Published June 1, 2012
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139,521 Literary Works • 672,596 Reviews
First of all, with the 'paragraph' thing, there is such an animal as a prose poem, and I would look into it. They work really well with stream of consciousness stuff and are a lot more fluid and organic sometimes than having linebreaks every time. I don't know whether or not this poem works better as a prose poem or just a straight poem, but not using linebreaks is allowed.
What I would say is more of a threat to the 'poem' thing, is that you aren't using poetic devices, there is no sustained metaphor or allegory, no assonance, alliteration, rhyme, no sense imagery, etc.. It is valid to just say how you feel, but it helps create more of an effect on your reader if you use technique to augment it. It would be interesting if you took a new stanza to explore what it would be like being each of those animals, what it feel slike to fly, what it feels like to swim, etc etc as those animals.
Also, Dauphin is a french nobleman, the thing in the sea with the flippers is a dolphin.
Hiya! Roxy here!
http://dictionary.reference.com/ Hopefully you might find it useful!
Okay I'm a little confused at the mo,because its not coming up in a poem form- its a paragraph on my laptop..Did you change it out of a poem form? Or maybe its just my laptop acting up!
Anywho if its alright with you I might look at it like a paragraph for the moment cause I cant see the line length or if there is a rhyming scheme or the likes!
Heres a website I use for spelling, its not my greatest point either!
Its an interesting piece! I like your refrences to the different types of animals, but I would love if you went into more description with them! Its like your toying around with several great ideas but you havn't fully committed to any of them! For example, why do you feel like a bug? How does it make you feel? what type of bug are you? You mightn't have to go into all that detail but you get my drift yeah?
Personall,I would never put a face into a writing piece, I just never think that they're neccassary!
An interesting piece indeed! but I feel you could do so much more with it and I hope you do!!
PM me with any Qs!
--Roxy
I agree with UpAndOut15, if you're righting a poem you need to have some rhythm. though i don't why in a couple of spots you have lots of question marks when the line doesn't appear to be a question. I could get it if you were saying that Lions are afraid of things, but that doesn't feel like what your saying. Lastly a couple of things are spelled wrong (is that a creative choice, or a mistake? Because they look like mistakes.) you may want to fix those in edit (please excuse any spelling errors in this reveiw, I stink at spelling).
Otherwise this is a nice poem. I like the lines that show the narrator's (I guess that's you, do to the words of the poem) feels trapped and afraid, and the second last line is great. I like how you say that you are you not anything else, beautiful!
Like i have said i really Don't Like To Rhyme. And I am a Horrable Speller So yeah there Might be a some missspelled wrods.
Also The Poem was subpost to have Pics. in it and when i copyed and pasted it, The Pics. didn't show Up. So thats why the "?" marks are in there replacing the pics for some reason. ( Sorry ) and when i tryed to edit it, It didn't come out right still and so i gave up.
But thank you for Reviwing my Poem.
Hey, Kisha! Here as requested!
This was good. I liked the bird line and polar bear line best. Polar bears are awesome, fierce and loving as you said. But onto the review. You have great ideas here, lines that could flow well together if worded a certain way. I believe your rhythm is off though. Try and keep each line around the same length and speak out those lines when writing them. Poetry was meant to be spoken, hence the whole aspect of rhythm. If they sound like they fit with each other out loud, they'll fit on paper.
Other than that, this has some real potential and is great.
Keep writing! : )
~ The Rockster
Thanks ! But I really dnt like to rhyme in my lies.. but thankssss
Hey Kisha,
I'll try to edit in a review so this isn't a complete waste of space too, yeah? K, let's do this.
Okay thanks
iWish???..
I wish I was a Bird so I could fly away.. away from all of my problems.
I feel like I'm a Chameleon, why because I feel no one see's me.
I wish I was a Dauphin so I could swim so fast away from danger.
I feel like a Bug that nobody wants around........
I wish I was a Lion, not afraid of nothing.......
I feel like a Monkey, that everyone just points and laughs at.
I wish I was a Polar Bear, so fierce, and loving.
Even though I feel like I'm the animals I named, I'm always goanna be Kisha Seltha Marie Anderson, And that???s never goanna change............. Well only for the better... ( ha)
I really like this
it needs some work defiantly, particularly the last part, it kind of seems like it shouldn't be there. Try bringing it in with a rhythm so it will all flow together and try use less (....) 
but other than that it's got something in it so keep writing 
Katie
Hey, thanks But i dnt like to wite with rhythm... but thats