inkwell

Poem improves with multiple readings, sophisticated structure. Opening two lines are magnificent. Like the initial sips of a good wine, anticipation delighted by images complex and suggestive, whereve

'thorny' and 'barbed' back to back? I think we get the description ;] I liked the way this evoked the mood of a tree. It's leaning for rest on this ...

Summer, 'A time where light was wanted.' Using the word 'where' rather than 'when' is a curious choice. Taken as a deliberate one, it conflates space and temporality, much like ...

Dictators are never kind are they? Neither are cops for that matter. Did she really think that he was white? Is the supposed blond hair a product of her delusional ...

Funny, creative, unapologetic. You're like 16? Respect. Last stanza my favorite. Not sure what it had to do with water. 'I lack balance, yet I maintain a high self esteem.' ...

Judging by your poem, I'd say not much more can be said. Was that the point? ABABABABABAB rhyme scheme is like when you are riding a bike on a really ...

Provocative I guess. Meta, even? I've always felt it easier to run away on the internet. I'd try more effective conversation techniques. They often involve risk and the internet often ...

Is snow a metaphor... - more, more. Too much repetition, to what end? A cold one, a man in this freezing terror, indifference + futility. Cool. Some overstatement perhaps, 'shameless' ...

Try minimizing, let it breath. "The fire burns bright on the horizon The crimson moon dark against the sky The ruins everywhere remind me Of what I did." Let the ...

First off, feminist poetry rocks. Keep it up and ignore the fascists who need to check their privilege. ~ There's an uncomfortable tendency in our generation, perpetuated by pop culture, ...

I liked the refrains here, it really evoked the heaviness of the feeling. First stanza is great, locating this feeling in anatomy and staging the poem's core. The overall receptiveness ...

Interestingly your second stanza seems more like a critique of the shallowness/emptiness of others, before you describe the self-loathing emptiness of your self. This lends an interesting contradictio

Quietly and insensibly, I'd like to go that way as well. I'd like to see you probe yourself further. Things get more interesting the more honest you are. Ask more ...

Such a simple, honest, and upfront first sentence! I'd like to see more of that around here. No straining for profundity, just "I don't feel well." And with that I'm ...

Repeating "my wine" three or four times at the start of your poem is a bad way to start your poem. Adding an emphatic "yes" or "no" to the beginning ...