Rydia

A rather action packed installment and you left it on a cliff-hanger which is always a good idea. A few specific comments - The people in the town [s]have[/s] had ...

Hehe. I think this is just what I needed to read today actually. I've been having one of those bad days myself but I found this rather amusing, especially that ...

A few minor suggestions first - He made a wall out of bark that had fallen of off trees and two more out of [s]leafs[/s] leaves and vines that he ...

I'm starting to like Khor a little better. Here are a few suggestions - On[s]e[/s] the other three walls were windows. Khor looked at him, [s]than[/s] then at the weapons ...

This was really sweet and romantic, Alice. A few suggestions - “mom, dad ' s so far into the addiction he won’t give a crap!” His mom [s]and[/s] sighed and ...

Oh wow, you do have an interesting main character. She will be brilliant in the storybook! And I love the plot so far and your description is beautiful. Just a ...

Hey there Snoink. Just a quick note to say that I'm dropping out of the competition for your 'apocalypse' post again but I thought you might as well have my ...

Generally I liked this but I do have one piece of criticism - drop the weapons list. It's okay to mention a few of the different weapons and describe them ...

No crits on this one? I shall soon correct that... Let's start with a few corections first and then I'll make some general observations - As he stood he brushed ...

Hmm. I think you need to linger more on Jhere's death and certainly cut down the number of shades Khor kills. But yeah, Jhere shouldn't die so suddenly. By this ...

Lol. Don't worry, they're all being sarcastic, including Dreamy, especially Dreamy in fact. But seenas it's done by a member of the brilliant SPEW, I feel obliged to say that ...

Just a few points the others missed and generally I liked this section but I agree that the students wouldn't just sit inside and discuss the danger... [s]He[/s] His face ...

This was pretty good and I only found one typo - Their leader and a few other s escaped by shooting down the wall of policemen and aliens in their ...

The others have caught most but here are a few mistakes - Khor took it and said “Stand.” [Don't leave two lines between these sentences.] Khor returned him his sword ...

I'm back. Okay so here's how I'd do the other two - Story two - [A touch, or press of the lips against someone's mouth or other body part as ...