roxy here!
Some puntuation might help! A few commas here and there wouldnt do any harm!
I think you meant "write" instead of "right"
"sorry" should start with a capital letter
and one last thing- I think it would make more sense if you started the 3rd sentence with an "I"
Let me know if you've any Q's
--Roxy




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20 Reviews


Points: 1180
Reviews: 20

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Tue May 22, 2012 10:05 pm
monsterwriter wrote a review...



Loved it! You score an A+ :D






Thankeee! :)





Actually hi




In short, Mrs. Pontellier was beginning to realize her position in the universe as a human being, and to recognize her relations as an individual to the world within and about her.
— Kate Chopin, The Awakening