Kit

Goodness Gracious Mary Agnes. Just my opinion but less line breaks, less line breaks, less line breaks. It is exhausting, and the enjambment is in weird places. I think the ...

This reminded me a little bit of Oscar Wilde's Salome. In that play, Salome is this princess, and everyone in madly in love with her and they describe her in ...

Too short, too short, I could taste it and then it was gone. But then you always leave me wanting more. The word play is very good, but you already ...

Herro Hero, I'm glad to see someone writing sonnets, they are so shiney. First I'm going to look at the rhythm. This is how I hear it, so if I ...

Making rhymes with sentence fragmentation you are. Need to enforce your will upon the phrasing you must. Like Yoda otherwise you will seem. It's easy to think that the point ...

iWish???.. I wish I was a Bird so I could fly away.. away from all of my problems. I feel like I'm a Chameleon, why because I feel no one ...

It's not a sadness. I'm not sad. It's just a sunkenness-- a lethargy--that makes one heavy with existence. To put it simply, "I am here, but I feel nothing." I ...

Okay, I have to put on my grumpy old musician hat now. You are using the musical/dance terms, but without saying anything about the movement that they evoke, so they ...

I like how you are approaching this, you have some really good ideas. I'm approaching it from a slightly different angle because I am a harpist before I am a ...

" I will eviscerate you in fiction. Every pimple, every character flaw. I was naked for a day; you will be naked for eternity." (A Knight's Tale) I have to ...

Cycle? Curse? Pure? Bloodstained? This is epic and all, but I can't not think of periods. Although maybe if they read stuff like this at red tent parties, I would ...

There is a lot about thus poem that is truly lovely. However: to sew your love into my heart, without this pretence, this pursue I wasn't sewn like this. Sew ...

It is interesting in that while it is a sonnet, you have used the three line structure, which is fairly typical in modern verse but also somehow reminded me of ...

where the lords of old do reside and ancient stories do breathe life. where my beloved ancestors do reside. I would go one further than Lumi and say none of ...

I was just speaking with my paramour about ee cummings, and for funsies, he was reading his poems without the bits that are in parentheses. It was surprisingly coherent. When ...