Kaylyn

Just a few thing: Grammar: A comma needs to be inserted between take and take on the first stanza. Rhyme/Rhythm: Your rhyme seems a little forced in some areas. All ...

Just a few things: Grammar: You need a space between each and other in the third stanza. Really only has two L's..looks like a typo. Flow: So your last two ...

Here are a few things: Grammar: Insert a space between silence and dead. Content: I feel like the first and last stanza are playful and light-hearted, but your second stanza ...

Ok, just a few things: Grammar: "She says she wants him to hold her, but her phone is dying, it's ending much to quickly." Should be: "...too quickly" Structure: Not ...

Alright, so just a few things. I'll do a line by line review for you. First off however I must say, it is extremely distracting to the reader for to ...

Welcome to YWS. I'll be reviewing your poetry today, so just a few things: Rhythm/Rhyme: So reading your poem, some of the rhyme seem a little forced. When it is ...

Just a few things: Grammar: "The movement of his hypnotic tongue; lures us in closer until we sense danger." So the ; is not necessary here, and doesn't fit. Take ...

Aley, great job with the poem. Here's a couple things: Grammar: Nothing that I can find is faulty here. Great job. Flow: The flow is great, the only lines that ...

First off, I want to say yes, this style works great for this poem. It fits in so well with the topic. However, maybe sure they are aligned in some ...

Normally with most short poems such as these, I encourage the writer to go further, but here I think it works. I also like the abnormal alignment of Not to ...

Okie dokie, I'll be doing your review today. I'll do a line by line edit for you. Wine glass half full Emptied by a man Add comma Who stood on ...

"Want to play jump rope?" When using dialogue, seperate it. Was the question that starteld Should be startled me back out of my thoughts. I forced a smile onto my ...

First let me say that while short poems can be great, I think that you could add more with this, and that it is wide open for additions. Just a ...

Your grammar is very spot on, and I didn't catch any mistakes. The diction you used is very nice. Not the standard, elementary word usage, and this was very refreshing. ...

First off let me say your flow is absolutely spot on. There was only one line out of the entire thing that didn't quite fit: "and cold nights spelled out ...