Desolate: Prologue

Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),

Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!

First Impression: Well, this was a pretty neat little prologue right here...its certainly got a very simple scene there, but the subtle little details seem to paint quite the picture...and I certainly can't help but imagine all sorts of situations here wanting to know more about what's going on.

Anyway let's get right to it,

I groggily stagger to the front door of the apartment. Who could be knocking at this hour? No one in this complex knew my mom and I, we just moved here last night. I flicked on lights to avoid what little boxed belonginngs we owned. Our door doesn't have a peephole, so unable to view who the visitor was I open the door a crack.

A man in a suit stands with a dark leather briefcase in the hallway of the apartment building. His bald head is shiny in the flourecent lighting, almost as his gleaming polished shoes. His nose sticks out like a bird's beak with his large nostrils flaring slightly. The man gripes his brief case and says, "Are you Erin Malone?"

"And who are you?" I ask, suddenly glad I didn't unlatch the chain from the door.

"Agent Rufus Getti. FBI." The agent flashes me a very important looking badge. My grip tightens on the door knob.

"Am I in trouble?"

"No. This is about your father: Jack Malone."

I unlatch the door chain.

Aww... I wish you added some more stuff! You can't just leave it at a cliffhanger on the first part! But anyways I really like this!

I was shocked at how short this was but then i read it and thought wow, i want to read more. In this short amount of writing you have created so much questions and in a healthy way so that your novel seems appealing. I say keep writing. I am actually curious now as to how things out. Having read chapter 1 i know that he just goes straight there. I wonder how the fbi knew or why they sent him or why he went. It doesn't make any sense escpecially because the government feared an infection before??

I like it It makes the readers want more, what happened to her father? Why is the FBI there in the middle of the night? And the tone of everything makes me think their running from something, but from what, I'm not sure. All and all, a very catching prologue. I don't have anything bad to say really, but to stretch your writing capabilities, try to put some more descriptive words in there like:
I groggily stagger to the front door of our new dingy apartment. The walls drip with mildew and unpleasant smells of the previous owners.

Make your readers be in the story, make them see, hear and smell all that you are when your writing it. You do have allot of talent though, but don't stay in your comfort zone. To grow as a writer, test your every strength and weakness
I can't wait to read the rest!

I actually like your writing style a lot! It is clean and has lots of tension because you don't crowd it with unnecessary description. I like it a lot!

There are a couple of things, of course. You do have some spelling and grammar errors. For instance, this is grammatically wrong (with a small spelling error besides that... florescent is spelled wrong. Unless, you're not American and that's the way it's normally spelt?):

His bald head is shiny in the flourecent lighting, almost as his gleaming polished shoes.

His bald head is shiny in the florescent lighting, almost as shiny as his gleaming polished shoes.

His bald head is shiny in the florescent lighting, like his gleaming polished shoes.

I flicked on lights to avoid what little boxed belonginngs we owned.

The man gripes his brief case and says

Hi there!

I'm super interested to know what happens next! You left me hanging! I wanna know! Ah! Okay, now onto the review:

This is a good prologue. In this short piece, you've given me a setting, a time, characters, and the main (or minor, not sure) conflict of the novel. Great. That's what I look for in all good prologues. That and a cliffhanger which you obviously have.

Your descriptions are great. Especially the one about the agent:

A man in a suit stands with a dark leather briefcase in the hallway of the apartment building. His bald head is shiny in the flourecent lighting, almost as his gleaming polished shoes. His nose sticks out like a bird's beak with his large nostrils flaring slightly.