Snoink

I actually like your writing style a lot! It is clean and has lots of tension because you don't crowd it with unnecessary description. I like it a lot! There ...

Um... how do I put this nicely? Pretend that you have to pay a dollar for every adjective and five dollars for every adverb in this piece. You would be ...

On one hand, I really want to love this! It's a beautiful poem with lots of wonderful phrases. For instance, "moon illuminates the sidewalk/and tells us where to waltz" and ...

It’s engine technology was unparalleled, and it’s five reactors were able to provide enough power for all these things and the super-fast computers that made up the bulk of the ...

Hmmm... this poem is kind of confusing. First of all, what is dimentia? At first, I though it might be a misspelling of "dementia" but if this is the case, ...

Hey Calla! When I was reading this, I was kind of thinking back to my own childhood and how I looked at the world and such. For example, when I ...

Hi PixieStix! I agree with Cspr... it does appear to be a creepy nursery rhyme! So, kudos to you for this. The main thing that made me guilty was your ...

I wasn't going to comment on this, because I loved it, but then I saw the other comments and I kind of disagreed with them, so I figured I would ...

This seems more like a poem and less like a prologue, to be honest. I mean, you might be able to format it like this: the day passes slowly, the ...

Okay! So, I grew up in the Bay Area, and because of this, a couple of things annoyed me about this piece. 1. The fog does not come from the ...

Hey Yatta! I really like the simplicity of this poem... I think that is really going for you in this case. It's simple in several ways too... in the voice ...

Okay, so this is going to be about 1 and 2! Right now, this is a good start because it has interesting characters and it kind of has that film ...

Wolves do indeed rule! I was wondering... why do the wolves have Japanese names? Wouldn't it be a name that wolves could easily pronounce? It's not a big thing, really, ...

Hi Preacher! Cole dealt with all the things I would have dealt with, so just pretend that I am repeating Cole. He's right! This is as bare bones as it ...

Hi Soulkana! First off, I wanted to comment really quickly that the format looks weird at parts. This may or may not be your fault, but it's no real biggie, ...