Young Writers Society

This is so heartbreaking.

It starts off okay enough when they're eating ice cream and her friend mentions he's gay, but he doesn't love boys the way the narrator loves Sophie. There's an underlying sadness in the first stanza.

It gets darker as the poem progresses. Her friend is shunned from the guidance counselor who is supposed to help him. That makes me so mad. Him being gay is becoming more serious as society views him as something dirty until someone finally kills him.

Throughout the poem, the narrator mentions "My best friend is gay" at the beginning of every stanza. The last line is "My best friend is dead." That's a punch in the gut.

This is a beautiful poem.

This.

This is what is wrong with our world today

This is something that has always been wrong with our world.

There is nothing wrong with being gay. Not one thing. As a heteorflexible that has crushes on a couple of guys and a couple of girls, I took the ending of this poem in a harsh, cruel way. It is no wonder that this is the most-liked, most-viewed, most-reviewed poem on this site.

In an era in which people are persecuted for things that should not matter in the way that they do-- religion, gender roles, sexuality-- you have evoked emotions inside of me that I have not felt in months, emotions that a part of me wanted to forget about, a part of me that I wanted to pretend did not exist. But, by waking that part of me up, and thus opening my eyes and my heart, you have moved me in a way that I did not expect. Most works do not push me to tears. I think that had I not cried tears f joy earlier today, I would have cried tears of beauty in these moments.

For some, maybe "gay" isn't the word they need to focus on here. It can be replaced with many words-- Muslim, rich, poor, sick, trans, black, white, brown, yellow, etc. In this world of intolerance, we need to find tolerance within ourselves and share it with the world.

Thank you so very much for writing this beautiful poem. You have had a profoud effect on me.

-Vilnius

This is heartbreakingly beautiful. I like how, as the poem progresses, the problems the friend faces grow more serious. In the first section, it is casual, brought up while eating ice cream. Then Kate realises that society views being gay as wrong, then it's like a "crime", and then he's dead. It really shows what it's like growing up gay and how, even if it seems perfectly innocent to you, you gradually realise that not all people have this same view.

The repetition of "My best friend is gay", and then this being subverted with "My best friend is dead." is really hard-hitting.
Thank you for writing this

Wow, it's beautiful!

I want to cry now… (╥﹏╥)

How have I never liked this before in all my time on YWS wow. Have finally rectified

It's in the spotlight again!!! I love this poem so much. Def tells us how society is nowadays.

This piece was wonderful! It had such a deep meaning to it, and it really showed that a life is a life, no matter what you think, feel, or believe. You say this is not based on actual events, but this story is like the one of Matthew Shepherd, who was beaten to death and died on 10/6/98. Your grammar, spelling, and punctuation was all wonderful too. I have nothing else to say, it was just so great. Keep on writing and Merry (early) Christmas! Have a Happy New Year!

Absolutely beautiful. Keep it up!

This poem as beautiful.
It's thought-provoking and the replacement of "my best friend is gay" with "my best friend is dead" is heartbreaking - it shows how the "wrong" sort of love is too often treated with hatred and results in something awful, like death.
The repetition of "when a boy loves a boy and a girl loves a girl" really shows how simple it really. It's not wrong, or perverted. It's simply love.
The change in the friends emotions/experiences is also heart-wrenching to read. How they start off with a "chuckle", then we see his tears.
It's a sad truth about many communities (thankfully not all, and thankfully they're improving) and how they demonise and abuse people just because they're gay.
Regardless of their opinion on homosexuality, the fact that they take their disagreement to the level of violence is sick.

This was a very emotional and relevant poem, thanks for writing it.

The poem gives us a true realization that there are faults in our society. The victim has been killed for loving a person. It tells us ow the society tried to suppress his love. At the end unable to do so, the society got rid of him. It shows us that we have restrictions set in our life. These restrictions were set by us. This should not only be seen by us, kids but also be seen by everyone in the world. Even though it has not taken place in real life it feels so real and so sad. We require more authors like you in the world who question the restriction and promote liberty.

This poem is amazing! It's so heartbreaking yet really speaks the truth about our society's around the world and how gay people are still hated on. I really like the message about this poem and I think it should be submitted to some LGBT magazines or books in the making maybe? I feel like more people should see this!!

I just want to say that I cried when reading this because it is so true in our society. more people need to know that it is okay to be gay or lesbian or trans or anything! you are who you are and this poem is so amazing that it deserves to be read by more people. im still crying now because your power with words is so beautiful and I know you'll go very far with it. good job and write on.

Thank-you for all the wonderful comments and reviews! I’m floored by how much this poem has touched people and how many people have commented on it/read it.

Hey, I'm reviewing this even thought it's a little late.

This poem made me cry and I'm not even ashamed of it. Having a gay brother I have thought of these types of things before. The world is so scary out there. No one can be who they want to be, unless society tells them yes. Reading this gave me hope that I'm not the only one out there who thinks this is wrong. I just wanted to thank you for this beautifully written poem. You will go places, I just know it.

Hello, I'm reviewing your amazing inspirational poem.

I really like this. This really shows what your best friend went through, and how you helped him when society was ready to put him down.

Your poem goes through the life stages starting from when he finally comes out, all the way to when society does actually get to him. This actually speaks to me in a way because I have a best friend that is gay, and society(people in his school) were ready to put him down, but now he isn't afraid to let anyone know that he is gay.

Your poem also has a repetitive flow. By repeating the best friend, it's like you were trying to say "Even through all of this is happening, this is still my best friend." Like you were owning that you were always there for him through the hard times during his life.

Also, by stating "It's when a boy loves a boy and a girl loves a girl." you would put your opinion after you would put this. that shows that you don't care about who a person is in love with. It also shows that you agree with lgbt community, and that you don't see anything wrong with dating someone that you truly love.

What I think(just my opinion) the message you were trying to send out was that society judge people enough to where they end up dying, or society is showing to much hate to the gay community, and they need to calm down with all that.

Anyway, this was a very inspiring/inspirational poem about society judging the gay community, I really enjoyed readying it. Keep up the good work!

~Namjoon~

Beautiful! I am kinda the best friend, but I am not dead.

WHYHYYYYYY is he dead????!!

I love hoe this is put is sections.
Organized. Same though my best friend is gay, too.

"My best friend is gay.

He tells me this as we’re walking

down the street eating ice cream.

I’m 10, he’s 12.

I don’t really know what ‘gay’ means,

so I ask him.

“It’s when a boy loves a boy

or a girl loves a girl,” he tells me.

“Well, I love, Sophie,” I respond.

He chuckles. “Not in that way, Kate.”

His laugh is bitter and I think

he’s mad at me for being stupid.

Then I see tears, coming from his

brown eyes that are always happy.My best friend is gay.

He cries about this as we sit on my bed,

I’m holding an icepack to his bruised lip.

I’m 13, he’s 15.

I know what gay means now,

it’s when a boy loves a boy

and a girl loves a girl.

It is not a bad thing,

but everyone seems to think it is.

Society thinks it is.

“It is not okay to love the same sex,”

our “guidance counselor” tells him.

This person who was supposed to help him,

this “adult” who has made him cry."

That is my favorite part.


Good job!!! You are great at this.

Oh my goodness! This is beautiful, I was on the verge of tears while I read this. And I was literally frozen with shock when I read the disclaimer because I honestly believed this. It felt so real to read. One of my friends is lesbian and people are always picking on her for who she is. She's been so strong so far and I hope for a long happy life so far. I mean even her parents literally tell her "We're going to treat you like a slave." And took everything away from her because they think it's convinced her about "false theories." A while ago, she gave me a scare because her brother came running to our house asking, "Is my sister here?" and I flipped out. But don't worry they found her. Thank you for writing this I'm totally showing her!!! I don't even know how this isn't a true story because it's written so amazingly!

An absolutely gorgeous, devastating work of art. No criticism here. Only the highest praise. It's a poem but works also as a short story. I loved it. Please continue to write. I'll be reading this poem again.

I just ran over to my best friend's house and screamed into her ear "YOU NEED TO READ THIS POEM!!!!!!!"
This is amaaaaazing. It is a shame you don't look at this anymore but oh well. I'll send you a message through out writer's brains. YAYYYY

THIS IS SO GOOOD

I have gone back to this piece several times, because it's a beautiful work of art. Congratulations on the reception, because it was definitely earned. It's a shame you don't still come back to check on this, or you would see how many more people's hearts you've touched with a single poem. Poetry is designed to bring about emotion or stir up feelings. If this isn't a prime example of poetry, I'm not sure what is. Thank you for making my day so many times by having written such a powerful piece.

Heyo! Space here for a review!

I clicked on this, not quiet knowing what to expect, but what I got was wonderful! The stanzas, the theme, everything was so heart-felt and touching. The lesson it teaches is great, and it leaves the reader so emotionally moved.
You truly achieved writing an amazing poem.

I don't have much complaints or suggestions, really. It doesn't rhyme, but some poems don't and it really fits this one. Some lines are longer then others or uneven, but that is also fine because of the fact that you're telling a straightforward story in poem form.

I love this! Great job!

-Space

This is amazing....just...amazing

Oh... Oh, my... this is, sincerely speaking, the BEST poem I have EVER read.

This is in the spotlight again! Love this poem <3

I almost cried reading this.

This is just too beautiful. I can't even...

Bought to you by YWS spaghetti code

oMG THIS IS IN THE LIT SPOTLIGHT AGAIN

its a blaaaast from the paaaaast

I love what you have here. I want to make that clear before I continue, this is a strong piece on its own, I'm just throwing out my ideas if you were ever curious about playing around with this poem for future drafts.

You have a strong story here, I know who the characters are, I have a strong idea of the scenes painted in each stanza and it's done in a creative way, for example, I absolutely love the I'm this age, he's this age thing you did throughout the piece, it really brings a strong punch for that final stanza. One thing that I'd recommend playing around with is instead of having "I'm 22, he was 24." make it two separate lines like "I'm 22, he/ Would be 24." You really built that up through the whole piece, I'd say you've earned a line that really savors that earth-shattering line.

I'd also recommend maybe instead of him being beaten to death that he commits suicide because his parents found out about his secret lover, something that ties the whole piece together. Right now this whole poem flows really well together, even though there's a separation of time between each stanza, what was mentioned in the previous one usually ties in with something that was said beforehand. That doesn't really carry over with that last stanza. I'm not saying that it's not a powerful scene already, however it is a bit anticlimactic to end where this character is just beat to death by some person we never meet or know about. Maybe that's how you want it to go, but I'd suggest playing around with something along those lines, might lead to something interesting.

Thanks for sharing,
Static Scum

S*** my name is Mason! That really hit home for me, not just bc my name is Mason :3

Wow. I have no words.

This was riveting. It was tragic, moving, and absolutely perfect. There was nothing I could find wrong and I swear to god you need to get this published somewhere. Well done, my friend.

This poem is so, so, so true and relevant and well written. Made my eyes moist. I support your views. Keep writing!

This is so good!
I think you really got the point across.
And you're right! There's nothing wrong with it!
Keep writing!

Hello lakegirls,
It's a very touching poem and it literally made me cry.
I have seen my friend struggle for a year trying to hide what he truly was and following what society preached as LOVE.
I don't know if things are going to change but I hope to god that people won't be afraid to fall in love with whom they want and not be dictated by society 'S definition of love.

Hey, lakegirls! It's ScytheMeister here for a quick review (a bit late, however).

This was beautiful! I loved it, it was so heartfelt and moving. There was nothing at all negative about this, you wrote and structured it perfectly.

I do, however, have one slight nitpicky issue.

My best friend is gay.
He tells me this as we’re walking
down the street eating ice cream.

My best friend is gay.
The news came to me as we were walking,
He told me over the chill of our Ice cream.

Hi @lakegirls , Kara Stevens here for a (hopefully) quick review!

So I don't have any criticism for you. That's how perfect this poem is. This is a very moving poem that deserves to be in the spotlight.

This is actually very personal because my uncle is gay and he's actually engaged but he's not marrying because Donald Trump, Chick-Fil-A, and the people in his town don't support gay marriage. It hasn't gotten to the point where this happened, but... this really touched me.

Keep up the good work!

--Kara Stevens

This just killed me inside

Remington38 here,

Wow I don't know if I can tell you anything you haven't already heard, but this is so wonderful it needs to be said again. This was poetic and beautiful and elegant despite how dark the ending was. I honestly was watering up a bit, it was sooo good. The repetition was a perfect decision. It was simple, but I feel like that was the reason it was most effective. This packed a hard emotional punch towards the reader. I really don't k ow what else to say. It was beautiful and you are a very talented writer.

Hi there lakegirls, its Gymnast2801 here with a review for The Black Cat Squad!

Wow. Just wow. This is truly powerful. I have the same views of this main character. This shouldn't be a crime. I don't know excatly where my feelings stand on this. I know it isn't right in the Catholi-Church-type-way (which is what I am) but heck, I don't care. I'm not going to judge someone by their choices like this or by their likes and dislikes. I'm just going to treat them with the same kindness that I would treat any other person because it would make me wrong to treat these people differently. After all, they're still people. They still deserve to be treated kindly and not be judged every moment of their lives. I know someone who is gay and he is one of my closest friends, and I wouldn't change a thing about him!

Anyway, that's my view on this and a really love your poem!
Please keep writing things like this!
-Gymnast2801 for The Black Cat Squad!
https://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/im ... 60k129.jpg

This is so powerful, and considering that my best friend is actually gay I can totally empathise with it, as I've seen how some people treat her differently due to it. But yeah, this is so creative and I really enjoyed reading it... the use of repetition is just so effective in letting the reader know how the story gradually develops. Well done! I really enjoyed reading this

I only just started here, and I came across this poem. I really like how you've repeated the lines "My best friend is gay" and repeated the ages of the characters. I love how you've written about your friend in this poem, because when people are different, they sometimes aren't seen as equal humans. Everyone should read this poem, because it proves that everyone, whatever they think, is equal, and that whoever you feel any kind of love for, is the right person. Well done!

Well, I really don't see how my opinion could help here, but I'll try. You've written a fantastic piece that everyone loves! I'm not sure I can help, but I am not throwing away my shot! So, let's get down to it.

I love the rhythm your poem has, and the mirrored style. You start off every stanza with "My best friend is gay" which makes it far more impactful when you say WAS instead of IS, but it also keeps a steady beat throughout the poem. Not only that, but the ages are keeping that beat going along as well, and it (again) makes it even more impactful because he died young. Not only that, but your last stanza-less line packs a killer blow. I really wouldn't change much.

The one thing I would change was the "Mason" line. It may be important to name the character that loves the best friend, but it also is introducing a character without continuing that role. We understand that there's a boyfriend, but he doesn't necessarily need to be named. In fact, I think that it would pack more of a punch if Mason wasn't named. One of the great things about your poem is that it is fluid; it can pass through characters and time (well not much for time anymore, thank God) very fluidly because it is so anonymous. By naming a character, you're taking away part of what make this such a workable poem. In my opinion, the more anonymous this remains, the better.

Great job! I hope this helped!

My opinion appears somewhat irrelevant, given that this #1 on the literary spotlight of all time. Of course, this is a matter of opinion, even if the majority appraise it. However, I am glad that a work with this subject matter is #1 because it expresses a modern message, even if a few of the comments below me echo archaic opinions, or "hate the sin but love the sinner" sentiments.

Your title is incredibly declarative, which I would have a problem with normally, but these declarations make sense to show change in time- sort of like a story within a poem. The actual story itself is very emotional and plucks at heart strings. Then again, this was of course intentional to outline certain societal attitudes towards homosexuality, which you perceive as being backwards, full of contempt and hatred.

I am not sure if the same can be said for America, given how this work was written before the legislation of gay marriage this year, but over here in England- more to the point, where I live in England- homophobia is not a matter of government and state, i.e. there are no laws which discriminate against homosexuals. Homophobia is taken seriously. Obviously, in the poem, the best friend was beaten to death, so there is a world of difference.

My nitpicks with this poem do not stem from the themes and execution of themes- you have done a really good job at conveying the sadness- but it is with the length. I felt that by the middle point, the idea became a bit stagnant and a bit preachy, even though I agree with what you are preaching- it is, nonetheless, advocating your view point. I also found the ending to be sudden and rather ironic, without intention.

My best friend was gay.

I cry about this while I sit in

the hard church pew.

I’m 22, he was 24.

Hello lakegirls!!

This is Eros here to review your artistic and BEAUTIFUL piece of poem!

Firstly, Congratulations for 134 likes!! I want you to cross 200. Well... You deserve these likes. You have written great! I liked our presentation. The poem flows well... very well! The main part that I loved is, the theme of the poem. You wasnt to change the perception of people around the world--- The perception that being a gay is not a crime. The perception of seeing gays as bad people. The perception that gays are people to be shunned by the society. I know this perception is wrong. I think that this perception will change, though it will take some time. Anyways, you have done really great! I like your way of expressing facts. This poem is basically, based on facts of worl'd treatment towards gays. But you have expressed them in a very beautiful and poetic manner. I like this unique piece of poetry. Keep writing... For we love to read them!!

hey there lakegirls...

first things first..I would really simply like to thank you for raising this topic out loud in the public through your awesome poetry. I really loved the way you presented the current scenario of the society in such a simple yet touching manner.

I like the way how you narrated the passing away of ages; from being a child who's 10, innocent and unaware of the world's ideologies about being gay to a mature 22 year old who actually thinks that love is for everyone and that everyone has the right to love and very much the right to decide whom to love.

And finally the narration of his the incidents leading to the person's death is truly successful in bringing out the cruelty that is bestowed on them by the society for simply being gay even without presenting a valid reason.

truly a great piece of literature and really appreciate it.

All the best! and looking forward to your upcoming posts.

Wow. Thank you for that. I am relieved that it's not based a real events, but it happens all the time, so I can't be too happy. From the beginning, I loved it, and wanted to know more and hear the whole story. I was struck with sadness when I saw the word was, knowing what was coming and what that meant. And though, we can't change society's mind about this topic, we can change some people's perspective and understanding. I love this being out there for people who don't know or for kids and teens to read this. I am not an expert on poetry, but everything flowed beautifully, and had an affect which I think is the biggest goal for a poem. I cannot find anything wrong with this. I am going to share this, so at least a few more people will see it. Thank you again. Keep up the amazing work!

Hello lakegirls,

This is a beautiful poem. It is very powerful and I'm glad this isn't based off real events but there are real events all to similar to this poem which is sad. I really like how you reflected the first few lines in each stanza it gave a connection throughout the poem that just tied the whole thing together.

I think the formatting of this poem is appropriate as well. The centered text just flows better for this style of poem. You also chose the perfect amount of examples in this boy's life to share. You could have added more or less examples but I feel you added just the right amount for this poem to be powerful. Overall this is an amazing poem. As always, keep writing

-Incohesive Scribbles

I do not think that this is the best written poem, but you know you've got something special when the poem gathered over 100 likes and presented a controversial topic with a neat delivery, emotion, and punctuation that closes it all. That right there is something few poems have, and dismissing a few technical errors, this is special.

This is a wonderfully executed piece about something, although beautiful, is deemed socially ugly. I love how it opens with such innocence and progresses with age accompanied by learning the often unfairness of life, and then ends with something as tragic and final as death. Unfortunately, this is something [the ending scene] that happens too much in reality.

Pieces, be it poetry are prose, that have an age progression are some of my favourites (and least, in some cases) depending on how they are written. The repetition and close-ups in particular focal points, accompanied by the narrator's naivete slowly turning bitter, is what really makes the concept work so well.

That was reading it with my literary mind, now here's my personal fondness of it. I vividly remember being in the narrator's shoes and having a friend come out to me, and later as well as being in "Mason"'s. Although, fortunately neither of us have reached our demises in such a way. You have successfully created a setting where a majority of people can relate to, being to either or both characters, and that's a really cool thing to accomplish.

Well done.

-Sav

So many reviews, that I would want to say one other thing.

I want this piece to stay on the front page as long as possible.
Marvelous work, and truly... absolutely beautiful.

This is some incredible work. It really did hit home for me because I too have best friends struggling with sexuality and its consequences. I am so so so glad that you wrote this and that its getting all this attention. You really deserve it! Your work is amazing. I love that you wrote their ages, its such a nice touch. I love the character development. You had me on the edge the whole time. This is really good. I don't know what to say, honestly. Great job! Congratulations on your achievement. I am real excited to see some more from you

PenLorde

It's amazing how many likes this poem has gotten on this tiny website. 109...It's crazy! Congratulations for that.

Since a lot of people have voiced their opinions on this poem and its message, I figured that I might as well do the same. I myself am a Christian, and I don't believe in gay rights. Yet, the Bible also says, "That for God so loved the WHOLE world," and that doesn't exclude a single soul. My philosophy is hate the sin, not the sinner. Hate thievery, not the thief. Hate adultery, not the adulterer. Hate the idea of being gay, not the person that is.

Bullying or killing somebody for any reason, yes, that includes their sexual orientation, is wrong. Period. I agree with that aspect of your poem, but I politely disagree with the part that says that it's not wrong to be part of the LGBT community. It's wrong, just like any other sin is wrong. Sorry if I ruffled anybody's feathers there, but I will always hold strong to this belief because that's what God's Word says. I'm not being offensive, God's word is. It's always offensive, even to the most religious of people, because it confronts the flesh. And that's not a bad thing.

People must remember that the Bible also says to love your neighbor like yourself.

What I liked about this poem: I thought how you stated the character's ages at various parts throughout the poem. It was a nice touch. And your whole poem flowed very nicely. Congratulations on getting so many likes and responses to this work. It was very controversial.

Wow! Congrats on having the most liked work in YWS history! The closest second is If Random Were a Language, I Would Eat Chocolate by VeerenVKS, and it's a distant second at that (73 versus yours 109 at the moment). On a small site like YWS, accumulating even 20 likes is something to be really proud of. Accumulating over a 100 is astonishing. Good job

I am absolutely in love with this. It is beautiful and true in many ways. It is just so overpowering. What is the deal with society? It is your own life and homosexuality. It's sad to see people ostracized just for them being themselves. Everyone is beautiful because they know their imperfections.

I've been reading the comments and I am just going to say...
Yes, I love this poem very much because you are expressing your beliefs on the subject.
I am Christian, and you know how in the Christian beliefs, Gay rights is a no no.
But I BELIEVE that anyone can be with anyone, no matter what gender they are. It's their feelings and wants, not the world's.
That's all I can say to that... so... yes, great job on this. It's worth to speak about.

This is a strong piece of work and I really appreciate someone who gets this. You wrote about something so controversial and put it so simply I'm just amazed. You write really well and you should keep up the good work.

I was reading this and I was like I HAVE READ THIS SOMEWHERE WHAT???? Then I realized I wrote a review awhile back . I just wanna say congrats on spotlight and this is still so good....so very painfully sad as well. I'm not gay but I have friends who are bi/gay and it isn't a bad thing at all....it's like race it's something that makes you who you are and you shouldn't be treated differently for it . Thanks for sharing <3

Hi lakegirls,
First off, I like the simplicity of this. It has a nice tell-not-show feel, which I feel works in this situation. However, this being the case, I didn't feel much attachment to the characters in this poem. I understand that you were meant for this to strike a chord in anyone who has been in the shoes of this best friend or best friend who is gay (or I think that's what you're going at, I might be wrong) but I didn't really get the feel of this-could-be-anyone. I more felt as if you were trying to personalize the characters without enough to details to support them.
Let's get technical here.

I know what gay means now,

it’s when a boy loves a boy

and a girl loves a girl

Some malicious monster hit him

until he was so bloody and broken,

until he couldn’t breathe.

This person who was supposed to help him,

this “adult” who has made him cry.

It’s what killed my best friend,

because he was a boy who loved a boy.

Holy cow this was good, if I could keep hitting the like/vote button id be to 500,000 by now. Your rythem and words were simple but powerful. Congrats, you have blown my mind.

Omg this has 100 likes!! That's so awesome!! This was amazing. I almost started crying in the middle of class but I didn't cause that would be embarrassing >.<. I have a couple friends who are gay and I can only hope that something like this won't happen to them because that would make me so sad. This was so beautifully written and I honestly can't find anything that I would change so awesome job! I loved this and I want to read more of your work now! Congrats on the number of likes!! I think this will hit home for anyone who is gay, lesbian, bisexual, etc. and so thank you for writing something that will hopefully make them feel like they are not alone.

I think this poem was really well written and I agree with it completely. Although I've seen tons of gay rights poems and stuff the topic is getting a bit old but I liked this, I thought it hit home. I just think that the majority of people now support gay rights and I think there are other things that are important too. Like women being objectified in society or bullying etc.

So great poem, I liked it, I just don't really see that much hate against gay people (at least not in this country) and I also don't agree with all the hate comments I saw below. Let's just all say what we have to say and leave everyone alone for what they believe

PS. I was the 100th like

I have know 6 people who are gay and it really hit home for all of them when I showed them this poem. Three of them started to cry. I sent it via email to Ryan Steele (go ahead and google him), he got really emotional and thanked me and told me to tell you that you have a gift. He dealt with a ton of similar stuff when he was in middle school and high school just because he liked boys and dancing. We all thank you.

I am completely in awe at the amount of likes and comments my poem has gotten. When I wrote this, I had no idea that so many people would be able to relate to it. I first posted this poem a year ago and thanks to @Firelight it has resurfaced. Thanks to all of you it is once again featured on the Literary Spotlight.

Much love to all of you!

-Nicole

I am glad that it isn't based on real events! Though, judging from the comments, certainly many people identify with this whole situation, which makes me sad.

I like the whole progression of events. For some strange reason (probably because there are three spaces between each stanzas) I at first thought that you were only doing the whole age 10 and 12 thing, and I thought, "Oh, she better not leave it there!" Fortunately, you didn't.

Anyway, I just want to point out a couple of things that confused me about the poem! Which... may or may not be helpful. (I don't know... maybe I am just dense? I probably am...)

Stanza 1 is fine.

Stanza 2 is a bit odd because his lip is bruised, but he is crying because of the school guidance counselor. Which is understandable because authority figures saying that you suck and shouldn't exist is bad BUT... I think it would be more of a combination of the two, if that makes sense. So, someone punches him or whatever and then the guidance counselor ignores it because he's gay. And I think if that could somehow be squished in (the betrayal of both the ignorant masses that punched him and the authority figure that dismissed him) it would be more powerful a statement. So instead of talking about Society, maybe you can delve into this a bit more, as a kind of show-don't-tell thing?

Stanza 3 is a bit of a missed opportunity. One of the ways gays are able to keep it secret is to have a fake girlfriend, and I think the narrator would probably be willing to help out her friend. I think that might be a neat development to your poem. Also, Stanza 3 implies that he is moving out of his parents' place as soon as he can because they will not accept his homosexuality. I mean, moving in with somebody that young is not really a good thing unless it's a well-established relationship, and odds are that it is not a well-established relationship since he is so young at 18. Plus, this kind of implies that he is not going to be in college because he is not looking at dorms so much as this arrangement and then coming out then. So, it looks more like a quick arrangement of convenience. Which is not necessarily a good idea. Which implies that his parents don't approve and will kick him out when they find out.

Which means...

Stanza 3.5 is also a missed opportunity because it doesn't actually exist. There seems to be this period in which a person comes out in which they are either accepted by people as a person (yay!) or pretty much disowned by the people who once previously love them. This is a really pivotal, really scary time for those who are homosexual people, which is one of the reasons why coming out is such a big step for those that are lgbtqia. So, the fact that you don't actually have this as a monument and go straight to gay marriage is a bit disappointing. I would probably add this stanza in.

Stanza 4 is mostly okay, except one thing that annoys me. You say that he cannot marry, and then say that this marriage ban on gay marriage is "untrue, unfair, unjust." My bone to pick with you is that the ban on gay marriage is true, depending on where you are. In any case, I don't think that you are saying what you want to say.

Stanza 5 was kind of neat in the way that you tied in the whole church pew thing after the marriage bit, because it made me think, "Oh, maybe he's getting married?" But nope. Anyway... it was a bit confusing. I'm going to copy and paste the confusing part to me and then explain why.

First...

My best friend is gay. <- I would probably just change this to "was" instead of "is" and not italicize it. It's so subtle, it would probably be ignored, but it would make this line more powerful upon rereading.

I cry about this while I sit in the
hard church pew next to Mason.
I’m 22, he was 24.

By saying Mason last, it makes it look like the "he" you're talking about. Which I don't think is true. I might change it to something like:

I cry about this while I sit in the
hard church pew next to Mason
At my best friend's funeral.
I'm 22, he was 24.

Also, while I'm quoting things...

Some malcious monster hit him <-- I think I would have a more exciting word than "hit" here. Also, you misspelled "malicious." (Also... I seem to be repeating a bunch of reviewers here. That makes me feel a bit awkward. >.>)

As far as Stanza 5 goes... I think (and I'm not sure about this... if I am wrong, just ignore me) it is more likely for someone who is gay to kill themselves than for them to be be killed. AGAIN. I could be wrong. But, it almost feels like a missed opportunity to me. But I'm not sure. I think you should probably ignore me and go write whatever you want.

I do like what @inkwell said about the "gay best friend" to "best friend" bit. I didn't even notice that. Thanks for pointing that out.

Also, I feel awkward commenting on this, seeing as it's an old poem. BUT. It's new to me. And you seem to still be looking at the comments and reviews. SO. Here we go...

Hope this helps! It is a very powerful narrative.

This is really deep. I started to tearup as I read it. I hope to read more of your things.
Keep writing xoxo

YOU GO WRITER. IDIOTS CANT DO ANYTHING. THEY ONLY HATE

I absolutely love this poem. It provides an amazing look into growing up alongside a member of the LGBT community. My closest friend is gay, and this poem almost brought me to tears because of the parallels I can draw between the narrator's life and my own. Luckily, this friend has many people on his side, defending him, and we can hope for a happier ending. But enough about my life.

As several others have already pointed out, in the final stanza, you say that being gay is what killed the narrator's friend. After the fact that society is wrong was stressed throughout the rest of the work, this seems rather out of place.

In any case, this is an incredibly moving piece. Amazing work.

No offense, but this is the most disgusting work I've ever read on this site.

First off, feminist poetry rocks. Keep it up and ignore the fascists who need to check their privilege.

~

There's an uncomfortable tendency in our generation, perpetuated by pop culture, to commodify queer males, and this poem plays with that. You repeat the line: "My gay best friend" and end with "My best friend." This transition shows that you've stopped commodifying his otherness and simply saw him as a friend, unqualified. The sad part is that he has to die for the narrator to realize that.

I would have appreciated less of a victim narrative, and something that centered less around you (MY gbf, etc.).

Okay.

Hello, my name is Delonie, but I'm mostly known as Kamryn on here.

This brought me to tears. four months ago my best friend took his life.

my best friend was gay.

This just explains everything, everything. You've done a beautiful job on constructing this. Honestly, I'm speechless.


I just want to say thank you, for putting my feelings into words, because I have not been able to.

thank you.

-Kamryn

I am simply leaving this comment because it is my belief, I do not mean to be negative or insult anyone. it is just the fact that I do not believe in this due to my religion. I know I will get hate comments back in return for this.
I'm not saying this poem is bad either. I don't think we should be VIOLENT to other people's belief. I'm just saying it's not that of my own.
This being said, I can still be friends with people of any sexual preference. In fact, I have about 3 bisexual friends.
Whatever your thoughts are or beliefs are, I will not hate you for them. Just keep in mind I have my own beliefs as well.
I will still congratulate you for standing up for what you believe in. Just be cautious in doing so, you mind offend other people who aren't trying to be hateful as well.
~Prez. T

You won't like my opinion and it'll receive negative comments anyway, which is not what this website is for... maybe. We'll get to my opinion at the end of this Review, keep in mind I had an open mind when I read this and will remain respectful as I hope anyone who responds to this will also. Now, review time.

'Some malcious monster hit him' and I think you meant 'malicious' monster instead? The last bit, the final stanzas,it would appear Kate is blaming his being gay on his death........ I am assuming that you're point was that society as a whole is at fault for his death, not his decision...you may consider correcting this unless you're character is blaming his decision. Not all of your lines were capitalized, but a general rule of poetry is every new line gets the first letter of the first word capitalized. You may wanna check that you've done the necessary capitalization.
Ok, my errors check is done. Others may point out more or less, but that's what I saw.

Ok.. my personal opinion of your work or gay in general? This is a site on writing... I'll stick to my opinion on your poem, eh? Ok, here we go.

I'm not a supporter of LGBT....it goes against all my beliefs, which I am entitled to, and it goes against what I've been taught. That's all I'll say on that matter. Everyone is beginning to speak out on behalf on those who are proclaiming to be LGBT(I hate labeling,but LGBT is better than *different and gay*) about how mistreated they are, a persons a person no matter how small. I've been watching all these reports on LGBT protests,and noticed that half or most, are started by LGBT supporters but not actual people who are LGBT, which amused me. Supporters use words like, *mistreated, misunderstood, ignored,spurned at*as though they're helpless puppies in need of defense. If I were LGBT I'd be a bit irritated.
Now, I'm not criticizing you and saying you're evil for writing this, just stating an observation. Your work was very poetic and had a nice flow. The age reminders were nicely done. There weren't many grammar issues and this looked like something in a book. Nice work.

I challenge a homophobe to write a homophobic poem with more likes than this. umad?

Congratulations on all of the likes! I've never seen so many! And it makes me so happy that this piece has them because it means that all those people support the message.

I scan-read through some of the other comments and one said that it was quite repetitive and they didn't like that. I, on the other hand, thought that it was used perfectly. Repeating that society thinks its wrong but the narrator didn't understand why drives home the point that the homophobes in society need to get it into their thick skulls that it is completely fine.

I really liked the time jumps between stanzas, it was very powerful that even after the chunks of years between stanzas that nothing had changed for the best friend, he was still hiding.

The information given was also very well disrupted, you only gave enough for the readers to be able to follow but didn't make it too wordy. I'm not an expert with poetry, but to me it flows well.

I think maybe this part-

'Being gay is when a boy loves a boy

and when a girl loves a girl.

It’s what killed my best friend,'

- should maybe be changed. Throughout the poem, Kate doesn't understand what's wrong about being gay but then here it's like she's blaming her friend being gay to his death when that's not the case, it's the sadistic homophobe that beat him up. Kate shouldn't be blaming him for being gay, it's almost like society has warped her brain into thinking that's the case. But if that's what you were going for, the very end doesn't add up to that so it's all a bit confusing there.

You really did have me believing this was all from personal experience and I am so glad that it's not but sadly, what happened in this poem is not uncommon.

Great work. This piece had a lot of heart in it.

Oh my god! You nearly had me into tears. You were so much real in your poem, that it almost led me into believing all of this was true. I'd just like to add that there are prejudices against and unfair treatment of the homosexuals in today's world. However, if you compare it to the older times like some decades or centuries before, it was a lot more worse, so comparatively they are sort of getting their rights now - to some extent though. Plus, I have question. I know for sure that the transgenders have biological issues with them. But are people who call themselves gays and prefer other men that is of the same sex, also dealing with hormonal or other bodily issues or is it just their own preference and they can't help it?

Hey.

Oh my god, I love love love love love this! There are many gay people in my school too, and even I don't find anything wrong with it. Your poem gave a great great description of what humans have made out of this world.

I love the "age" concept here. I like the imagery too. And the description of gay again and again. It was just brilliant. Kudos.

Good job.

Keep writing and stay blessed.

xoxo

People like you make me happy, people who aren't afraid to speak their mind. I will never be able to be the person I want to be around my parents because they are christian and non tolerant. I hold christian beliefs myself but if I ever came out they would never see me as the child they once loved unconditionally but as a sinner going to hell. So I congratulate you on speaking your mind. Thank you

I am literally about to cry in the middle of class....this was fantastic

Oh my goodness. I am crying my eyes out right now. I am lesbian, so this poem pretty much encompasses everything that scares me about society's perception of me. You captured everything so perfectly and I don't know what else to say. It is too perfect and real. But I love it.

Just a quick correction..“Well, I love, Sophie,” I respond." should not have the comma after love.

Oh myy.. This was absolutely amazing. It brought tears to my eyes and made me feel like.. Just aweful. But thats what poetry is for. <3

Hey!

I think this is full of good intentions. But my honest opinion? This is kind of... meh.

Let me start with the positives first. Clearly, by the Likes this has gotten and great reviews, you struck a chord with a lot of people. That's not an easy thing to do, and it's admirable that you accomplished that. I think the topic is great, telling the story of a gay individual through his best friend. Really interesting. And I love that you did it in a poem instead of a short—it gave it a unique feel.

But the overall execution wasn't flawless. It felt a little overly sad, like you were trying to make the readers ooze with sympathy. I felt some emotion, sure, but not much. Most of what I did feel was overwhelmed by the sloppiness of the actual writing. It felt like you hadn't edited it enough. Rereading this alone would've done wonders for some of the more minor issues, like typos.

Here's one I caught right off the bat:

“Well, I love, Sophie,” I respond.

Some malcious monster hit him

He is dead for being in love

with someone he "shouldn't".

He is dead

for being himself.

I am speechless at the amount of comments and likes this poem has gotten. This is it's forth day on the Literary Spotlight and it is still the second piece of work on it. You guys are honestly amazing, I have never seen this many likes before and it's making me feel like I'm on cloud 9. Thank-you all so, so much!

Much love,
Nicole xoxo

I am honestly crying.
This was amazing.
Just, oh my, wow.

*claps*
*uproarious applause*
*standing ovation*

Absolutely love this poem. No words can describe how perfectly you got your message across. I'm gay myself but that really doesn't make a difference to this review or how I'd interpret it if I wasn't.

I couldn't see any grammar or spelling errors but I couldn't care less if there were; I feel that the poem is so strong, so real and just so meaningful everything else doesn't matter.

Clearly lots of other people love this poem and rightly so, it really touches something important and special.

When I got to the second or third stanza I thought to myself this poem could be 6 stanzas long, or 30; reading about the experience and the lives of the characters really draws you into the poem and I could have read on and on.

Amazing poem

Wow, I just cant believe how emotionally that was. You wrote that perfectly. That was one of the best pieces i have ever read! I loved it.

Sabrina here XD

I loved this piece, I am bisexual myself and I know what its like to be judged by society. It's very horrible how people are so judgmental. Anyways you represent society and how gays are judged everyday real well. I do love this very much! this is a sad yet uplifting piece. I also love that you used a best friend relationship and how the friend is so supporting of him coming out in the open and saying he is gay.Thanks for writing, and I cant wait to read more! ~Sabrina~

Goodness.
This was amazing.

I absolutely love this. Nothing to nitpick at.

Daww... This is amazing

Outstanding, amazing, brilliant! I can't find any adjective to describe it's beauty. You deserve a standing ovation! Made me speechless!

oh my heavens, you've made me cry!
what a beautiful piece.
I'm speechless. This is gorgeous. You are amazing.
Wow.
Just wow.
Lovely.

Oh my... this is absolutely stunning. My brother is gay, and this really hit home with me :'). Well done, that's really all I can say.

Would it be okay if I adapted this into a screenplay?

good thing you put the disclaimer. I think you were making people even sadder

Hey, thehotinpsychotic here to review!

This was absolutely beautiful! You made me cry, missy! I love how it goes through the stages of life. I also love the line

"It is not a bad thing,

but everyone seems to think it is."

My only nitpick is that I don't like the word 'haters' personally. It seems to cheapen the stanza. Try to come up with a better synonym, because just that one word makes the rest of the lines come off as a little juvenile.

Great job!

That was really good!

It was beautiful how you went through the different stages of understanding and the viewpoints from their different ages.

I really liked this poem; it, sadly, is true in many cases today. Love is love; we should all accept that.

Anyway, I really liked this and I would like to see more of your work.

Keep writing!

Thanks for all the amazing reviews and comments! Everyone's words have been nothing but kind and super helpful. I'm really glad that so many people can relate to this, I'm happy that my words were able to get across an important message.

For those of you who are familiar with my work(s) you'll know the poetry is not my genre so all the positive feedback has been truly amazing!


Much love,
Nicole <3

I haven't written a review in forever, but I felt like I must. I gasped when I realized he died. I have two bi friends and I love them dearly. I was curious for a time. But it''s sad that this poem is so real and so true and it tells the story of so many people, and so many yet to be told. I know you realize this. This was a poem that really spoke to me, thanks for writing it. It's hard to find poems written this way with such a message behind them. Your grammar seems utterly flawless so I am not one to ask for that. But I also have friends who are true homophobes, it makes me sad to see people so divided. And another thing, you are right love is love and once we learn to accept that the world will be a better place.

This is sooooooo sad. Love the repetition. Love how you added in the true feeling. If this was a real event I would feel like life has no meaning (not literally.). This is overall the saddest poem of this subject I have read so far. OMG great job!

Precious.
In every way. In every word.

I can't say more than this, GREAT JOB

I absolutely loved this and I couldn't stop reading it. I usually don't enjoy poetry, but I thought this was really well written with great fluidity to it. I thought it was really effective the way you used the repetition of 'my best friend is gay' to contrast and emphasise the last line 'my best friend is dead'. You captured this emotive subject excellently and I loved this poem

I think the repetition really makes this poem work. My main suggestion is to break this poem into stanzas, each starting with the line "my best friend is gay," and then the last line, "my best friend is dead," would stand alone. I would also suggest cutting the last "he is dead for being a boy/who loved a boy," because you've already got "because he was a boy who loved a boy" after the "my best friend is gay" that precedes this stanza, so it's almost too much repetition, plus it's a little redundant.

More nitpicky, I'd change "idiot" in the line about the "homophobic idiot" (no comma between those two words, by the way) to something...stronger. Or perhaps more on the dot. I mean, "idiot" is an insult, yes, but...I mean, this was a horribly violent event that the word "idiot" just doesn't seem to do justice. An "idiot" is the guy who cut you off in traffic because evidently he doesn't know how to use his turn signal to let you know he's getting over. A, maybe a monster or a...I don't have a word bad enough for this that is also appropriate to use in a review, but for now let's go with, a "monster" is someone who kills someone else because he doesn't agree with the someone else's lifestyle.

So I hope that helps. Otherwise this was good--simplistic but powerful.

Blue

Hi there!

Ooh, I love this. <3 It was lovely and heartbreaking and so many things. That ending, too... the "he was 24" line I had to reread, it took me by surprise. Though I guess I should've seen that coming, but I got so caught up in the piece I wasn't trying to figure out the ending.

You evoke a lot of images in the reader's mind, and do it seamlessly. None of them are too much, or too little, just enough to show the reader what's happening. I really admire this.

The repetition of "my best friend is gay" and their ages was a stroke of brilliance. You really get to see these friends throughout the years, all the way to the bitter and tragic end. Loved it.

It was a simple, kind of understated poem that lent nicely to the theme. Almost humble. You weren't trying to do anything crazy with it, just telling a story (in a very eloquent and beautiful way).

I could go on for ages on why I loved this, but instead I'll get to the critical stuff.

Firstly, the formatting. I'm not sure if this was on purpose or not (and if it was, ignore me), but I would've liked to have seen it broken into stanzas. I think it would've looked nicer, neater. Could just be me, though.

“Well I love, Sophie,” I respond.

Some homophobic, idiot punched him

until he was so bloody and broken, until he couldn’t breathe.

Hey guys! Thanks for all the amazing reviews! Fortunatley, this isn't based on real events, I don't know if I'd be able to write on if it was. It's just something I feel really strongly about. Once again thanks for the reviews <3

-Nicole

Retro here!

Just want to say I love this poem. I think it is beautifully written, and the context is the sort of thing that hits home to me. I think you have a true masterpiece here, and though my comment review thing may not have that much weighting behind it or help for your writing I just want to say thank you for writing this, and raising awareness for the idiotic notion which is homophobia.

Thanks,
Keep it up.
~Retro

Beautiful, absolutely beautiful. I was totally engrossed in the content of this poem. Was this drawn from reality? If so I am sorry, and that will make it harder to critique this fine piece of work. However, out of obligation, I will pick up on a few minor mistakes in regards to language use.

It flowed fairly well, well enough to serve as relatively rhythmic as poems probably should. However, one thing that put me off a bit, and slightly took away the dampening effect of loss, was the line "some homophobic idiot punched him" ( there was an unnecessary comma in the line as well) it just didn't fit right, it just seems like quick and lazy language. There could of been a more subtle or more affective way of working that line.

Also, I must commend you on the consistent reference to your age, and the reference to being gay. You manipulated it very well and succeeded in telling a story. Good job, the poem was brilliant.

first off, this is very very nice. I mean it. it introduces a concept. I especially like the end when the piece gets more dramatic and likewise realistic. the title interests me too because it's so straightforward and increases curiosity. by the end of the poem, one can almost feel the pain the author has felt. and that's the best part in every poem. keep up the good work. thanks for publishing

Aw you made me cry . Also my cousin went through the same thing and some how he made it through. I guess some are just luckier than others.

Much love <3