Gravity

I was just speaking with my paramour about ee cummings, and for funsies, he was reading his poems without the bits that are in parentheses. It was surprisingly coherent. When looking at this poem, he responded, "wouldn't it make more sense if the 'f' was in brackets, which I think is absolutely correct. Living my f is less of a thing. Although totally get the life/lie thing, I think it would just clarify it. Replay sticks out as well, it doesn't quite fit in the stanza, as you are personifying 'them' in the other lines of it. I like the structure, it is doing interesting things thematically. 'Preying' is kind of odd too, isolated like that...unless it is word play, but then that doesn't quite make sense either, it works written down but not out loud. It is difficult with the one word lines to create flow and hold it together as a poem, and you do a pretty good job of it, it's just the odd one that interrupts it like that.

Hello again! I'm back for more
My first thought: this is really good. I don't know how long you've been writing poetry, but from what I've read from you so far, it seems like you've been doing it for a while.
Also, is there a reason the word "life" is written like [i][li]f[e][/b]? It kind of confused me and threw off my reading. The last line reminds me of a song: Monster by Skillet. Have I mentioned that this is really good?
I'll be reading a lot more of your work now that I know how good you are, so be expecting a crap ton more reviews like this (short and full of love <3 ) If you have anything else you would like me to read/review, shoot me a PM and let me know. Until then, keep up the great writing.

And stay insane, all of the best writers are c:

--ForsakenAngel