Hannah

This poem has a super enticing first line; it works for people who know where their daddies are, 'cause then they wonder who is missing one and why, and it ...

hey there, shina! long time no see~ first, we've got some big pieces of advice for you to take action on if you want to get toward a good edit. ...

Hey, Hymar. Have you tried using the preview feature? Do you copy your work straight in from a word processing program? I heard the new posting code is supposed to ...

hey, ash. I will lose the weight I want to, even when it gets rough. after all the other resolutions centering around personality traits and all that other good, MEANINGFUL ...

number one: the sudden change from a third-person vantage point to being directly spoken to is jarring and feels cheap. besides that, it makes me think, "hey wait, you're the ...

"a nice, silent day", is a very very strong line in this, but Charissa, you are letting yourself be hampered by attempting to rhyme. i don't know if you read ...

Hey. This is an exercise in voice, and I absolutely RESPECT and ENCOURAGE you for that, but yes, you have to realize the audience you're writing to. We, like your ...

I am fairly sure, from the strength of your last line, that the rhyming ruined what would have been an immensely engaging poem. I was about ready to dismiss it ...

Okay, up front i want to say that i really like the concept of this poem and the vengeance in the speakers voice, the way we don't know her intent ...

hey girl, lemme gitchu a review up in here! It's magical. The overall effect is Narnia-like. Anything could happen. take this out and let your piece live and breathe in ...

no no no no no no! no, i am sorry, but no! you cannot just use every big, romantic sounding word you know and try to call it poetry! i ...

This is the beginning. This is the start of what will be a powerful non-fiction piece, but you MUST dig further. You MUST find the meat of this. Firstly, you ...

youuu drew me in immediately with aquarius. as your face when I told that you're like when i told you that you're like is what i think you meant. and ...

woo, you were pushing this far too hard, lumi. some of it is brilliant and clear, but some of it is way too heavy handed and went beyond your reach. ...

Heyyy, GeeLyria. I know you worked hard on this, and you did a good job of finding opposites or related phrases and pairing them all together in a line, and ...